There was this 45 year old I worked with who was a total dirtbag. She may have been an alcoholic or drug addict, but I can’t hold a job long enough to get comfortable enough to take a shit in the office, so I’d never know. After one company party I somehow got myself invited to, I started up my game, you know talking to her about how I wanted to see her crawl around on all fours in a mini skirt before ravaging her ass, you know light sexual harassment to see if she’d be into it. Somehow I got her enough drinks to get myself back at her place where she proceeded to crawl around on all fours. I directed her by telling her to take off her panties, at which point she turned to me and told me to fuck her. I couldn’t get it up and it was a low point in my sexual career, but I think it fucked her head up more than mine. Three minutes after realizing I couldn’t do what she wanted me to do, she started dancing around the room telling me to take it all in because I’d never see it again. That monday I was fired and that was the end of that. The lesson to learn in this story is to not get hard when a girl is drunk and horny because it will do more damage to her ego than to yours…at least that the way it worked for me.

Speaking of 45 year olds, here are some pics of Uma Thurman’s Tits in a bathing suit, because they are big and I know that big tits is why I have traffic.

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