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I am – Britney Spears at Forty Deuce on Monday Night of the Day

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Here are some pictures that were sent in yesterday by one of my readers. I assume he is the one who took the pics because they are shitty cellphone quality, but then I remembered that my readers are useless virgins who don’t really leave the house, unless it’s to go buy new computer parts or videogames….with the occasional stop off at McDonald’s for a Milkshake. Rumor has it that they bring all the boys to the yard…

Speaking of boys in the yard, I went down to my mailbox yesterday afternoon to see if anyone sent me any Christmas cards that would bring me Christmas Cheer in this time of Christmas Miracles, and there were none, but there was a Christmas Miracle that came in the form of a check for 27 dollars addressed to me. I am not sure where it came from, I can only assume it was from one of the porn companies I linked but I did know that it was going to fund my Stepfather Christmas party, even though I don’t have a company, just a shitty website that only I work for….The reason I decided to have a Christmas party was to celebrate the victory of this site while getting wasted, but my 27 dollar budget wasn’t going to take me as far as other Christmas parties do, like sipping vintage whiskey with my boss while he’s getting a blowjob from the hot new sales rep. So I bought 2 cheap bottles of wine for drinks, a box of donuts for food and a cheap cigar for entertainment. I sat on a park bench in the cold alone, passed out half way through the second bottle and woke up to find 2 homeless guys drinking my wine and eating my donuts…I tried to get them to sing Christmas Carols with me, but they were too insane to understand what I was saying, so I went home to my wife who stank like shit. It may not have been as glamorous as it could have been but it was a fucking Christmas Miracle nevertheless and I can only hope it gets better from here…


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