The girls grew up on this show despite the hours I spent fighting with them over it. I learned to just sit back and take it. I figured it was my responsibility to buy a second TV, but that meant sacrificing booze for a month, something I wouldn’t do. So I did what every self respecting man does, I sat back and got wasted while watching Caroline Rhea’s fatty tits bounce around. I know when I was in my early 20s this wouldn’t have been my dream friday night, but life sucks, I just learnt to accept it, with Sabrina the Teenage witch and a bottle of Jack….Anyway, I always thought Sabrina was busted with her chubby awkward body and face that look like the disgusting 14 pound shit I just took…I am not healthy. I don’t know if it was actually 14 pounds, but it was some next level shit. Point of the story is that Sabrina the Teenage Witch is fat.
I am going to say something politically incorrect which is something I try not to do very often….I am giving you this warning so that you know, that I know what I am about to say is something uptight people will take offense to. I got nothing against uptight people, they are the people that keep society in order, if everyone was like me, we’d have complete fucking chaos. I am not saying that because I think I am “Hard” or fucking “Crazy”, I am saying that cuz I am lazy, I don’t leave my house, and I get nervous when people talk to me. That said, Naomi Campbell is the second nigger bitch to hit the scene and make people like me think black girls don’t all look like Aunt Jamima. Black girls everywhere should be thanking her for helping develop the black fetish. I have one friend who only fucks black chicks, which isn’t saying much, because my friends are garbage, I have another friend who slammed a bitch with pussy cancer yesterday. These are pics of Naomi Campbell getting arrested for assaulting her assistant with a cell phone. If I had an assistant, I’d be getting arrested for assuaulting her with my dick….
So I get one TV channel, and that TV channel happens to have the Canadian rights to American Idol. I also have one shitty TV and two step-daughters, who watch American Idol. I am usually drunk on the couch by 8 pm, so I watch it. The reason I am drunk at 8 pm is cuz I start drinking around now. The point of the post is to say Kellie Pickler is jokes. She can barely sing, she looks good enough, she’s white trash and poor, has a daddy in jail and a momma dead, a sick grandaddy and bitch doesn’t know what calamars is….I am a fucking drunken, useless mexican piece of shit…and I know what calamars is….anyway these are her highschool prom pics, dressed like some kind of slut, I guess she’s lucky Idol hit, cuz the rest of the girls in her town are already knocked up and ready to drop….poor bitches don’t like to wait too long after their 16th birthday before having babies. That’s my story that’s not really a story. I am useless right now.
I am not a porn site. I have defended myself over over again, and for some reason it’s always the same people who hate on me. These people are usually Jewish and Virgins and scared of the word FUCK or CUNT. I do however visit porn sites because I like watching girls get fucked, and by fucked I mean with penis, with toes, with mouth or by their fucking self. When I look for porn I use Booble.com, it’s a search engine that was bought by AOL, for more info click the link.
New York, April 1, 2006 – Time Warner (NYSE TW) announced today it was spinning off its AOL Online subsidiary in an all stock transaction with privately held Booble.com. Booble founder and CEO, Bob Smart will take the reins of the combined company, which will henceforth be known as AOOL.
I don’t care about business movers and shakers, but when mainstream goes to porn, it gives us more hope here at Stepfather, and by we I mean me. Cuddles.
I wouldn’t normally post this cuz it’s not all that funny, except that the Jew behind the camera is freaking out about 6 dollars. The reason this is tagged step TV, is because that Jew is Steve’s partner in Step TV. So this is no official Step TV segment, because it was shot on a digital camera, but I am putting it up as one to piss Steve and his 15 year old girl voice off.
I spent some time on the street, and I don’t really remember all the crazy shit that went down, I mean, I was really only officially homeless a month one summer, and I got myself arrested and dropped in a halfway house before things got too crazy, I am a pussy homeless guy but then time I spent out there, I met some lifer homeless people, the fucking nutcases who eat their own shit and turn on a fuckin’ dime…one minute laughing the next trying to rape you…anyway….homeless people are always fuckin’ jokes. Watch the clip and laugh when the homeless guy makes fun of the Jew’s speech impedement….speech therapy from a Jamican drunk covered in snot…
A few years ago, I used to work in a Drug Store. I was the stock clerk. Meaning I was pretty much the underpaid bitch who helped old ladies bring their bags to their cars for a quarter, I also got to stock the shelves, and use the price gun, but only when they trusted me enough to…it was like some stock clerk hierarchy….and my boss took his useless job too fucking seriously. I understand, people need to feel important/proud of what they do, otherwise there is no point living. Truth is when you are a career stockclerk, there really is no point in living.
