I know that none of you really care about Daisy Fuentes, she was hot in the late 80s and early 90s being on a lot of obscure shit like MTV Latino and in magazine spreads shit. She was considered some hot piece of ass for the era. Then in the late 90s she got to hosting America’s Funniest People and emotionally ate herself into disaster that lead her into all kinds of informercials for some Pilates bullshit but I could be wrong because I don’t have a TV. I had no idea that she was in her 40s, so I guess that means she’s lookin’ good for her age, eating pizza and drinking champagne making all her cuban brothers watch in jealousy as they eat their rationed bread and build rafts out of tires to make their own way to Miami to live a similar dream thanks to Daisy for paving the way for them….

I once had a Cuban hooker but you don’t want to hear my stories about communism. So I’ll just stick to the Daisy Fuentes Bikini Pictures.

I saw these pictures of Michelle Marsh trying to cover up her tits while running down the beach yesterday, I was going to post them, but realized that I never break stories, no sites link me, so why bother rushing it. I woke up today and saw them all over the place, so maybe it was my big break, but I doubt it.

Michelle Marsh has retardedly big tits. I am not really a fan of huge tits because they are usually either fake and remind me of dudes who get off to Anime cartoons and those guys make me feel uncomfortable, or they are on a fat chick and fat chick tits are fat tits and fat tits are usually pretty dumpy. I also like living in the future, you know thinking about where the fuck things are going, instead of just enjoying shit for what it is today and every time I look at these fuckers I see a 80 year old woman with the biggest fucking hangers around. But I guess I shouldn’t be so against this bitch just because she’s stacked. It’s not her fault that she feels like having basketball tits is a good thing, and so do you and that’s why bitch has a career, so who I am to really say anything….

I was on the bus the other day because I take the bus sometimes when I have places to go which is pretty much never, but I was bored and thought it would be a good 2 dollars of entertainment. You see in the summer bitches wear less clothes and some days while lookin for inspiration, I like to get it out of everyday people. Anyway, this one girl, who must have been a stripper, but a bad stripper, because real strippers have black drug dealing boyfriends drive them around, had these insane set of tits. Her face was busted up bad enough for me to think she shoulda invested a little less on the tits and more on a new face, but that’s not the point because no one was looking at her face. These things were half exposed and everyone stared, so I guess if you’re a chick, you can get all that attention you’re craving by exposing your tits. It’s a pretty simple life lesson. You could also get attention by not wearing panties an short skirts, by fingering yourself in public or by talking about how badly you like taking it in the ass.

Michelle Marsh does it well, take her lead and send me pictures.

I have no idea who this is and I assume she’s not that famous because Puerto Rico isn’t big enough to have celebrities, unless they come to America and dress like J.Lo, but I do know that she was in a Sex Tape and that this is that Sex Tape. The fucking quality of the sound makes me assume these fuckers are using some 1950′s video camera because they are all third world and shit, but she takes it in the ass and that’s really what dreams are made of.

The reality of the whole thing is that if you are a popstar anywhere, even if you’re from some middle of fucking no where russian town, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend film you fucking, it’s going to hit the internet. The dream may be that it launches you into international fame, but reality is that people like you just like seeing girls fuck and it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. I can guarantee that none of you fucks are going out to buy her CDs after seeing this, but at least you got to see it.

I love that celebrity sex tapes don’t use condoms. I don’t think this bitch is a celebrity, but I do think that real celebs don’t wear condoms either, that’s why they all have herpes. I was sent a few porno movies a while ago and every fucking dude in them wore condoms, I guess it’s the law after that whole AIDS scare a few years ago, but I was raised on watching condomless sex, and I don’t think you should bang that random without a condom on, because STDs suck, but if you’re going to jerk off to some porn, why the hell would they throw in a tool that fucks up your hard ons in real life. That would be like throwing in a picture of your mom in the top right corner like they do for deaf people on Sesame Street saying shit like “Son, I know what you’re doing, stop that, your mother is watching”.

