I should do sit-ups. Then people will like me. My washboard abs and thick legs will make you want to be my friend and will make girls want to eat out my ass like I was Brooke Hogan. That’s the attitude she had and look at her now. She cut the ice cream out of her diet and cut the rippling muscles on her back, trying to be a sex symbol all while looking more and more like her dad. It’s working, because she may not have style, personality or talent…but she’s got her dad’s trashy genes and a set of his Hulkamania workout shorts and that’s all that matters to you.

Let’s face the facts here, Hulk Hogan was your first gay experience. Watching his oiled body and his rippling muscles when you were a kid was probably the gayest thing you’ve ever done in your life….watching him take hit after hit while walking away a hero…putting Macho Man Randy Savage and Andre the Giant to shame while wearing smaller panties than your mom…..Speaking of Andre the Giant, how fucking tall this this bitch….

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