Point of my story is there was once a Turkish Muslim cab driver who came into the store and we started chatting about sex. He told me that when he was 16 he couldn’t fuck girls or jerk off cuz of his religion. So he would get together with his boys and fuck the shit out of one of their dogs. He was laughing because one of his friends got stuck in the dog when it was his turn. Fucking Kelly Osborne would probably the equivalent of this muslim tradition, only in the Kelly Osborne version they’d be fucking a pig, even though that’s against their religion. I don’t think fucking a dog or a pig is right, I am just telling you the fucking story he told me to bring the point home that Kelly is a fucking ditch-pig, and she should stand up proud, that slouching slag.
I want to point out that I don’t judge Paris for having Herpes. I read a long time ago that it was finally out in the open and I decided that when she officially came out with her STD, I would stop rippin’ into her dried up diseased cooch. The reason being that it is funny to laugh at people who put themselves at risk of STDs, like having unprotected sex with dirtbags like the dude in her sex tape. I don’t think it’s funny to laugh at people who actually land the disease, ultimately because the jokes on them…for the rest of their life, they’ll be tending to that shit, and we can all laugh to ourselves.
That said. This bitch is all over the fucking place lately, there are pics of her in LA yesterday, these are pics of her in Miami 4 days ago, and I even saw pics of her filming for Simple Life, god fuckin’ knows where. I have enough trouble leaving my house and walking to the store to buy a coffee sometimes I have to see doctors, therapists, immigration people and it’s a fucking struggle. I guess there’s nothing funny in that. It’s just sad…but sad is the new happy, go fuck yourself.
Steve sent me this clip from the same night as the Jersey Girls are Whores. It isn’t as funny, but figured I’d post it here because I have been getting non-stop emails about how much I suck lately, if you already think I suck, there’s no real loss in posting this…not that your opnions change anything in what I do. This isn’t the first time in my life that people think I am worthless….I actually think it’s the first thing my mother told me, when I was fresh out of the womb. She even told me that her breast milk was too good for me, and she’d throw me a fucking old bone to suck the cartlidge out of….I was also told I was worthless after my mom died, it happened when I was still in Mexico at the orphanage and I was too lazy to join the wrestiling team…the wrestling priest threw a clay brick and my head and called me worthless. It happened again in Texas by the bible thumping foster parents who “saved my soul for a heathen existance”, so I started doing drugs and fucking ugly chicks….it has happened over and over again by people far more imortant than you….now watch the fucking clip and shut the fuck up about how much dick I suck, because if you’re lucky, it could one day be yours, you fucking faggots. These girls are not from Jersey and Steve molests them with his mic….it is not possible to say that’s boring…
Her name is Dolores de Muela, she is a burlesque dancer or some shit at some wrestling ring, where chicks fight and dance…. I like burlesque dancers and circus freaks and carnivals. I saw this trend coming years ago, I knew it would be popular because I am an unofficial trendspotter, but that’s not the point, the point is this burlesque dancing mexican vixen messaged me on myspace saying:
i looooooooove your site. I was turned on to it a year and a half ago when I interned at ET. Everyone in the news room adores it
UPDATE: when i was interning at the ET news room I was always sent to run things to the studio. Twice I had to run over some ex-lax to paula abdul. It was a great internship. I learned a lot.
I don’t know what ET she’s talking about, but if it is Entertainment Tonight, I want to call those newsroom cocksuckers out and get them to plug me on their show. I have always had a thing for Mary Hart, and I always wanted to titty fuck her legs, until recent years, when she got fat, but I’d still do it….because sometimes fantasies never die. Say something like “According to DrunkenStepfather.com Lindsay Lohan Has Aids” or something…..
Back to my Burlesque myspace girlfriend, who I love and want to book to perform at the StepPARTY then impregnate her when she’s not looking, by cumming on her costume or something cuz she’d never sleep with me….dude, I am witnessing myself crash and burn…so read her story, it’s time for me to stop.