Ginger Spice is a little washed up. I think that she was even washed up when she started in the Spice Girls many years ago after being a stripper and amateur nude model so I guess this attempt at being sexy is expected from a girl who’s tits brought her to the top. She also just had a kid and as Britney Spears proves everyday, having a kid means months of being sprawled out on the doctor’s table for everyone to examine your box. It also means months of pulling your tit out where ever you are to make your baby stop crying. So when you have a kid, you usually forget what your lady parts were made for, well maybe that is what they are made for, but to every dude out there, they are made for other things like not having babies and only being sucked by them for the 15 minutes they last. That said, I guess a lot of pregnant chicks and post pregnant chicks never fully bounce back to where they were before their bodies were ravaged, so the day they look in the mirror and think to themselves that they’ve got it back, they want the world to know it and dress like this.

I am not really complaining, I am just too distracted by her clown hair, I feel like I am watching some new age kids show and I’m just waiting for bitch to start juggling.

But celebrities in bras are celebrities in bras and it’s my job to post them so here’s a little more Ginger Spice than we’ve seen in a long time and I guess that’s a good thing to some of you.

Another day in summer camp, or celebrity rehab, or whatever the fuck Lohan is doing in efforts to clean up her image and today’s activity involves going on a hike with friends and smelling the fucking roses. It’s a hard life when you’re young, rich and think of yourself as so fabulous even though your hurting on the inside and self-medicating, crashing cars and slutting yourself out.

Lohan seems to have let herself go, I guess the lack of cocaine that I bet she’s still doing in the comfort of her rehab center that is probably provided by the staff, because she’s not really in there to get better, she’s in there to look like she’s getting better, but she’s still rockin’ a gut, so I guess there giving her food.

I am not about to call her fat, because my wife is fat and I know fat in ways you never want to know fat, but I will say that she’s fat for a celebrity and that she’s giving the girls some pretty negative example by showing off that quitting drugs and booze makes a bitch lose all of her sexual appeal, leading me to believe that being on drugs and booze made Lohan a better fuck and now that it’s all over she’s gone to shit….So I guess the lesson of the day is to stay on drugs.

It is hot outside, I just woke up and I got no fucking stories worth telling….I’ll keep trying though.

Some guy messaged me today telling me that his 6 year old has better grammar than me. I told him to give me his email because I’d like him to write the site for me. He didn’t pull through but I know that there would be nothing funnier than having a 6 year old write about Paris Hilton’s ass or some shit. Looks like that dream isn’t going to happen though.

I am trying to find ways to make the site better without actually working. I am pretty sure one day the golden idea will come to me but until then, here are my links.

I don’t really know why I bother, but I do, and here is a second set of Britney pics, only this time bitch is rockin’ a bra out to some club….because she’s crazy and likes getting more attention than she deserves. At first I thought it was her way back into the scene after dumping K-Fed, now I think it’s some kind of weird punk rock rebel attitude where she’s basically telling all of us to fuck ourselves. I am ok with that because I like girls who show off their tits, even when their tits are ratty old dried up milk sacks that don’t look like they did when she was at her prime.

Rockin’ a bra in public deserves some respect as most girls I know need a lot of roofies to get naked, not that I encourage that kind of behavior, you just do what you gotta do in life, that’s all I am saying….not that I am really a date rapist, my limp dick is pretty non-threatening but I am sure some of you are, because getting pussy was never easy and 10 dollars and an understanding cab driver is all you really need to get ‘er done.

In reality it’s not even really date rape if you wear a condom. Condom sex is like shaking hands with a rubber glove on. There’s a shield between you and your friend so it technically isn’t even sex. That’s what I used to tell my wife when I used to cheat on her…I’d be like baby, I used a condom and condoms mean I didn’t even bang her, the condom did but reality is I never wore a condom and ended up giving her some HPV and she wasn’t impressed.

