I am – Sienna Miller’s Bus Ride of the Day
Turning tricks for Jesus’ 4 readers is tougher than turning tricks on the street. You’re like a 15 dollar blowjob that refuses to come for like an hour and bitches about method. But sometimes you throw in an extra 5 bucks, so I am gonna try my best to suck you off by being extra crude and offensive, and probably fail.
Yesterday i splurged and took the bus home because it had been raining. I like to play a game where i pick some cunt to be the suicide bomber who is gonna take away our misery. Yesterday it was a 58 year old woman with spectacles, bangs, and a kankles. You could tell her husband is terrified of what her pussy. The explosives were packed beneath the pancake tits hiding under her grandma sweater (it’s fucking summer).
Now, I don’t support terrorism, unless the only way to get Sienna Miller to off herself is to have her become a suicide bomber, then I am all for it. Her movies tank, the fat nanny was a better fuck, and she seems like an real bitch. She should at least wear something nip-slippable to distract from her squinty eyes and truckstop hair, instead of this upity awareness shirt at some annoying the screening of new Hindi film “Partner” in Mumbai.
I am hoping she makes her mark on public transportation soon. As long as i get to chose who is on the bus, it’s fine. I would definitely put Paris on that bus, along with that guy i recently fucked at the W hotel in the bed that was still wet from his buddy jizzing all over some other slut. I was too drunk to give a shit then, but i feel nasty now, so for that he has to die, so he can be the driver. Who would you put on Sienna Miller’s “Big Ride to Hell”? (if you say me i will cut you.)
Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)
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