I am – Shakira Trying to Rock Out of the Day
I was just watching episodes of Degrassi the Next generation, I know you have this shit in the USA. It’s talent show day and I just saw the cunt who looks like a elf do some kind of experimental dance. Now there’s a fat girl and some hooker looking girl in a glittery shirt singing and dancing a fool. The point of all this is to say that I would rather see them perform than see Shakira rock a guitar. I don’t even know where the guitar entered her act, I remember when she couldn’t handle English, but seduced record execs by singing about her breasts, while giving them her freshly farmed family cocaine. She was a song and dance act.
Speaking of a song and dance act that introduced a guitar and ruined themself doing it, I bring you MUNG. He left some of the best comments on the site, I actually laughed at some of them and I never laugh, and he decided it was time to start posting. Unfortunatly, the posts aren’t as rockin’ as the comments once were…From now on, we call him Shakira.
Hi Jesus,
I have decided to let you write posts now because people say I should stick to writing comments instead of writing posts. I guess my dream of being a blogger on someone else’s website has been crushed by your readers. Tell them thanks a lot! As for my drug experiment, it actually went quite horribly. I hadn’t smoked hash oil in about ten years and I decided to smoke the entire vial to myself. After the fifth joint my eyes began shutting and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas began feeling like real life…then I snapped out of my drug enhanced state and realized I wasn’t a nigger with a gun who could steal cars, pick up prostitutes, fuck them, beat them with a purple dildo until they were bleeding out every orifice of their body, and then take my money back. It sure would be a lot cooler if my life was like that and I wasn’t an overweight, balding, unemployed loser who lives in his parents basement and smokes hash oil and tells people he has never met about his experience doing it. After about 9 hours of playing PS2 I decided to shut it down @ 5:30 AM and I went to bed. I didn’t get up until 4:00PM the next day and I felt unmotivated to do anything. I was hungry but didn’t have the energy to peel my face off the pillow on my couch.
I guess I would have to say my experience with hash oil was pretty brutal. It made me feel like my life was more worthless than usual. Now I owe Patterson 20 bucks. I probably won’t pay him. He usually forgets about the people he spots anyways. Now I have to find a new drug to try this Friday. Someone by the name of drphilgood mentioned cat tranquilizers. I think it might be a good idea. Oh well, I thought I would let you know how it went. Nobody seems to care about this shit anyways but you will post it because I know you have nothing better to write and talk about because your life is just as hideous as mine.
Now go fuck off,
MUNG