I guess lucky for her, Karma is a bitch and now my junk doesn’t work, but at least I have the memories and pictures of Britney Spears to remind me what I am missing, which isn’t really all that much. Cuddles.

So there was a show that aired yesterday on NBC called the Science of Love and it is a pretty simple concept:

An elibigle bachelor dates two separate women – one chosen by experts based on his biological and psychological makeup, and the other chosen by him based on raw attraction. Which woman will win his heart? Find out in this unique original hour-long special hosted by Mark Consuelos. Music provided by: Novillero, Spider Problem, Flyleaf, Tele.

I didn’t watch it because I don’t have a TV, it broke last week and when I did have a TV I only got one channel that wasn’t NBC. I am lucky enough to have a reader named CRAZY who felt obligated to send in this nippleslip to me and since CRAZY went to all that effort for me, I had no choice but to do a post for him. I am trying to encourage all you fuckers to give me hot leads because I am tired of having all the same fucking pictures as every other blog out there. So be a little more like my reader named CRAZY.

I have been trying to come up with reality TV show ideas that I could try to sell and make my mark on the world, but all I have come up with is making a poor desperate man who hates his life live his dream life in an all expense paid villa with unlimited booze, viagra and hookers under the age of 25. I have a feeling it won’t sell.

I could never come up with this kind of love match bullshit that middle age wives are into because I find the whole thing bullshit. We all know that people marry out of convenience and that there is no such thing as real love, it’s more a combination of lust and fear of being alone. Maybe I am just saying that and don’t actually believe it, but if all the bitches who eat this shit up were really in love, I doubt they’d be sitting at home watching it. I may be called a porn site and there may be porn sites out there that cater to men jerking off, but what you don’t realize is that this kinda shit is smut for older ladies, it’s their kind of porno and since it’s more socially accepted, has less nudity and everything sexual is implied and not made obvious it’s making assholes out there rich while I sit here getting typecast in my filthy shitbox I call home. That said, at least the editors are letting nipple slips make it to Air, because at least now we can finally say shows like this have done something good for us rather than make our wives want new cock and point out all our imperfections because we are too embarrassed to take them horseback riding or some shit. In my case, I am not romantic for the sake of the horse, but you fuckers have no excuse.

I’d like to thank CRAZY for making this post possible with his 16 inch TV and his digital camera. I guess being CRAZY isn’t so bad.

These pictures were taken couple days ago and they are of her going to a movie when she was in rehab. I already gave you a taste of my experience in rehab where I wasn’t allowed to do anything, couldn’t make a phone call, was forced to do chores and group therapy with other nut jobs who had been driven to drink because they were raped, molested, mistreated, had low self esteem, hated themselves, never had a father and other fucking things that were leading me to drink because my life wasn’t as bad, I just drank because it was fun. Anyway, if my rehab experience meant days at the beach, days at the movies, late night pizza parties and whatever else this slut is doing, I would have tried to stay in there longer, rather than spend my days plotting my escape.

What Lohan needs to be plotting is a way to land a better body. Bitch is boxy has no real ass, but what she does have of an ass is some weird indented shit that reminds me of her Mercedes after she crashed it while jacked on coke and drunk that lead to her stint in rehab holiday. Her legs are thick and she runs like a retarded kid at the institution during soccer hour, but I still like to think that I am connected at the soul with this bitch, I just haven’t bothered writing about it, calling her, sending her myspace messages, busing to LA to hide in her closet and stalk her proper, because her quitting drinking has really let me down. I don’t want anything to do with her until bitch drops the bible and self help books and starts eating pussy in club bathrooms again.

