I was out having drinks with some friends last night and had to deal with the shock and awe from some jock idiot who couldn’t fathom that I had never seen American Pie. Am I really missing out on that much?? What’s worse, is this homo acted like the fucking movie was Schindler’s List of something, which I guess when you’re a full time drunken college-sports-idiot may be true, but all I really watch is documentaries and porn. I don’t think I’ve seen Schindler’s List either, come to think of it.

I’m hoping Tara Reid gets pregnant soon, cause I think she will make the ultimate Couger Mom. Couger Moms are women like Dina Lohan, who try to re-live their youth vicariously through their daughters, sleep with their children’s friends, and give their kids booze when they are way too young cause they have no friends of their own and want the kids to think they are hip. You know what I mean, the mom’s you think are cool when you’re like 12, until you realize that it’s pretty bizarre a grown women always wants to hang out with teenagers.

I can just see Tara battling for the attention of her daughters friends, spilling her long island ice tea on her pink carpet as she walks around her house in a bikini and high heels, her make up smeared across her face. Her skin will be the shade of a nice leather Luis Vuitton handbag by then. She would make all the kids go sit in the living room and watch American Pie repeatedly, pausing it to either give commentary on all her big scenes or to yell at the TV and start to cry because “things weren’t supposed to turn out this way”.

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