Obviously being on Big Brother doesn’t give you any sense of what’s hot or what’s stylish, you’re stuck in a house with a bunch of rednecks, not that I have seen the show, but I did see an episode with some cowboy hat rocking toothless guy and his long lost sister (that’s what happens when you are trash, you lose your kids), anyway it doesn’t matter, bitch is showing the world her cellulite ridden legs and her dirty little ass, and I know some of you will be mad, because you have no taste and this is how all the strippers at your local truck stop dress…..including your mom and sister, I hear they have a great lesbian show. It’s okay, we all gotta make a livin’ somehow.
I assume you all know what a fat manager is, considering they are always the girls you end up with. I know I am giving you way too much credit by thinking you do actually get pussy, so let me rephrase that, a fat manager is the girl you would end up with if you actually left your house and talked to girls. If you still don’t get it, because you are an idiot, the fat manager is the ugly girl that the hot girl surrounds herself with to make herself look better. The fat manager is a pain in the ass for people like me who like to fuck hot chicks because they always get dumped on you when you are moving in on the hot girl, they sit and talk to you, and you try to humor them and make them laugh because you think if she likes you, she will put the good word in for you. What you don’t realize is that she ends up digging you and when you ask to be hooked up with the hotty cuz community service is over, she cock blocks you, guilt trips the hot girl, because she gets all the guys and life’s not fair…..kill yourself if life’s that hard you ugly bitch, and get out of my way, cuz I want your friend lickin my asshole and not you, but I will let you watch, cuz I am into that. Paris Hilton’s got a couple fat managers at the beach…but who wants Paris’ cunt, that shits seen more unprotected cock that an effeminate inmate with a life sentence…..rich girls don’t have to use condoms….that’s the rumor.
There’s something amazing about small towns, and that something has to do with all the bored perverted hicks. They don’t know what the fuck to do with themselves except fuck the neighbor’s dog and videotape their wives getting facials from half the town, including your father, the highschool gym teacher and the police chief, because everyone is equally fucked up and you have all known each other from birth, it’s only natural to turn monotony into opportunity and that always comes in the form of town gangbangs with the local slut. The benefit of having a town that is only 2 hours outside of the “big” city is that there’s always one guy with the foresight to start something big, and in the case of Renfrew Canada, that came in the form of a Video Store/Sex Shop/Tanning Salon all under one roof. This shit is lateral expansion at it’s finest and if they ever opened a fish taco stand in the back, I could call this shit home.
It’s unfortunate, Christina Aguilera is engaged, which means that for all you fucking losers, you will never be able to pretend that you have a chance, based on these pictures I wouldn’t be so quick to think that though. This bitch obviously has low self esteem cuz her boyfriend doesn’t look human. He has more flaws than most ugly people, he looks like a fucking primate. I know most of you aren’t winning your local beauty pageants, and I know you don’t have the kind of money this cat has, even his shoes are made of platinum, but I still think you have a chance, and so does your mother. We are the only 2 people who see your inner beauty, but at least your mom gets her asshole eaten out for it…what the fuck have you done for me lately, momma’s boy.
Remember that fat chick who sat in the back of the class, she had no friends and she never got attention from the boys, even the fucking losers who were missing teeth, because bitch was that disgusting. She lacked the social skills needed to integrate, because not all ugly people are losers, but this bitch just couldn’t hack it. She grew up, didn’t go to college because her family couldn’t afford it, and lived with her overweight mother until she died from diabetes complications. So this bitch maintained, by working the cash and taking over her mother’s room, now lonlier and hurting on the inside more than ever. She waited and waited for Mr. Right to come along, she sat at her counter wishing that he would one day come in a sweep her off her feet after paying for his Air Compressor. Her fantasy never became a reality, so with her hard earned Walmart money, she put aside a little every week, eventually being able to afford the bottom of the line digital camera. She was horny one day, it happens to the best of us sometimes, especially when we are well over 30 and the closest we’ve ever been to the opposite sex is giving them their change. So one night, bitch sets up the camera, and brings her cat who doubles as her only surviving family member and her only friend, and get’s down to business in her Bill Cosby pyjamas….that’s where the bitch from highschool is today, this isn’t an E! True Hollywood story, but it could be if she wasn’t such a loser…..This is your life motherfucker, don’t end up like the crazy cat lady in these pictures.
You ever wonder what happens when a brother and sister fuck and see the pregnancy through, not because they want to, but because they are too stupid to realize that brothers can knock up sisters, and one day when Betty Sue feels a like she’s got to doo harder than she’s ever had to thanks to eating too much BBQ ribs and coleslaw at the town fair, to her surprise, while sitting on the toilet in the communal outhouse, little Kletus falls out….reality comes crashing down…could it be Pa’s or was it brother Jed…anyway you get the idea and now here’s a picture to bring that point home. Brothers and Sisters should not fuck, and if they do, they need to abort, even if the welfare check doesn’t cover it, because trust me, the baby will end up like this.
You know when your life hits rock bottom, your wife cheats on you with your best friend, the bank comes after you because you can’t make your credit card payments, immigration is on your fucking ass, they’ve almost tracked down where you are working under the table and where you live and motherfucker’s are knocking on your door. Have you hit rock bottom? Have you turned to the bottle, even though you were already on the bottle, and the bottle’s not taking away your pain? Where do you go from here. Well it seems like I have hit rock bottom, I’ve come to bring you posts and motherfucker’s have shut down my image hosting. Life is a mess, this is worse than having to fuck my wife after goin out for Mexican food, this is better than the time I got busted for selling acid to minors. You all heard about the guy who would give out “stickers” to little kids on the playground and how those stickers were actually acid, well that motherfucker was me. Now you know.