My father (god rest his soul) was the head captain of the best shrimp boat in Guadalajara. One Monday he cast his net and caught an astonishing 820 pounds of tiger shrimp. As he was empting out his net he looked down and noticed a beautiful sparkly shrimp. His eyes met her beady little eyes and his lips were magically drawn to her wet little antennas. It was shrimpy love at first sight! Days later the little shrimp became pregnant with me and my 1,999 little sisters. Unfortunately, the 1,999 others did not survive delivery. Ashamed and despaired they eloped and joined “Manuelito’s Fabuloso Circo de Pulgas” (Manuel’s Fabulous Flea Circus). For only in the circus were people kind, accepting, and willing to shell out big bucks to look at us. My family and I traveled the world as, “The man who married a shrimp and their lovechild”. I spent my mid-late-teen years performing and dancing shrimpily to audiences of all ages. Since my mother lived in a glass bowl on a shelf… I looked to strippers and trapeze artists for motherly advice. It was from them where, I learned how to shimmy, shake, and get down.
I don’t know how I feel about naked 50 year old bitches, even if they look good for 50, they are still 50. Do you realize how many yeast infections, pairs of underwear, cocks, mouths that pussy has seen?? I can only assume that it’s more than someone who is 30, at least that’s my theory, and my theories don’t need to make sense, because I am writing this and you aren’t.
Start your own blog asshole. Apparantly, my telling my readers to fuck off is getting boring a repetitive, I only say it cuz I mean it. I know expressing yourself can get boring fast, that’s why I don’t let people talk to me about their feelings… so if I bore you, leave because I got bigger issues to deal with with, like Sharon Stone showing up at Letterman last night, with her jacket inside out, but leaves with it done up right. I am guessing she’s protecting herself from the Fur Hater people, who are fucking annoying hippy assholes. I don’t wear fur, but I still hate them, and anyone else who’s trying to fight a useless cause. Chinchillas are happier being an expensive coat that useless rat-like animal that does nothing. Let people like Sharon Stone and her dried up pussy show up somewhere without having to wear a $5,000 jacket inside out….because this bitch could own your NYU ass…
I used to do a feature called Sexual Restraint of the Day, it was never very popular, and I don’t think they ever got a single comment on them, so doing one today just felt right. I can relate to the underdog. I don’t have any fetishes because I am too busy sitting on my couch to think about things that turn me on, but if I wasn’t a fat lazy impotent piece of shit, I would be down with Medical Restraints. It’s for the EMS worker in all of us, you know first to the scene of the accident kind of thing…wipe off the blood and get to work kind of thing, strap a bitch down rip off her shirt and give her CPR kind of thing, stick it inside her on the way to the hospital cuz there’s just enough time to get off kind of thing. There is nothing really wrong with doing that, you saved her life, if it wasn’t for you she’d be dead, so you kind of own her and let’s face it, she can’t really say no anyway.
My suggestion for you is to introduce this shit on your first date, the bitch won’t think you’re strange, and if she asks you to drive her home, immediately, you know what to do, (slam your car into a tree) and remember you can always get a new car…and you have the perfect opportunity to use the brace. I think you were a perfect gentleman, you gave her to the option to participate in your game voluntarily, it’s her fault for not cooperating.
Wow, this post should make everyone think I am a sexual predator, it’s funny how easy that was to do.
Cervical Collar and Spine Immobilizer
This is a medical head and spinal immobilizer system. It comes with a large 4 1/4 inch high Cervical Collar and a spine immobilizer unit that is designed to fit with the cervical collar. No cervical collar alone provides sufficient immobilization. The body immobilizer applies support for the cervical spine. Velcro wrist restraints are provided to keep hands restrained at chest area. This is a very restrictive, impressive device. Comes complete with instruction manual.
