I guess Christina Ricci is pregnant, or maybe she’s just getting her period, or she could just like chocolate milk because she went out to the store specifically for that shit and it reminds me of days I have to take a shit and realize that we are out of toilet paper we steal from the local gas station’s bathroom, and I can’t seem to find any free flyers or newspaper, because let’s face it, when I am in the mood to shit I am not too concerned about the softness on my asshole, and all the old t-shirts and socks lying around are needed to wear out in public because people aren’t entirely accepting of a fat topless man yet so they can’t afford to be used to wipe my ass, I go run to the store to buy a single roll as a last resort and it is usually the only thing I am buying, but I sometimes try to make it less obvious by buying a pack of gum because I know the entire time the clerk knows that I am there with shit pokin’ out of my ass and about to explode all over myself and despite being a pig, I am still shy about shitting.

Either way, I like chocolate milk too, it’s kinda my comfort food of choice, except I like to spike that shit with vodka, so I get where Ricci is comin’ from in makin’ this trek all for the sake of chocolate dairy goodness to help fill the void left from all the pain that life has dished out on her and that she can’t seem to run away from because she used to try to fill the emptiness she feels and is constantly reminded of every time she looks at her prison tattoos and breast reduction scars that mark the worst choice she ever made in life because her big tits balanced out her big head nicely and now she’s just all disproportionate as she’s bobble-heading back to her car.

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