I have had limited experience with Ass Shelves in my life, because most of the women I have got with have been on either end of the spectrum. Meaning that there have been a handful of obese bitches like my wife who’s riding in at about 300 lbs and a bunch of bitches who were emaciated from malnourishment and drug addiction. I have rarely been involved with a healthy bitch with a solid waist to hip ratio or a booty, or a clear complexion, because when you’re a fat whore your potential booty gets burried under layers and layers of disgustingness and if you are a walking corpse your tits and ass kinda just hang off your body along with your uterus and other vital organs. I did get a lap dance from a bitch with an ass that doubled as a shelf once, but that doesn’t count because that shit wasn’t free. There was also a Brazilian girl who I remember being obsessed with a couple years ago. She was 18 and would frequent some local dive I’d spend my paychecks at. She would run around in spandex pants, before spandex was American Apparel Approved, and I would just watch her get chatted up by the college kids who also frequented this bar. The liquor was cheap and I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to chat her up at the time. That’s not to say I woulda ever fucked her, I am a married man, but I would have invited her over pool parties. She’s probably get pissed off when realizing that my one bedroom apartment doesn’t have a pool, but that’s when the rope, duct tape and ether come into play to start the party up my way.

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