My life is pathetic because the highlight of my day involved me seeing an insanely hot girl walking her dog around my hood, that forced me to discreetly follow home, like that will increase my chances of getting her naked….but if ever I become I rapist…I know my first stop….
Your life is pathetic cuz the highlight of your day are my steplinks…and by you I mean my imaginary reader I have created who is far more lame than me and who turns to me for guidance, like a life coach or idol….to make me feel less pathetic about myself while making me even more pathetic than originally thought….
Here are my stepLINKS
Spencer and Heidi Are Full of Shit and Here’s a Shot of Heidi’s Ass to Prove It GO
Earlier today, I wasted my time talking about Leighton Meester, the ugly girl on gossip girl, all because she was wearing a tight dress, when what I was really looking for, was out there waiting for me, I just wasn’t looking hard enough for it, and that is Blake Lively on set, showing off tit, in some titty window shirt more girls shouldd be wearing, that kinda remind me of the t-shirts with the cut out tit holes I tried selling 10 years ago, but never succeeded with making it into a trend, only this is way more accessible….cuz cleavage, despite not being full tit, is usually good enough for me…not that I’m a Gossip Girl fan, I’ve just got sucked in cuz of the lack of decent young starlets to lust over, Hollywood’s in a fucking drought…
These pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio on the runway in some bikini company called Koton would have been far better if they were taken before her pregnancy, but proven with my wife, and everything else in my life….I generally take what I can get…but that doesn’t mean I am happy about it…
New York Fashion week officially started. You may be asking what that has to do with you….and the answer is pretty much nothing….but it does mean that every hot model you may want to fuck because she has ridiculous legs and isn’t fat will be strutting down the runway, often times in sheer tops and half naked, cuz fashion and nipples go hand in hand and I guess I’ll keep track of that as well as I keep track of everything, which is not very well at all….but I seem to be doing alright at staring at a kicking model in little short’s crotch
The Chinese, normally known for being sensitive to all Western traditions, by doing things like tainting our kids toys with lead, ripping off things we sell for a lot of money and selling it for less, and a whole lot of other amazingness that makes China the greatest place in the fucking world, in terms of constant excitement, dealing with funny people, and pretty much feeling like you are on another planet….
I wasn’t surprised to see this new Chinese Lingerie company called “Diana”….The slogan reads
Feel the romance of British royalty.
Which is apparently aslo the same chinese symbol tattooed on half the cast of Jersey Shore thanks to a booth on Ocean City boardwalk….and really who cares…dead princesses in lingerie is hot….so focus on that.
I like mail order brides….except when they lose their fucking minds and you wake up to them having flashbacks from her war torn communist years that involve a butcher knife to your fucking neck….cuz they don’t love you..they don’t even like you…they are just with you cuz they have to be and because you paid for them to be there and if they ever leave you…they know their pimp will find them, torture and kill them….but at least they look good doing it.
Leighton Meester may be the ugly girl on Gossip girl, and I may hate her for no real reason, but I have no choice but to respect a chick who was willing to follow her mother’s whore lead, star in fetish movies and some how manage to suck the right dick, all because she wanted to live the good life at a young age, cuz working the 9-5 grind in retail or at a hair salon or wherever else girls work fucking sucks.
We should all thank Leighton Meester’s mom for being a criminal in prison when she was born, forcing her to live in a halfway house, where she learned invaluable lessons about legal prostitution and getting what you want…whether you have the looks or not…because it just takes the right attitude…. horrible morals and values into her…
When I first started up on Twitter , the first celebs I decided to interact with were Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. I made fun of their relationship, her fear of getting older, her accident victim child created in her damaged, inadequate womb, her sexual relationship with guy who I guess had mommy issues, her shitty fake tits, and then they blocked me…..and my life didn’t change one bit, except maybe not being the first to find these pictures of Demi posing in her bikini, but then again, who really wants to see a 50 year old in a bikini, no matter how much she bench presses, or how many ab crunches she can do in an hour. She’s disgusting. She was never hot. Just over-rated whore trash…..but you probably like her…so here it is…
I don’t think Vanessa Hudgens is trying to pull off the homeless street kid look purchased at your local mall….I also don’t think Vanessa Hudgens is all that hot, but instead think she’s one of those Jojo Levesques who was only being lusted for cuz she was 17, and the day she turned 18, she became a troll of a bitch who only black guys like….
But this does remind me of this street kid by my house, unfortunately not nearly as hot as the street kid near my house. She is always half naked, showing off her skinny, hungry, drug addicted body, in a bikini top, or bra and little shorts, or a little punk rock skirt with no panties, that she intentionally positions herself to show everyone her pussy.
