Ivana Trump proves why divorce is amazing, because when Donald Trump married her she was a young hot communist Czech model. Look at her now. I guess that’s why Trump’s traded her in for newer, younger models and few times over. She’s old, thick and looks disgusting in a bikini and no one wants to wake up to that.

The good news is that she’s rich too and people are whores so she can rent someone to play her young boyfriend when they are out in public and I guess when they are behind closed doors and her floppy old lady menopausal vagina needs loving. If you look close enough at these pictures you can see dollar signs in this motherfucker’s eyes and bills pouring out of her speedo….but she’s rich and it’s a small price to pay to give an old lady some confidence and the feeling of still being wanted after looking in the mirror. It’s like buying a new hat or new car to impress her boring married friends.

I tried impressing someone once. I wanted to rent a car to impress a girl I met on the street and who agreed to go on a date with me. So I called all the rental car companies and they were all too pricey for me. A neighbor of mine saw me distraught about the whole thing because I really wanted to fuck this chick and I knew having a car was needed to make that happen because she was one of those high class girls and he offered me his car. I accepted.

I picked up the girl and within fifteen minutes we got pulled over for a burnt out tail light and the cops decided to do a quick search of the trunk because they realized it wasn’t my car and though that I was a criminal. My date was pretty surprised when they found a half naked chick bound and gagged in the trunk, but not as surprised as me. I tried explaining to the cops that it wasn’t my car and all that shit, but we both got arrested.

After a few hours of questioning they called in my neighbor and the girl in the trunk and it turned out that the girl was his girlfriend and that they were into some fucking kinky dominatrix sex games and this was just one of them.

Point of my story is that my date wasn’t impressed no matter how hard I tried and I think Ivana Trump’s time has come and gone and she should probably take up knitting and baking. Leave the bikini pics for her plastic surgery lovin’ daughter, because she’s got some tits on her that I wouldn’t mind feeding off of for a night.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 at 12:36 pm and is filed under Bikini, Ivana Trump, old, Tits. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.