I offended some dude locally for asking his girlfriend for before and after her baby box shots. This was over a year ago and he still hasn’t got over it. At the time I sent it, it was just a random message to a random person I didn’t know. I used to send out the myspace message of the day to as many people as I could to get the word on the site out. He didn’t realize that it was a mass message and developed a hate for me. What I didn’t understand is that he had left a comment on her myspace saying “I bet you wish you got the abortion”, leading me to believe she had some twisted sense of humor and could handle before and after baby box shot requests. I was wrong. Dude want’s to physically hurt me for an internet comment, and he knows people I know, so one day soon, I may get jumped from behind for something I typed. I always thought that I’d get a stalker, or that someone would get so offended by something I said that they would come kill me because there are a lot of freakshows out there, but I never actually thought someone would want me dead for something I type. I guess that’s the power of the internet, I find the whole thing very embarrassing.
Here are my links.
These Are Some Paula Abdul Very Drunk Clips From Her New Reality Show. Insane. GO
So I was at the drug store buying some hemorrhoid cream for my wife. I wish she was one of those hollywood type that uses the shit on the bags under her eyes, but no, I landed myself a woman with asshole problems. She’s gone to the doctor about it a few times and she blames her pregnancy almost 18 years ago on her asshole problems, but reality is that bitch eats like shit, is insanely overweight and takes the longest shits ever.
I used to live with a guy who made a ritual out of shitting. He would get his porn magazine, or book, or whatever he was in the mood to read, he’d bring his weed and papers and a pack of cigarettes to role a joint and smoke while shitting, sometimes he’d bring a can of coke or bag of chips and he’d spend the afternoon in the bathroom shitting. He called it his alone time like he was a middle aged man who’s only escape from his wife and kids is when he shits. Either way, my wife puts him to shame and unlike him, she’s not hovering over her shit doing a crossword puzzle and drinking a cocktail, she is actually there trying to empty out her fucking ass womb.
Either way, she has hemorrhoids and I had to go to the drug store to get the meds and saw the tabloids and since I write this site, I notice the tabloids and they were all praising Jessica Simpson for her recent drop in 20 lbs over the last 2 months. What they didn’t praise was John Mayer for dumping her fat ass making her forced to work out to get back into the dating scene in hopes of making him kick himself in the ass for dropping such a prized piece of ass while he’s fucking some smokin’ hot local chick in every town he tours because they think he’s some kind of god.
I don’t know if that came across like it sounded when I said it, but here are Jessica Simpson’s rockin’ tits, slimmer body and all that bullshit you like.
I figure that a lot of you fuckers like sports because otherwise athletes wouldn’t be making millions of dollars. If the whole world worked the way I work, then strippers would be the main attraction at arenas and these bitches would be makin way more money than Hollywood Stars and people in sports combined, but I guess that doesn’t really matter to you.
What does matter is that as long as there is a sport that allows women to maintain some level of sex appeal, whether it be by not being bulky as fuck, whether it be by not being lesbionic as fuck, whether it be not having cocks taped to the inside of their legs because they are really dudes trying to excel like in every shitty cliche movie, then I am all for posting pictures of the girls involved bending over, showing their asses, wearing little tight shorts and rockin’ camel toe.
These are pictures of Sharapova, a girl you all want to throw a ball at, but you’re ball would be attached to your dick and your game would last a lot less that a normal match she’s used to because you have premature ejaculation issues and vaginas are like to forbidden fruit you’ve never seen so you’d get overwhelmed with the hole thing and blow it.
I snuck into the professional ladies tennis match that happens here every 2 years last year and I couldn’t really follow the game, their squeals distracted me, on my way out I say Sharapova in person, she’s really not that hot, sorry to break it to you, but she’s a pro athlete and she may look good compared to the people she is up against like the Williams sisters, but that’s like saying my gonorrhea discharge is sexy because it’s not herpes – ya heard?
These pictures were taken by photo agency FAME and they are of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked. Unfortunately the fuckers sold the picture to Life & Style magazine and the uncensored version hasn’t hit the internet yet. I emailed x17 asking them to send me the unedited version, which could have been a mistake since those fuckers hate me and sites like me and sue all of our asses as often as they have to to protect their really lucrative, yet sleazy business of taking pictures of celebrities naked. The reason I am posting these is in hopes that one of my 12 readers, that means you, works at this magazine and has a copy of the original.