I don’t know when these pictures were taken but they are new to me. What isn’t new to me is how obscene this bitch Kim Kardashian’s ass is. I saw the sex tape, I have seen other pictures out there showing off this massive thing and I know that I don’t like it at all. I know that every hip hop motherfucker out there loves this kind of shit. I have seen many youtube videos of fat asses being shook. I have seen strippers with booty do things I never thought asses could do and I never really fell for it. All I could think about was how many buckets of friend chicken bitch had to eat to make this shit happen. It always represented some nature channel shit to me, like the baboon with the biggest reddest cunt gets noticed by the alpha males, and I guess that never really got me off. What I do know is that Paris Hilton probably could have stuck out her friendship with this Armenian Fashion Accessory because she could hid from the cops between her freakishly big ass cheeks. See I can make bad blog jokes too.

I think the reason I never liked fat ass, even though I married a fat chick, was because I could never get my little penis around the goods and into the right places, it created some kind of barrier that kept people like me out, the reason it worked with my wife was because her ass had no personality, it kind just hung there like a wet towel hanging to dry and was easily moved to the side. It’s a skill I am glad I don’t need to use again.

Either way, today’s not working so well for me, but you can still look at bitches ass and say she should be spending some of Daddy’s inheritance on a personal trainer because one day soon that fucker is going to drop and even though I think she’s fucking dumpy right now, everyone else will too soon and no black dude or white guy trying to be black is going to want to film sex tapes with her anymore and that is pretty much considered failure where this bitch is from…

So this is the video of Paris Hilton walking out of jail with a big smile, shaking hands with the people, like she just ran a marathon of hope for retarded kids. I am convinced that bitch hasn’t changed at all, now that it’s over she can go back to her whore life of being self absorbed useless waste of space and she can also make a little money from the whole experience with her book and sudden spike in media interest in her. I wrote her a letter, she never responded. So bitch is dead to me, unfortunately she’s not dead to all of you and you motherfuckers will just keep feeding her story and ego as the next months unfold. She’ll be in magazines, on TV, in newspapers on the internet, making appearances and speeches and being interviewed It’s a whole new beginning for Paris in the limelight, and probably not a new experience for her to make a difference with her celebrity. What you will see happen is simple, young girls everywhere will be trying to get DUI’s on a suspended license so that they too can live the Paris life. It’s like the sex tape revolution all over again, only girls going to jail is a lot less interesting to me than girls sucking dick.

I bet you feel like an idiot for thinking this whore had fake tits. I think it’s pretty clear that she’s stacked like a fat 13 year old girl who just got her period. Shit’s not made of silicone, it’s made of donuts and loose skin from once being filled with milk.

I had so many different things to write about today, I was sleeping and so much shit came to me that I was dreaming about how inspired I was, I had at least 10 amazing stories that I didn’t write down so I am drawing a fucking blank and that’s probably one of the most frustrating things in doing this site.

If more girls were like Britney, I’d be spending a lot more time in the changing room at stores around the city. There was a time when I’d get drunk with my friends in the morning and we’d have no where to go so we’d hit the mall and watch girls buy lingerie, bikinis, and shit like that. I never saw tit slips but I was escorted out of the mall by security after they got too many complaints from stores. It took them about a month to catch onto me though.

Seeing Britney stage a tit slip and not being able to jerk off to it because it’s not hot enough for you is pretty depressing. Not that I could have really jerked off to it with my not being able to get it up issue, but you know what I mean. There was a time when this was the fantasy of many, but now that it’s out there it’s not as good as you’d want it to be making the fantasy over. It’s like bringing home that hot chick you’ve always wanted, fucking her and finding out that she sucks in bed and did things you couldn’t fucking stand, and now that you’ve done it you never want to do it again, not that you’d know what that feels like, virgin. What it comes down to is that tit is tit and this is expensive tit and we should just appreciate what she’s doing instead of rippin’ into her for not being in her prime anymore, because that is usually happens when chicks have 2 kids.

