Tila Tequila has made a career of being a party slut, so that should give all the party sluts out there hope that dancing in skirts short enough to show their panties for men in Ed Hardy shirts and bottle’s of Grey Goose, that they actually have a purpose in life that runs a little deeper than sucking rich dude cock when drunk only to be never called again by them unless they do a good performance and the dude feels like feeling like a superstar with party sluts on his arm the next time he saves enough of his call center money to pretend he’s ballin’.

Tila’s got the bisexual thing, the skimpy clothes, the Playboy pictorial and the millions of myspace friends to let us all know that she did something right with her fake tits and here are some pictures of her hosting some club event that really lame people attend in hopes of seeing this girl they watch on a second rate show in the flesh.

I was at the Montreal Tila event last week and the funniest thing of the night wasn’t watching her dance around and sip her drink for idiots with cameras hoping for an amazing new Facebook album, it was that people actually believe her fuckin’ show. I was told she’s been in a relationship with a dude for a few years, the show was just a concept to make her money and get her out there and were asking tons of questions about the show like she was real and had an impact on their lives. One girl next to me asked TIla if she missed the bull dyke she didn’t choose in the Finale that I had the privilege and I use that word very fucking loosely to wach Shot at Love show and Tila had no fuckin’ clue who the fan was asking about, because she just used the bull dyke as a tool to get ratings and didn’t know her by any name other than bull dyke. Truth be told, I actually had a soft spot for the lesbian, maybe it’s cuz I like licking pussy too and feel we have a common ground, but more because she was a nice girl who legitimately looked hurt, meanwhile a year later, Tila, the love of her life, didn’t even know who the fuck she was.

I guess none of that matters, but what does matter is that she’s wearing a see through shirt for all these assholes who can go home happier knowing they brushed shoulders with the girl who had the most friends on myspace.

Other than that, she’s hotter in person and I’d still give her a shot of my love and I am talking about my sperm in case you didn’t get my really lame joke, but I don’t think she really wants it because she didn’t pick me out of the crowd to go back to her hotel room to introduce me to her fiance because I guess I don’t spend enough time at the gym and my old homeless look doesn’t really look as good to her as tight fitting over-priced t-shirts.

To See My Legendary Moment Meeting Tila Tequila Click HERE

So Kim Kardashian’s sister’s a jealous of her because she’s had a sex tape that made her 5,000,000 dollars and now she can afford to get a Bentley, while they haven’t had any high profile sex tapes released that made them 5,000,000 dollars to afford a Bentley of their own. Watching these spoiled cunts fight about something so fuckin’ obnoxious like a 250,000 dollar car while the rest of the world is struggling to pay our fuckin’ bills. Now I am not jealous about other people’s success even if I know the cunt is fat and useless to the world, because that’s not entirely their fault and more your fault for supporting her career enough to get her in this position to begin with and that’s just another reason why I hate you.

I guess the highlight of the video is when Kim throws a spoiled brat fit and punches at her monster-sized sister, unfortunately her sister didn’t react the way I wanted her too, which would leave Kim an invalid because I think that would be one step closer to the improvement of society, but I guess Kim is her boss and she has to keep it cool to not get fired from Kim’s show, but at least there is a lesson in this video and that is that we can’t always get what we want. I guess these useless trials and tribulations of a useless person is what you all want to see because you want to fuck her and I will never fully understand that but I will take pleasure in watching her get fatter and fatter as she sits on her ass ordering drive thru in her new car emotionally eating herself to death because she’ll find out material goods don’t bring her happiness because she’ll always just be a second rate Paris Hilton and that’s depressing enough for anyone to want to kill themselves.

Here is Kim Kardashian at some beach, not in a bikini, but in a Fat Chick Bikini because she realizes no one wants to see that shit and it’s better if she keeps what those late night ice cream cones did to her…to herself.