I always was fascinated with pubic hair and pussy and always wanted to know what bitch is rockin’. I remember when I was in school I used to ask all the girls to tell me about their pubic hair. I’d want to know what color shit was, I wanted to know how shit was maintained, was it bald, was it rectangular, was it triangular, was it dealt with by using scissors, wax, Nair or a razor or was it full blown bush. I never got kicked out of school for sexual harassment, only because it was a different era, no one ever complained and the teachers were probably just as into the shit I was doing and the information i was trying to get as I was, that’s why they were highschool teachers and didn’t have real jobs.
If that happened today, I probably would have never finished the ninth grade. They would have kicked me out and sent me to therapy or an all boys school or some shit good thing they didn’t because an all boy’s school would have given me little information for my autobiography that I will never write that is going to be called Life as a Pervert.
Mom, is that you? I know that I am pretty slow moving today and that you’ve already left your shitty jobs to go home to spend you shitty weekend with your shitty friends and your shitty family and maybe if you’re lucky you’re shitty girlfriend will put out but reality is that you probably don’t have a shitty girlfriend you just have a shitty sex drive that isn’t shitty because it’s not raging, but shitty because you can’t do anything about it so that it hangs over your shitty head like a fucking demon you can’t get rid of because jerking off bored you and you already do it 3 times a day.
Rosie Perez was never a woman I wanted a piece of, I am only throwing this pictures up so you can see what aging does to a face as well as what it does to a set of big ol’ titties that are hanging so hard they are stretching the shit out of her skin leaving stretch marks, like a teenage girl who has grown up on genetically modified food who’ grew to a D-Cup overnight, only the opposite, because a teen with a new set of natural D’s is a beautiful thing, where as an older mexican slag with big fat tits hanging off her frame like an anorexic girl’s uterus hangs out of her box isn’t.
As the only mexican blogger, other than Perez, but he’s gay so he doesn’t count as a real person, I feel it’s my duty to properly represent my people. I know that won’t stop you from doing whatever it is you do to these pictures because you’re a pervert and these pics are the closest thing you can get to pussy.
So this is that meth-head Jodie Sweetin who was Stephanie Tanner on Full House when she was a kid. She always took the backseat to the Olsens and from the way I see it, she was just an accessory to making them billionaires, while leaving her in the corner hating herself so much, unable to get work and turning to smoking meth. Think about it, you’re on the same show as these cunts and they don’t even have a fucking talking role because they are still in diapers, but for some reason they still build a fucking empire out of it, while you just fizzle off into nowhere, living in your parents shitty house they bought with your money, your big tits and all, you’d be hurting too…
Reality is that her tits are so fucking stacked that there is no way she was ever really addicted to meth. The way she can barely fit into her jeans makes me think it was some E! True Hollywood lie to get her back into the public eye, land her some interviews on TV and in Magazines and give her the opportunity to show the world she’s still around and by still around I mean her massive tits. This Bitch is all big and bubbly and trying to make a comeback. all the meth addicts I’ve known have had ratty fucking skin, emaciated meth bodies, no tits, yellow meth eyes and have been shaky, speedy, itchy anxiety ridden. I don’t think there is anyway that this bitch was on meth, I think it’s a way to launch a K-Mart product line and series of children’s books.
Either way, she is at the opening of Retard Harry Morton’s restaurant/club called Pink Taco. He’s Lohan’s ex boyfriend, son of the owner of Hard Rock Cafe, Grandson of Morton’s Steakhouse and I am assuming that dude wasn’t inspired by Lohan when he came up with this fucking stupid name, because if he had the place would be called “The Big Spotted and Scabby Red Cunt That Smells Like Shit From Rotten Cum From Other Dudes She had Raw Dog Sex With and Let Drop Load in Her and a Tampon She Forgot in there a Month Ago when She Was Drunk”, I don’t think that would have been so good for business, but he’s a rich kid, he doesn’t need the business to make money, it’s just his dad’s way of giving him something to keep his son busy with…
That Lohan Vagina joke was probably pretty obvious, but I am hungover again and just trying to get through the day….
