I posted on David Beckham’s Mistress Yesterday Now I will Post His Wife: I don’t really give a fuck about UK celebrities, or any celebrities for that matter, I post this shit to get traffic, but there’s something about Posh spice that I can’t get enough of. I think it’s funny to see a Spice Girl 6 years after I used to rub one out to the “I tell you what I want, What I really really want” Video. That was before the fat wife and before the impotency. Speaking of not fucking your wife, this bitch married a homosexual to help cover-up his homosexuality, had his babies through artificial insemination because gays are scared of babies and box, in exchange for fame and fortune and a life of luxury that will last much longer than her SpiceMoney. The arrogance in her strut proves that she knows she will never have to pretend to sing shitty songs again and all she has to do for work is help some national soccer hero keep up appearance.

I know everyone out there rips into bitch for being a skeleton or an alien and I am sure lame bloggers like Trerez Pinkilton is the New I Take It Up the Ass Raw Dog While on a Crystal Meth Binge have some lame nickname for her like they Brangelina, Vaughiston and Bennifer but I am out of the loop on gay celebrity blogger cliches. So I’ll just call her sunshine face of love.

Speaking of terms of endearment, this is the myspace message I’ve been sending out to girls lately:

Body: Dear ___________,
You’re ___________ to me–there’s no one quite like you. You’re the one I _____, the one I want to ________. I give you my _______, and I ________ you so much. Give me your sweet _________; fill me with your wonderful _______; soothe my aching _______; and _______ me through the night. The mere sound of your voice summons deep ________ within Like an old familiar ________ like the comfort of a _______. When you’re near, I’m lost to thoughts of ______ as you touch me with a _______ that’s as grand as stars above. I want to hold your _____. I hunger for your ______. Offer me sweet tidings of true love’s tender bliss. I promise our _______ shall _____, carried on the wings of a ______. So give me your _______, and bless me with your _____.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

It hasn’t been getting any responses….

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