I decided that the Lohan Stalker Post was funny. I think it may get me arrested, on TV or something equally fantastic. No matter what, Lohan will know who I am and that will better my chances in having her fall in love with me, because I am that good at wooing the ladies, as you can tell by my huge female audience of 1 chick who landed on the site researching Post Traumatic Stress from being molested by your alcoholic stepfather. I’d like to thank google for that.

Anyway, in today’s Lohan Stalker post I emailed Lorne Michaels, the founder of SNL. I don’t expect a reply, but it definitely was his email. One step closer to destiny.

Dear Lorne,

My name is Jesus Martinez and I am writing from DrunkenStepfather.com. I know that Lohan was on your show last week and I was curious if she may have left some kleenex, used panties, maybe a tampon or a used condom in her dressing room. I’d really love if you could send that my way for my collection.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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