Other People in Attendance of His Big Opening:
Jessica Alba With Her Extreme Face Close-Up
Some Chick Named Nikki Griffin I want to See Naked
I ran into some people I know who spend some time in LA and they told me that DJ AM, the guy I call gayer than bicycle shorts on an almost weekly basis has told them that he hates me. When I heard that news, I was pretty happy because it means that my message is getting out there, even if it’s reaching lame fucking DJs who bang f-list celebrities who play bar mitzvah music and make way too much fucking money, enough to drive Lamborghinis.
I guess my next target should be Lohan, the day I find out she knows I exist will be better than today’s news.
Here are some pictures of Leelee Sobiesky’s big old tits at some black tie event wearing a bow tie like she’s a fucking clown at a kids party, or maybe even a Chip and Dale male stripper working horny bachelorettes and their horny single friends. I think that’s one of the things I love about women, they give us slack for going to strip clubs and being relatively tame, drinking our beer, trying to act on our best behavior in hopes of getting the strippers to fall in love with us, because we know we can provide them with a better life where they don’t have to get naked for dirty old me, or because we are the dirty old men but we don’t want them knowing we’re dirty old men because if they did they’d stay as far the fuck away from us as they could…But when girls go to strip clubs, they go fucking nuts. They get on stage, they lick whip cream off the dudes, they grab at them and become the whores we want them be in the bedroom, but we don’t get to benefit from it….
It’s like when you bring a hot chick home and she runs to the bathroom and all you can hear is her farting and shitting and stinking up your apartment. You try to think about how bad you wanted to eat her out because she’s so fucking stacked, but that was before hearing how bad her bowels wanted to get the fuck out of her. You fuck her anyway, because you’re desperate and pretend that you never heard her colon problems from the other room, but that shit keeps haunting you, and all you keep thinking to yourself is how such a hot piece of ass can make you so fucking sick to your stomach.
I guess that’s really not at all the same thing as Leelee Sobiesky taking her tits out to play in costume, but I’ll leave that story in anyway, because Leelee Sobiesky shits too.
I was just given free credits on a webcam site so I logged in to talk dirty to girls doing dirty things to themselves. The first room I went into was a tall blond girl in her lingerie who looked pretty fucking amazing. Just as I was typing “Stick a dildo in your ass like the whore you are”, she started to blow her nose into a Kleenex. I would have been okay with it if bitch hadn’t been so graphic in trying to clear out whatever was clogging up her nose. She was shoving her finger in the thing diggin’ for clams in front of a pocket mirror. I made me want to throw up so I didn’t end up wasting my free credits on her and that means I never saw her real clam.
She didn’t care that dudes are trying to jerk off to her. She didn’t care that dude’s have no interest in seeing that shit. It was probably her passive aggressive way of saying she doesn’t give a fuck about us or our needs, she just wants our money and until she gets our money she’s just going to sit there waiting like we’re not there and even if that means scratching her ass, blowing her nose, popping her pimples or doing her fucking laundry and any other disgusting habits she’s got, she’s going to do them.
Kimmy Stewart is a lot like this webcam whore, she walks around with her face out in the public making us all sick to our stomachs distracting us from her hot legs. If she was to walk around with a mask on, or a hood over her face, or a Muslim costume while showing off her legs, you’d think she was a hot piece of ass you’d want to fuck, instead we don’t have the chance to enjoy a good thing or wait for bitch takes off the mask, hood or Muslim costume to have all the dreams of cumming inside her wash away. She just puts it all out there…
So if you’re an ugly girl with hot legs, ass or tits don’t feel afraid to cover up your problem spots, even if it’s your face. If you’re a webcam whore, try not to do disgusting things when guys are watching you. I am just trying to help you get ahead.
So I don’t really watch sports ever because I am not a real man. I was asked if I was gay yesterday because i had my hand on a dude’s shoulder. I was drunk and trying to keep myself from falling but still didn’t take offense to the question. I know that real men don’t run sites like this because they are too busy doing construction but reality is that dudes don’t get me hard and never have. Unfortunately, either do women but that is because I have a medical problem, and I keep on trying.