Kate Moss is hot. I got no issues with her doing cocaine, she’s a fucking model, what the hell else is she supposed to do to stay entertained. She has all kinds of money, works minimally, looks good, let the bitch have her vice or two of choice. I do have issues with hipsters, strippers and rich kids doing coke, and I will explain. Hipsters are poor, they look homeless, they like to be seen at the hip spots, and go home for the Cocaine After Party, or frequent the bathroom all night as a group, to rip lines or keys, and it’s a fucking cliche. I hate cliches. If you are a hipster, you should be doing prescription pills, and not telling any of your friends, because you will get way more fucked up then them, and it won’t be advertised on a billboard, no one will expect it, and you will be the coolest hipster at the fucking party, even when you can’t formulate a sentence, you eyes glaze over and you start convulsing…they are presciptions, clinically tested, it’s not like you can overdose. As for strippers, same shit, they are supposed to do coke, so when you meet a stripper who does coke, it’s just boring and typical. I believe strippers should do meth, because they are trashy, disgusting in daylight, and get naked for money, so need the energy. I am sure there are plenty of strippers on Meth, but I just want it to be the industry standard drug. As for Rich Kids, they are just crying for attention, because they were raised by the nanny and given a credit card at the age of 15. I feel sad for people who create problems because they are spoiled, it’s like an adult version of a hissy fit. Rich kids should go to school, get good jobs and keep society working……
Anyway, enough of that shit…I love Kate moss, and I love the paparazzi she’s tripping over.
Steve sent this to me, asked me to post it. I can only assume he’s got a thing for grey haired dudes playing with balls, it probably has something to do with a lack of attention he got in elementary school from the gym teacher. All the other boys were invited to the after class shower, and poor steve was left out. Ever since then….he’s never looked at a grey haired man who plays with balls quite the same….anyway, it’s a cool juggling routine, I guess, if juggling is your thing and you are into sychronized choreographed juggling dance routines. I think the real joke behind this post is that the guy juggling is a comedian and we all know he either learned how to juggle to make money on busking the street or in the subway stations to be able to afford the luxuries in life like a can of tomato soup and saltines on his road to stardom, if stardom to you means a perfomance on Jay Leno….or he learned how to juggle because he’s a comedian and they have a lot of spare time, you know contributing nothing to society takes little effort. I just watched the clip. I have enough trouble walking up my stairs without passing out, I don’t understand how this motherfucker’s doing this.
I have put way too much effort into this juggling post…thanks Steve, you prick, no one cares about juggling…
They were all over each other all of last year, and it got boring fast. No one wants to watch people that are so in love with each other that they need to kiss on the lips and hug 1000 times a day. It makes you look like your parents never breast fed you or loved you when you were growing up you skinny slag. It makes you look like you need constant approval and like you are nothing more than an insecure slag. I wouldn’t normally call somone a slag, that’s not my style, but I feel for AM…the rest his life he’s gonna be forced to fuck the pussy that Steve O was inside. Now, I got nothing against Steve 0, he’s insane and does funny things, but if real celebrities don’t use condoms, and Steve O’s has obviously had some nasty “on the road pussy”. I feel like I can relate to AM’s situation, not because my girl cheated on me, people die cuz of that shit but there was this one chick….
This was YEARS AGO, I’m talking ’92 or someshit. So, I’m dating this girl and she’s not letting me in her pants, it was before I hit rock bottom and had a little respect. So I wined her and dined her a bit. She was hot, smart, going places, pretty much the hottest and cleanest white pussy I ever tasted, at least that’s what I thought. The night we were supposed to finally slam, the bitch drops a bomb that she’s only fucked 3 people in her life, which is fine with me, I don’t give a fuck at this point in time if this bitch had been with 200 dudes at once, 2 hours earlier, and hadn’t had a chance to shower, I’d still go down on her for an hour….anyway she finishes her story by telling me all 3 of the guys were black, and that I’d be her first non-black lover. So I did what any self respecting person would do, I got the fuck out of there as fast as I could, pulled a whack in my car and never spoke to the bitch again. It’s got nothing to do with being racist, this was 1992, 13 years before Grey’s Anatomy.
Box was launched a while ago. I am sure I have the post on it somewhere in my archives, but I am a bad blogger, and I don’t believe I should go through you with my previous garbage…it’s been done, get over it. Anyway it’s some sex, art, photography, pdf/internet based magazine, designed to open our minds up to sex or some other bullshit crafted by 2 fags a dyke and some bi-sexual, that part is actually a lie. I have no idea who started this up, but I do get annoyed when people take sex too seriously and treat it like an actual news topic. Get over yourself, no one cares.
I don’t read the articles, but I am sure they are entertaining enough. These pics are ripped off from their fetish dictionary, the photo version….I would go on about my fetishes, but I am sure you’re bored of my banter….Don’t worry, I hate you too.
Check Out Box-Mag Here (the rest of the fetish pics can be found there, since that’s where they were ripped off from, but they can’t complain, because I am promoting them, you’re welcome)