These pictures are some awkward fuckin’ pictures of Brooke Hogan being rubbed down by her dad and not of her dad’s new girlfriend who looks like an older version of Brooke Hogan and a younger version of his wife. It’s been joked that he is dating an older version of his daughter because he has some kind of sick incestuous fantasy he’s got, like the first porn I saw called “Sharon” that was an incest porn from the 70s where the dad said classic lines like “this is the shit that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn how to suck dick from your mother” or “I’m going to come in your ass cuz I don’t want no bastard babies running around the house” but to be fair to Hulk, he’s a piece of trash and this is what pieces of trash pussy looks like.

I think he’s just knows how to tan properly and it’s his kind of right of passage to his daughter, you know showing her the right way to get ‘er done before he dies. It’s like seeing a butcher teach his kid how to cut meat or a farmer teaching his kid how to tend the fields, in some kind of passing the torch over to the next generation and its not sexual like the time he jerked off to watching her changing from the crack in her door or the time he accidentally walked in on her in the shower, despite having 4 other bathrooms in the house, or the time he took her virginity so she’d know how to do it proper. Maybe it’s some in love with yourself shit, where fucking something you made isn’t wrong, it’s masturbation but no matter what this genetic sexual attraction shit is, it makes me uncomfortable.

It’s a lot like the time I saw a kid rubbing his mom down with lotion at some public pool – Watch It

UPDATE – MORE PICS FROM THE INCESTUOUS EVENT

So some girl asked to be my intern today and I don’t really know what I do let alone coming up for things for her to do. My first thought was to have her write the site for me – while I drank cocktails and got lap dances all day, but realized I can’t afford that, so instead I asked her for nude pics. She no longer wants to be my intern and I guess I don’t really want a boring girl who doesn’t get naked to be my intern, so it all worked out in the end.

Here are my links:

I wasn’t too surprised to see these pictures of Sarah Silverman at the Gay Awards, but I was expecting Kimmel to be there too, because you’d have to be gay to stick your dick into this bitch, but then again I guess what he does isn’t really considered media, it’s more of a late night informercial than a talk show. He probably pays ABC to give him that time slot because there’s no way they’re paying for his shit. He’s just another Ron Popeil, only difference is that Popeil has more talent, which isn’t saying much but it’s saying something.

So Annie Leibovitz is a pedophile and takes sexually suggestive pictures of 15 year old girls for the sake of art, the same excuse every other pedophile uses, but the good news is that Annie Leibovitz is one of those pedophile’s society accepts and awards because their creative vision has nothing to do with their sexual disorders and dysfunctions, like Roman Polansky who is an Academy Award winning pedophile.

At least that what the Spin Doctors (not the band), over at Disney are saying by making the world think MIley was manipulated into getting topless. I guess they don’t want to look like the pedophiles that they are, you know luring little kids to sit on the laps of cartoon like mascots in a amusement park designed to be a magical place for kids while producing brain washing movies and TV shows that have sexual subliminal messages that little kids get addicted to while pretty much owning the girls who star in said shows by paying them insane amounts of money to keep their mouths shut about the seedy shit that goes on behind the scenes. You know the whole use the tool to reach the youth and money make while telling them that a whole lot of girls would kill to be in their position so if they know what’s good for them stick this in your mouth and be sure to stick your finger in my ass while doing that, sweetie, but don’t tell anyone cuz I’ll ruin you, bullshit. Money, Fame, Disney and Vanity Fair are all equally fucked up, but what it all comes down to is Miley Cyrus is a total fuckin’ slut, 15 or not and she probably demanded to be shot topless, and now they are just passing the blame cuz Disney is a wholesome money making machine that made something like a billion dollars off this show and getting any bad press or losing any loyal fans over this will make reaching next year’s billion dollar objective harder and this topless shit doesn’t represent wholesome or some Christian Conservative bullshit that is all part of what makes the USA a total fucking lie. You know the whole we’re so good and wholesome on the surface, meanwhile so corrupt behind the scenes as we’re pumping blow and dicks into our 15 year old actors. We’re the fuckin’ Magical Kingdom fun for the whole family.

