If there’s one thing we can learn from Amy Winehouse, it’s that exercise and diet aren’t the only way to lose some excess pounds, you can always turn to heroin because shit jacks you up so hard you can’t hold down anything you eat, except for maybe some popsicles because there just soothing on your rotting heroin mouth because the other good thing about heroin is that it’s so fucking good, you don’t need to wash or shower or really do anything that involves hygiene and despite that approach not working out so well for the smells that come out of my wife on a daily basis, it frees up a lot of time to do other things, like more heroin. I think she’s a modern day hero and girls angelic voice can only mean one thing and that is that she’s sent to us from god as the new mesiah and that we should follow her lead.

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