I guess it’s nice to see Salma Hayek on the set of her new movie with a beard that is more full than anything I’ve ever been able to grow because I guess my testosterone levels don’t have shit on hers. I guess it’s some hormonal imbalance that comes with having a baby. I like to believe that she doesn’t even have a beard in these pictures and I just see one because subconsciously, I know her mangled vagina looks like a set of balls and her sex appeal, like 90 percent of moms out there is about as much as a ratty bearded man, but the rumor is that these are real and for some movie where she plays the bearded lady. This is her second role having facial hair, which is making me believe she’s being typecast because of her genetics, but according her to her gynecologist, this facial hair hasn’t got shit on the heat she’s packin’ in her pants.

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