But maybe I just like mine better cuz I know I can have sex with her if I really wanted to shell out the 20 dollars….where as Hudgens is a little harder and living the good life for that to ever really happen…but when her free ride ends…I know the little slut in her, we’ve all seen, will make a comeback, and sometimes that’s good enough reason to keep tabs on a bitch…
Mila Kunis is the kind of girl who doesn’t have to be half naked, fully naked, exposing her nipples, or her vagina, inserting things in her vagina, fingering her vagina, releasing video of her eating vagina, giving handjobs, licking asshole, or any of that other stuff my desensitized pervert ass needs to get off, or even to make me respect her/notice her as a person….She is just good the way she is…sure I wouldn’t mind seeing her doin’ those other things….actually I’d like it a lot, unless of course it was with her Culkin husband, because he looks HIV positive, but AIDS or not, I’d be more than happy to crawl inside this bitch…
Despite all the hate mail I get about stepNEWS, I’ve decided to start my day with it, because I figure you’ve never done shit for me, so I might as well put up what I want, but more importantly, random idiots and perverts are more interesting than celebrities in bikinis doing nothing entertaining but being in bikinis…unfortunately something that sucks me in everytime…but still not as important as these news clips…
Former Child Prostitute Speaks Out
A Houston teenager who was forced into prostitution is talking only to FOX 26 about her ordeal after a viewer helped find her alleged torturer.
Douglas Co. Police Search for Flasher
Douglas County police said a man was caught on video flashing children at a local store. Investigators said Tuesday that they want to get the guy before another child is traumatized and they said he has already done the same thing to other children.
Priest Won’t Be Charged Over Taped Sex
The Berks County district attorney said Tuesday his office won’t press charges against the Rev. Luis A. Bonilla Margarito because a police investigation determined that the relationship started when the girl was 18.
Man Slashes Throat in Court
A suburban Dallas man used a razor blade to slit his throat moments after a judge sentenced him to 40 years in prison.
Rape Suspect Flees Without Pants
Philadelphia police are searching for a rape suspect accused of attacking a woman near a subway entrance then fleeing the scene, leaving behind his pants, wallet, and shoes.
Strip Club Search Light Endangers Flight
The spinning search light atop a Dallas strip club flooded the cockpit of a jet preparing to land, sparking safety concerns
CA Doctor Found Dead in Chimney
A California doctor was found in the chimney, apparently in an attempt to get into the home of a man she was dating.
There used to be a girl who used to come over and put on vagina puppet shows 5 years ago. We never fucked, she would just knock on my door, I’d answer and she’d have her skirt hiked up, running dialog, like if she could borrow some milk, all while making her vagina talk. These vagina puppet shows were not really erotic, but still some of the best and only vagina puppet shows anyone ever performed for me….leading to a lifetime obsession with the idea of vagina puppet shows, but never finding a girl to take my requests seriously….
I ran into the vagina puppeteer today and she pretended she didn’t know me. Here I thought maybe we could go to a park nearby and relive the glory vagina puppet show days, but instead, she left me with nothing but feelings of inadequacies, like I wasn’t good enough to witness her secret talent she once shared with me…
I don’t know what bullshit I am running, cuz I didn’t actually didn’t bother trying to talk to her, partially because she was screaming insanity on the street while begging for money, and figured vagina puppet shows or not, it’s not worth the headaches because the vagina puppeteer was a crazy person and I try to avoid crazy people, it just didnt make for as good of a story…Here are my stepLINKS…
Deperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve spent my day looking for the hottest bullshit I could find on celebrity cunt I hate, but nothing was as good as this morning’s Salma Hayek tits, so I’m scrambling trying to find the goods, and all I could come up with was this disguting Kelis bitch in a fucking see thru and shit looks more lie Jay Z in a granny afro wig than pussy I wanna fuck, but she’s got a bra on, and that’s all it takes for me to decide whether she’s relevant or not…I am that pathetic…no matter how disgusting it is and Kelis is my proof of that….Unfortunately….
I am convinced that Katy Perry is the fucking devil coming to pollute our lives, at least that’s what her music makes me think…Not to mention that her skin always looks like it’s peeling off. Sure, she passes it off as acne, but I think it’s latex/silicone/make-up to cover her demon face….like some kind of Halloween costume on some 3 am drunk pussy after puking up the night’s festivities for 3 hours….
I am convinced she’s not human, and further proof of that is that her nipple are never hard. Prostetic to make us believe she’s not hear to eat our children.
Someone needs to slay this monster and save humanity….or at least get me some topless pics of her and her bad skin…
Remember when Gisele was all the rage, before Victoria’s Secret fired her for being a dude, and Tom Brady fake married her and fake got her pregnant, cuz she’s the kinda dude a closet case can appreciate to keep up the front, and sure these pictures don’t prove that she’s not a dude, cuz she’s wearing clothes, but they do prove that she’s not fat, and sometimes, especially in America, that’s enough to be considered fantasy, you know since everyone there is fat….
I know some of you closet cases were huge Gisele fans…so I figure seeing her wet will make you happy….and that’s really all I have to say about that….