I guess I am just pissed because every time I lure 15 year olds into my photo studio I have to make them promise no to tell anyone about the topless pictures that I have to keep locked away in a safe. I am just kidding, I don’t have topless pictures of my 15 year old stepdaughter or any 15 year old, despite popular belief based on the name of the site by people who judge books by their covers, I am not into young girls, I prefer sex addicted 30 year old sluts to experimenting teens. The only thing I say that could be confused for liking young girls is that I wish I was 15 this generation, just because when I was 15 I was getting shit pussy cuz all the hot pussy was too prude to lick my asshole at teenage parties, and the only reason I know this shit is cuz of an Oprah episode, so she’s the real smut peddler.

The truth is that I just watched that Ellen Page movie called Hard Candy where she plays a 14 year old boy and cuts off some internet predator photographer pedophile’s dick last night after finding his kiddie porn stashed away in a safe. I would have thought she’d just be happy someone was giving her some attention, but no she has to go out and cut dicks, I heard she wrote that part in for herself because she’s a penis hating lesbian.

The funniest thing about the whole thing is that she’s not even topless, she’s just fuckin’ ugly. They are making a big deal out of nothing by focusing their energy on the wrong fucking issue and should be spending their time trying to get her some cosmetic dental surgery.

Here are some pictures of Julia Louis Dreyfus leaving a beauty salon. Bitch needs more of a miracle worker than a hairstylist to make her look worth fucking. These pictures would make more sense if the Beauty Salon changed their name to Scamming Old Fat Cunts into Paying a Ton of Money in Hopes of Lookin’ good enough for cock and she knows it, that’s why she carries her kid around with her like some kind of trophy that tells the world that someone’s actually came inside her about ten years ago at least once.

Phoebe Price is a whole lot of nothing, and by nothing I mean cellulite. She’s always bringing her freckled pasty body out to events and now she’s showing it off in a bikini. Sure no guy in his right mind would get up in this sack of shit but at least she’s got her dog, because he can’t report her to the authorities when she tries to shove him into her womb head first.

Speaking of sack of shit, I was in an immigrant taxi when wasted this weekend and dude stank of fuckin’ spicy armpit. I was wasted and gagging in the backseat and my only salvation was to stick my head between my legs and fart my drunken farts. Sure it wasn’t my proudest moment as I sat there smelling my own fart as to not throw up to his fat Taxi Driver stench, it was a defense mechanism that was a much more enjoyable that lookin’ at these pictures. I guess to be fair to Phoebe Price, I kinda like smelling ass…even if it’s my own.

Nothing says classy like a bitch with a Playboy tattoo who’s only claim to fame is being in Playboy. It’s like she got that shit back when she was a worthless stripper and the guys at Playboy felt obligated to give her a spread because they were so flattered that she was enough of a slut to brand herself with their company logo. Thank god they don’t do that for every tacky party slut who has a Playboy tattoo because I know that hot girls rarely get that shit, it’s more like every single tacky fat party slut who thinks she’s got it going on because one asshole was drunk enough to tell her she looked good enough for Playboy to get a blowjob and she took her new found self esteem to the tattoo parlor to remember that day forever…..

Either way, here’s Shauna Sand in a bikini.

Here’s some pictures of Brooke Hogan with her manly boyfriend out in a bikini when he should be the one in the bikini. She’s been forced to tan outside since her parents are having a bitter custody battle over their tanning beds. At least she’s been able to emotionally eat her way through this whole mess….

Here are some pictures of Brooke Shields Leaving the hospital on crutches, I guess her legs finally gave-out from the weight of her testicles.

