I had to walk home through the park last Wednesday because I lost my week-long bus pass and my wallet said no to a new one, so fuck you bus. It had just rained and was hot as balls. The park was deserted, except for what i took at first to be a homeless guy lying on this big rock at the edge of the pond. This was an odd place for a nap, since he was basically in the water, which is covered in a 5 inch layer of green sludge that smells like mother nature’s moldy wadge, and even the homeless have standards. So then I am thinking maybe it’s a dead body, how exciting! I step in for a closer look, then realize its some sort of dirty hipster couple making out… making out in a huge puddle of rotting forrest and duck shit.

Here is Rocio Diaz in Pronto magazine, dressing as an 80s stripper. I have no idea who she is and I don’t read Spanish so well, but she looks like the kind of girl who would be down for some heavy-petting in a lake of sewage if you got her drunk enough. Your virgin loins are about to get dirty.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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