In my life I never thought for a second that I was fag, I always was fascinated by pussy way too much, so much that I would rather watch a porn than watch a bunch of dudes in tights tackling each other. To me sports were pretty fuckin’ homo and even people who played sports were semi-homo too because to shower with a group of men while slapping their asses and thinking about gangbanging the cheerleaders never seemed 100 percent straight. So that said, I am okay with holding a dude’s shoulder, I am ok not watching sports and sticking to watching porn, I am okay with jocks thinking I am a pussy or a fag because I won’t shower with them but when sports become porn, I always make an effort to tune in…
These are some pictures from Wimbeldon of Girls Playing Tennis, and to me this shit is better than porno, bitches bend over, cry screams of pleasure like they are taking it up the ass, flash their tennis panties non-stop, tits flop everywhere, camel toes always happen, and that is why I like
spending my summers next to the local tennis courts…Enjoy.
I guess the shit I love about Pro Tennis though, is that all these Russian bitches dominate and I know they have cousins out there with a lot less broad shoulders and a lot less muscle mass that are totally mail order…and mail order brides are the new high school sweetheart. True Story.
I came across this clip of Marisa Tomei Topless in a new movie. I don’t know when the fuck this is from, so it could be a new movie from 5 years ago, but I haven’t seen this clip before so I figured I’d post it because it’s new to me.
I have been trying to get my friends at the park to write for the site, some of these guys just sit around drinking all day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I don’t want to out them on here individually, because I know you just care about tits, but one of the dudes is some paranoid schizophrenic who is heavily medicated to the point where you’d think dude was retarded. He just sits next to the bench on a motorized wheel chair scooter thing and yells at the squirrels, there’s another dude who is about 30 and always talks about when he fought in the Vietnam war, even though he wasn’t born when the war was going on and dude’s fucking Canadian, but he is convinced that he was there so I just listen to his war stories that I know he makes up. There another dude who is completely anti government, he talks all this political shit that I don’t really care about but when he goes off on how the government is watching him and has him probed and he starts having a fit jumping in the bushes and smashing his hand on the ground to get the chip they implanted out makes for a good fucking time. The last guy who is around the park and who is always fucked up on something is convinced that he is an amputee, even though he has both his legs and he tells me about the accident he had that took his leg away from him while walking around normally. I’ve tried to tell motherfucker that he’s walking around normally and they he has both his legs, but he won’t listen. There’s another dude who wears a snow suit all the time, even when it is 100 degrees, motherfucker stinks like shit and doesn’t talk much but I am sure he has a lot to say. He is the guy who always tries to break the law to get arrested because he can’t afford food and thinks of jail as a vacation….
Either way, none of that really matters, here’s that Tomei Tit clip from a movie that is new but probably from 5 years ago and is out on DVD. You’ve probably already rubbed one out to it, on pause, on slow motion and even in fastforward to see if you could cum that fast. When you are as lonely as you, masturbation takes on many different forms to keep shit interesting.. I get it.
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want, I want to see the Spice Girls the way they were and not the way they are. They are getting back together and these are pictures of them at their photoshoot or whatever the fuck a photocall is, letting us all know that no talent can take you to the top and keep you in the public eye for a long fucking time. It can also lead to a new record deal even after they’ve all grown up, got ugly and haggard and had a bunch of kids between them, some illegitimate.
I am sure they aren’t doing this for their die hard fans, because they can’t have die hard fans. The girls raised on the Spice Girls have gone through puberty and are probably in college now, busy doing shit like keg parties and fratboy gang bangs, embarrassed that they used to want to be these cunts and do dance routines to their songs at family functions, and the only time Spice Girls hit their iPods is when they are trying to be funny and think that listening to shit they used to listen to makes for a good fucking laugh.
Either way, I am happy that Posh Spice makes these pictures worth posting. She is the only one who has aged proper with the solid use of plastic surgery and a fear of her husband leaving her for some slut in spain with big tits. Her dominatrix outfit and big fake titties lead me to believe that you’ll be jerking off to their new video like you jerked off to their old videos, only this time you’ll be doing it to Posh, because the other bitches are going to be hidden in the back wearing masks because there’s no way they’ll make the cut, at least if it was my video they wouldn’t.
