I got an email today saying that Britney tried to off herself when turning her kids over to Federline or some shit that led her to being held under observation in the suicide ward of some hospital.

The reality is that she probably should have offed herself after first having sex with Ferderline out of shame, because dude was pretty much an embarrassment of a person and had no business getting up in her and poisoning her uterus with his babies that have since destroyed her, but none of that matters, what does matter is that Britney “Owen Wilson” Spears survived whatever the fuck her over-dramatic take life too seriously actions were, which is good for us, because we still haven’t seen her give lap dances at the local strip club, but bad for her because failed suicide is like reaffirming how much of a fuckin’ loser you are because you can’t even get that right. Loser.

I guess it’s just a cry for attention or publicity stunt because bitch has all the money in the world and is living Kanye West’s good life. She’s addicted to the media coverage she’s been getting because it helps sell records. I am convinced this is all a well-oiled machine that is fabricated and scripted and everyday she gets a briefing on what to do, unfortunately that hasn’t lead to her doing porn and she’s getting a little too old and washed up, but there’s still hope for the sister when the time comes to buy the baby formula and all of the family money has gone to paying for Britney’s Longterm facility care.

I don’t know why I just wrote so much non-sense on something I don’t care much about, I blame the vodkas I am still tasting…

Read The Britney Suicide Watch Story Here
GO

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