I haven’t figured out an solution to this problem, but as a broke and lazy hurtbag it won’t be easy, but I will have something up sooner than later and it will be better than it is now.
It’s hotter than a Mexican Prison during a gangbang in this motherfucker. The heat makes me lazy, as it does for most self-respecting Mexicans. So if anyone asks I am on vacation and if you never want to come back, I will always remember than night in Denver.
Keep in mind that it’s not the end of an era, it’s just the beginning.
And in the meantime check out the Emma Bunton See-Through, Uma Thurman in a Bikini, Pink picking a wedgie, Petra Nemcova on the runway topless. Also check out the fleshlight discussion board and LPSG….and as many amateur porn sites that you can, but most importantly send me in naked pics of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never actually had a girlfriend….but fucking pretend. Your sex life is embarassing.
So here’s the nipple picture all you motherfuckers have been looking for, I am not about to write a commentary on how nice nipples are to suck on, or how cool it is to not wear a bra, because no one really cares. I am also not going to write about how Mariah is a crackhead, her sister’s an official whore and how I have always thought she looked like a man. I am not going to use the word “wardrobe malfunction”, because I feel it is a term much like metrosexual, something I would never say because the losers in mainstream media coined it, and there is nothing cool about mainstream media, except for the anchor women, it’s nice to see how nicely women have integrated their species into society….that’s my post for the day…fuck you.
I was talking to this 15 year old whore the other day while at the local pool. I like to go check out the scene, it’s summer and bathing suits make me happy. Anyway, this 15 year old bitch was rocking a one-piece bathing suit that her rich mom paid 400 dollars for. I don’t have a problem spending that kind of money on a bathing suit, if you’ve got it and the suit makes you look good, but I will admit I was a little under-dressed in my soiled jogging pant cut-offs. Anyway this 15 year old girl was telling me why she doesn’t wear bikinis, she claims that they are old news, I figure, what the fuck do I know, I like hot tits and a hot body, so the less it’s covered the better. I guess Kelly Clarkson, your American idol felt the same way, only today forgot to change out of it before her performance (if you can call it that). Bitch was like I will just throw on a pair of jeans and a bra and I look good. It’s not really something to freak out about, just remember she’s from Texas and it all makes sense. Point of this post is to say, I know this shit’s a stupid body suit, I did live through the 90s, sometimes surprised that I did, but I still saw my fair share – the one-piece bathing suit story was just to get you jealous that I know 15 year olds, you sick fuck. None of this changes the fact that Kelly Clarkson is a fat pig who should keep eating her bison burgers (the meat’s leaner)
I like how people like to date people of the same socio-economic class as them, it helps the relationship because you understand each other. In this case you know what it’s like to be disgustingly rich, capable of doing whatever it is that you want at anytime, without any questions asked. Mary Kate’s dating a Greek-Shipping heir, they are the hottest accessory in Hollywood. It doesn’t really matter, I don’t want to come across bitter of their situations, because I am not. I am jealous of their size difference, only because he seems like a massive greek man, and she looks like a tiny alien on a mission to take geological samples back to her home planet, not to mention that as a greek man he digs ass sex, and as an alien – she has no genitals…it’s a sad case of affairs, I guess I can relate to MK, I always feel guilty when I can’t get it up for my wife….not because she doesn’t have genitals (she has plenty of those) but because I can’t deliver what she needs. She’s fucking huge dude, if you saw her, you’ understand
After the jump Mary Kate desperate for Friends (like you)
Hair is the new bald, we established this a long time ago, and all you stripper bitches freaked out on me, telling me that I am disgusting for supporting the bush and that’s bald’s the only way to go, well fuck you, I have never been one to complain about a bald pussy, I was just telling you that hair is in so thank me later, when you’re rockin a 70s bush and everyone’s loving you for it. I guess the bikini wax is not about to go away, cuz even if hair is in, no one wants to see it crawling down your thigh….so maintenance I guess is key. This whole post was basically about nothing, hair or no hair you still want to watch this bikini waxing video.
I don’t know what Ashlee’s doing, she’s taken the ugly 80s being cool thing to heart. I guess she missed the memo that 80s are not the 90s, she was probably at the doctor dealing with her acid reflux which is cool and I can relate. I am overweight and 35, acid reflux is our disease that isn’t a disease and I take offense to her trying to bite my motherfucking rhyme. So anyway, bitch is rocking the outfit she stole from the bitch who played Six on Blossom, and although she was the first pre-teen i remember having tits on TV, she’s not someone you want to emulate…those were the dark years, 1991, I was living on a bench rockin the pipe and fucking inuit whores, but shit, when I always made it to a TV to watch Blossom.
It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.
You know him as Spock from Star Trek, as you should, considering you haven’t really done anything on social since the last convention, you’re an internet geek, and we wouldn’t want you to change your ways. There is nothing wrong with living with your mom, until she dies and never tasting pussy. Just be happy you will always have the re-runs. The good thing about Spock is that he’s moved from Star Trek and now takes pictures of naked fat girls, take his lead motherfucker. I am a little offended that he didn’t ask me to get my wife to model for him, but I guess she’s just too fat…discrimination comes from all angles.
Speaking of Fat check out Playette, she’s a whore.
It’s hotter than a Mexican Prison during a gangbang in this motherfucker. The heat makes me lazy, as it does for most self-respecting Mexicans. So if anyone asks I am on vacation and if you never want to come back, I will always remember than night in Denver. 