I am struggling today, I didn’t even drink that much but for some reason I was out until 4 am wandering the streets trying to find my way home wasted. I think it has something to do with getting 3 hours of sleep a night, not eating very well and having the liver of a 2 year old, in size not performance. The highlight of the night was when I was screaming at the big breasted, big bodied bar maid to serve me a fucking drink while she was too busy dancing it up for some dude she knew at the other side of the bar. My stepdaughter showed up unexpectedly so I did what ever stepfather should do and that is try to whore her out to random dudes for free drinks, it worked a few times and she still hasn’t come home so I can only assume she’s out getting teenage pregnant somewhere. There was a drunken slut in the place that kept making out with dudes and grinding her cunt up against the bar stool and shit, I figured that she’d make a good friend but got distracted from the stripper who walked in with some chachi motherfucker wearing short shorts and trashy shoes that tied up like some gladiator shit to around her thigh.
I am going to start the day with Cheryl Tweedy in her bikini, because she may not be as youthful as my stepdaughter, as big as my barmaid, as horny as the horny drunk girl or as trashy as the trashy stripper bitch with fake tits, but her prison tattoos make her good enough for me.
I accidentally went in the kitchen and ate food that was in the fridge that had been left over from over a month ago. I was hungry and didn’t think it through. I guess the real highlight of the experience was that I was too lazy to wash a plastic fork I have lying around so I used a spatula with caked on tomato that’s been sitting in my ratty fucking sink for the last 2 months because my wife doesn’t clean and I figure that if I hold out, she’ll crack. I was wrong.
I went to my neighbors to watch the Paris interview, because my life is that pathetic, I lasted about 30 mins before my stomach decided to punish me for being lazy. What I got out of it is that bitch is a business woman and does business things in board rooms with the people who work her businesses and that she’s not a party slut, she’s an aquarius who likes to socialize. She also went on and on and read her shitty writing, forgot to mention me and most importantly forgot to expose herself. She’s full of shit and I am happy I ended up running home to throw up for an hour. She was boring, lacks substance, proves that she is a waste of space and the one thing she wants to change about herself is that her voice gets high pitched when she is nervous, she is trying to pretend to be a wholesome Jesus lover who couldn’t quote the bible, because she never read it. Anyway, Enough of this shit….
I may go out and get drunk tonight. Wait for the update. In the meantime, Click My Links…
Girls these days are crazy. This Hayden slut has grown up so fast. Bitch is already being funny by licking bronze asses and to me that is one step away from giving rim jobs while jerking off random older men in attempts to further her career and have a good time. This is the kind of joke I’d expect from a middle aged drunk woman at the company Christmas party or at a family wedding, who is all jacked on estrogen therapy to balance out her high testosterone levels leading her to grab her tits and smack her ass while simulating a blowjob on the wine bottle.
I used to watch Oprah and heard all about teens thinking anal sex is safe because they can’t get pregnant and would have parties that if I was there age, wouldn’t get invited to, where they all get together and suck dick. I don’t know how old some of you fucks are, but when I was 17, I don’t think girls shaved their boxes, bikini waxes weren’t common, virginity was and so were bad fit jeans and turtleneck sweaters. Whenever I’d asks girls about masturbating they’d get offended, when I’d get them alone in a room, they would barely want to make out, but on those lucky days they’d let me rub them over their panties. The only blowjobs anyone was getting was from the class whore who was molested by her father and knew all the tricks, but I always stayed away from her….because I felt bad for her. I was never a fan of molestation despite popular belief because I think my stepdaughters are hot.
Speaking of molestation, I was told that I could get arrested for posting pictures of an underage girl doing slutty things on a site that links to porn, I really hope that doesn’t happen because I would hate to get charged with kiddy porn. I know that that is probably the worst fucking crime out there and I always hated creeps that fuck with kids and get off to kids because kids are harmless. The thugs in prison feel the same way as I do and kill motherfuckers who end up there for doing that kind of thing, but I am banking on the fact that Hayden Panettiere is almost 18, makes her own money, does her own thing and where I am from, 14 is legal. So if she does this for a picture, it’s good enough for me to post it. So that’s why these are going up. If anyone asks, I blame Paris Hilton for turning this generation onto being porn stars. Maybe it’ll land her back in prison or at least paying out some Civil Suit when some young girl get AIDS or pregnant by following her lead. If people could bring down Judas Priest for people committing suicide or Marilyn Manson for columbine, someone needs to get on the blame Paris train and make some motherfucking moves.
