I always thought that Kimmy Stewart was a mangled piece of bird nosed shit, but I guess when drunk she’s worth fuckin’ if you are a homeless motherfucker like me. I can just close my eyes and pretend the nose bashing me in the fuckin’ face is just my priest teaching me what Catholicism is all about because I always had fond memories of the church growing up as an Orphan mexican who couldn’t speak english,, it was a whole lot holier than the hell that is living in Kimmy Stewarts underwear.

Either way, she was caught getting down with Jude Law, offering to zip him up because celebrities are high maintenance and Kimmy Stewart knows she’s not quite celebrity enough or hot enough to be chased after by anyone, especially some second rate actor, and has to do everything she can to star fuck him.

I guess to be fair to Kimmy Stewart her dad did revolutionize music for 40 year old women in the 90s, turning them all into sluts and he does give hope to short men that a little money and a raspy ballad singing career leads to impregnating numerous tall blonde models who clearly did enough cocaine and smoked enough heroin in the 70s to ruin their uterus and produce this mess of a daughter.

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