I didn’t end up drinking last night because I drank all day and I thought my heart was going to explode, so instead I snuck out for some late night shitty food near a stripclub. I like to go there at shift change, just to see the strippers in their everyday clothes order food. It’s like knowing the behavior of a stripper outside the club like being part of their everyday life while they eat disgustingness emotionally after being grabbed by disgustingness and treated like disgustingness all night and that pain makes paying them to grab their tits next week for 10 dollars more fun.

While at the shitty restaurant, I met a group of 18 year old lesbians who aren’t lesbians yet, they are just sexually charged teenagers who talk about pussy more than I do and they had just left the stripclub that they went to for the first time and they were horny as fuck and grabbing at each other, despite having never actually fooled around before. I was trying to convince them that all girls are bisexual and that they should just finger themselves together and let me watch and that’s when I realized that cute 18 year old bi-curious chicks who get food after going to the stripclub for the first time is a lot sexier to creep on than a broken down 30 year old stripper who looks like death and smells like hand sanitizer in her cheesy everyday clothes eating pancakes after a night of hard work.

Either way, they didn’t let me watch them masturbate together, but if the night ended in a slumber party in their parent’s basement, I can almost guarantee that it went down and not being an 18 year old dude to get in on that is depressing but not as depressing as Sundays are. So here’s the latest from the forum to entertain yourself on a lazy sunday.

I have this habit of not posting the stepLINKS on Friday afternoons because I am out getting myself in trouble instead. Last night I only told one dude I was going to rip his fucking throat out for calling me fat because despite being fat and knowing I am fat, I don’t need some cocksucker in an Ed Hardy shirt telling me that I am fat. I also lied to a girl about how I was a lawyer, in attempts to get her to give my virgin friend a handjob in the alley, it worked until I brought up the whole handjob in an alley thing and that drove her to hate me, but for the first 5 minutes, when we were talking about Law, she was hooked. I don’t remember much from the night, but I’ve proven yet again that Tequila makes me a pirate. I like to consider that my life work.

Here are my links…

Here are some pictures of Lesbian Pink doing some Lesbian Grocery Shopping and her nipples are hard. I was trying to figure out what she bought because I figure lesbians buy anything tree hugging, vegan, organic and granola based, but can’t make out what this is. I guess lesbians also buy anything phallic because they can use it on their pussies before eating it in some kind of green-living, saving on consumption kick.

I think ti’s funny how everyone is fuckin’ crazy about saving the environment now, it’s everywhere I fucking look. Where all these people think they have a responsibility to save the fuckin’ world and that their using shitty overpriced lightbulbs or putting a brick in their toilet is going to make a fucking difference. I don’t like group though and that’s why I still don’t recycle. I am a garbage producer and the proof of that is in this site.

Brooke Hogan is sad that her parents are staging a divorce and that her dad is running around with her older friend and mentor because bitches look the same. She’s so upset that the attention isn’t on her that’s she’s gone out and peed herself like a 2 year old kid because she knows that will get mommy and daddy’s attention and in some juvenile way, hopes that her emotional breakdown will bring their family together.

I never understood why kids were such pussies about their parents splitting up. It seems like a way better situation to be in. You don’t have to listen to the fuckers fight all the time, you have two homes so you can always escape whichever parent is pissing you off and the guilt your parents have for being failures by starting a family with someone they wrongfully thought they would stay with and the social shitstain they’ve become in their community leads to overcompensation that usually comes in the form of a lot of gifts. Whenever I see a kid cry about his parent’s divorcing I always laugh at how self-important people are, like their little bullshit family unit is relevant to the rest of the fuckin’ world and they should just look on the fuckin’ brightside instead of pulling a Lohan and blaming the divorce for her self-destruction. Shit’s fuckin’ weak so Brooke Hogan better pull the fuckin’ diaper up, shut the fuck up and film a fuckin’ sex tape because I want to know if she’s actually got a pussy or not because she’s broad and I like to think that’s the only revenge I can see fitting to show her parent’s how their failed marriage destroyed her that benefits me.