I was reading some women’s magazine the other day, as I like to do, to keep in touch with the other gender. I feel like it fills me with useless information that I can use to seduce women into getting naked for me on webcam because I generally don’t leave my house. My theory is that if you understand what the other species is reading and being fed, you can understand what they are thinking and in turn use it to your advantage in getting a hot young vulnerable girl to flash her tits for the sake of flashing her tits, as long as you use a language they understand.

So this week I learned that there are more men than women in the world so something like 4% of women will never get married, never have a family, never grow old with someone and will instead just die alone. My initial thought was that the 4% of girls who never get married were ugly, fat, disgusting women that no dude would want to end up with, but it turns out that a lot of them are hot, successful and just missed the fuckin’ boat. Maybe they were just saying that to make the lonely, vulnerable, fat disgusting readers feel better about themselves so that they don’t go jumping off any bridges, but maybe it’s true and if it is, Jennifer Aniston is one of those. The only difference is that she was already married, she just wasn’t good at it and forced her man to leave her.

So all the money in the world, all the re-runs of friends with her hard nipples, a hot bikini body still don’t help her lock down a cock, but the reality is that you’d all wait in line to get up in this, she just thinks she’s too good for you because Brad Pitt gave her unrealistic self-worth, even after destroying her on all levels, her low self esteem and rejected self still thinks she’s too good for you…..so stare at her ass and show her who’s boss in the privacy of your own room in your mom’s basement.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 12:01 pm and is filed under Ass, Bikini, Jennifer Aniston, Tits. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.