The paparazzi scare the fuck out of me on this one, this is some climbing up the telephone pole with a telephoto lens creepy voyeur shit that’s got me arrested a few times…and the quality of the picture is so fucking good it doesn’t even look like bitch has a nipple, shit’s so grainy. Either way, I am posting them…

I have a new email buddy who writes me stories about how her boyfriend fingerbangs her and how she once accidentally made out with a dog. She told me about going home with some random dude who had fat chick porn mags sprawled out all over his shitty apartment and how she woke up not knowing whether he raped her or not. I find this kind of shit inspiring. I’m thinking I should go out there and live more than sticking to a computer and reading/writing useless drivel, but I really have no where to go – so I’ll just keep relying on the few of you who actually aren’t too scared to venture out of your house…like this bitch who passes out on creepy dude’s floors and wake up wondering whether dude stuffed her or not….

This is shit that I was sent or that I went to today. Doesn’t mean shit’s amazing but I think it’s worth checking out. If you’re wondering why it is long, it always is because I am compensating for a short cock.

Here are the links:

So it turns out that Brooke Hogan got fake tits. I figured that was the next step for her and you can tell by the scar in the armpit and from the fact that her tits are bigger than they were before. I remember when this slut was just a small breasted fat chick with a dream and now she’s pretty much no better than the whores I dream about getting lap dances from in my local strip clubs. The reason I call them whores is because they let you grab their tits for money and if you don’t have money they really want nothing to do with you and that would piss me off if I was lookin for love, but I am not, so I can handle the fact that they walk off pissed off when I tell them I have no money after making them chat me up for an hour. It’s actually one of the only things I find joy in these days. Because if I was a stripper I wouldn’t be working the loser in the corner who has been nursing one beer for the last 5 hours while wearing joggin’ pants….but I guess strippers aren’t known to be geniuses at least not at the places I go to.

The one thing that drives me crazy about strippers these days is their stupid legwarmers. The only reason I am posting these pictures is because of her fucking stupid pants. I got issues with these things and I see them everywhere I go. I don’t find them hot, I don’t care that a bitch is walking around with her ass hanging out and her legs covered up, I like full nudity or half nudity, but not no nudity, just annoying glimpses at what could be, from behind of retarded pants that distract me from wanting to see her naked because I am too focused on wondering what the fuck bitch is wearing.

I don’t care that Brooke Hogan thinks being sexy is being a stripper, it’s a pretty general mentality. A lot of girls and strippers think being a stripper is sexy and they all take notes from each other, making all girls run the same tricks. I go to fucking strip clubs all the time so I guess I partially feel the same way, but I like to believe the real reason I go to strip clubs is to try to figure out what drove these whores into becoming whores. What kind of daddy issues, broken homes, poverty and addiction did they face to resort to making a lot more money than they would working the checkout counter at the supermarket an to see some naked chicks, but not to be seduced by stuidity.

Either way, Brooke Hogan has access to money, comes from a big house with big cars and a big father, but for some reason she’s following her whore mother’s footsteps and taking this shit to the stage, big fake titties and semi-nudity, the only problem is that cunt isn’t showing her cunt and that to me is a waste of a stripper or someone who is so obviously inspired by strippers but is too pussy to take it to the level needed making her nothing but a failure to me…at least SHE’S been consistent on her quest to the pole….

Jade Jagger is the daughter of Mick Jagger and Bianca Jagger. She’s about 36 and I think I love her. These are pictures of her having a pretty weak upskirt that make me question why I do this site. I don’t understand why the fuck I bother writing posts about people I don’t ]give a fuck about, even though I’d love to stuff them like a turkey, but I do it because they are showing off a little panty. It’s a pretty fucking pathetic existence, because I would be a lot happier being out watching upskirts and nip slips happen in real life. Unfortunately, I am too poor and lazy for that shit.

What I am not too lazy for is harassing girls on myspace and facebook. Today’s question is when did you have your first orgasm. So far no one has answered me but 10 people have deleted me as a friend. I guess I am good at turning people off.