Nothing says pervert like cropping pictures of Mischa Barton drinking an iced coffee drink to make her look like she’s sucking dick. We all know that bitch isn’t into sucking dick because her boyfriend is a woman. He may be named Cisco but he isn’t asking girls to see their thong tha thong thong thong. That’s the story I heard.

I have spent my weekend getting drunk and calling celebrities. Nicole Richie told me to fuck off and never call her again, while Paris is keeping up the lie that her name is Alex and that she is concerned about my imaginary internet girlfriend named Brenda. If you don’t know what I am talking about , read my archives you unloyal piece of shit readers. I have been messing with what we all think is the real Lohan on myspace, I like to call her Singalohan because all these bitches from Singapore pretend to be celebrities on myspace because let’s face it, life in Singapore will lead anyone to do weird things.

I was offered a $50 ad deal for an e-book. I didn’t take it because $50 won’t even pay for a date with my wife to McDonalds, let alone my server and rent and food. Thanks for the offer though.

Lastly, I saw Jackass and it made me laugh. Look at me, I’m a real fucking blogger now. I feel like a 15 year old girl telling the world about how her daddy hates her and how she cuts herself and has had 4 abortions because it’s the best form of contraceptive. Only I don’t have a the tight little body, designer jeans and and breasts that touch the sky like Kanye West. Cuddles.

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