I figured that Mary Kate Olsen would have no choice but to date a dude who wears skinny jeans, because guys in skinny jeans aren’t really into chicks, they are more into other skinny things, like girls who look like boys.

I was at a party a while ago and I was the oldest motherfucker there. It happens, especially when the only people who invite me to parties are my stepdaughter’s friends. Anyway, there was a group of guys who were with really skinny looking girls with stupid emo hair and tight girl jeans and a pair of dainty slip on shoes that look like something a 7 year old girl would wear. I thought to myself that everyone wants to be Mick Jagger or someshit, you know like an effeminate look that chicks dig because they think you’re a fucking artist but about 3 hours into the party I came across the group of guys in a 3-way fucking kiss while their girlfriends sat on the sidelines and watched. Now I know that I will never be 100 percent comfortable with gay shit. I always get an uncomfortable feeling when dudes start making out in front of me. I don’t know why, I always thought that it was because I kinda hate it, but fags seem to think it’s because I secretly like it. I can handle the criticism because I have never jerked off to gay porn or fooled around with a dude, however these motherfuckers in skinny jeans had and that to me is enough to prove my theory that Mary Kate’s boyfriend is into young skinny boys and bitch kinda fits that profile….at least this way he doesn’t have to come out to daddy and if he marries in, he’s set for life. The one aspect of K-Fed’s style that is worth biting….

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