I haven’t really figured out what labor day means since I don’t have a job, but I do know that it’s your last weekend to have a big blowout before going back into your highschool senior year you dirty little girl. I can only hope this is the weekend that brings on some solid teenage pregnancy because if I did the math right, you’ll be trying to flush your baby you’ve just given birth to down the toilet at Prom.I realize hot teenage girls don’t read this site, but this is the weekend of dreams and we’re all allowed to have dreams sometimes, even people like me.

Enjoy the weekend not like you actually have jobs, but before you do, visit these links…cuz I made them myself….

Fuck ending the war in Iraq and terrorism, or stopping global warming by driving shitty cars and recycling, accepting others for their differences and all that other shit they want us to do to make the world a better place, the only way I see the world being a nicer place if more girls were made like Charlize Theron, even with her period bloat.

On a side note, the world would be a scary scary place, if more girls were made like Hayden Panettiere. There would be enough stumpy leg muscle to move mountains or at least a couple apartment complexes in a day, but I wouldn’t want to be watching that shit pop a squat and I’m always down to watch a girl squat, just last night I was trying to convince a girl to pee for me it didn’t happen and either will a world filled with Charlizes or Haydens and that’s enough of this stupid post.

I went through a period of time where I acted like an obnoxious artist. I wouldn’t watch movies, TV or read the paper because I didn’t want the outside world influencing me or my writing on the site, the truth was I was just poor, couldn’t afford TV, movies or books and it made for a good excuse to get my wife off my back when she wanted to go on dates or spend time together, not physically off my back because if she was on my back, I’d probably be hospitalized, but you know what I mean. I recently started re-integrating into society by listening to Ryan Seacrest’s weekly top 40 in the pharmacy on the weekend. I just send an hour roaming the aisles and not buying anything because they don’t care if I window shop. Last week, he was interviewing lying whore Montag and they were talking about Lo and Lauren from The Hills and since I will never watch the show I had no idea who she was, until coming across these pictures of her in a shitty see through shirt, being ugly and escorted out by Lauren Conrad. I don’t really know why I am posting this shit, but I’ve gone this far so will finish the job, I guess I’m just doin’ it for the drunk chicks out there, because one day this could be you and your Lauren Conrad will come in the shape of a random dude you don’t know who will have unprotected sex with you making you think you have AIDS and a pregnancy to deal with for the next few months. Oh to be young again.

I find it funny watching Hilary Duff do her best to hide from the paparazzi and uses her drink to cover as much of her face as she can. It reminds me of the time my wife tried to hide on me one night when I had too much to drink and was in the mood to take my rage out on her. She ran into the kitchen and hid behind the fridge, only she didn’t really think it through because her ass was stickin’ out because she is fat and because our apartment is pretty fuckin’ small and there’s really little options when it comes to hiding. So she ended up running outside as fast as her legs could support the weight of her and hid behind a mailbox, not realizing she was fatter than the mailbox and I could pretty much see half of her. It was one of those lap dogs barking insanely because it thinks it’s a big dog situation and not just because my wife is a dog. By the time I got to her I was laughing too hard to really bother scaring her some more, and we went back upstairs, her out of breath, me happy I got a good laugh, holdin hands and that’s probably one of the more romantic moments we’ve shared.

Either way, here’s Hilary Duff trying to fool us.

I used to watch the OC with my friend who sounds like Barney from The Flinstones when he talks. He was this 40 year old pervert who was on welfare and who would always be done to go to the college parties and was the only member of my OC watching parties because like I mentioned before was a good way to talk to 18 year old girls who would otherwise be disgusted with us. He was crazy about this bitch, he thought she was the hottest fuckin’ piece and it provided countless “who’s hotter” arguments that reminded me of virgins getting together on Saturday nights to watch their favorite movies and judge which girls they would marry, when in reality they’d pounce on even the fattest chick willing to take her extra large panties off for them, if they weren’t too shy, scared and embarrassed of pretty much everything. I didn’t really get the appeal, but I do get the cleavage vest and I figured it was worth posting because I doubt anyone else in their right mind will because these pictures fucking suck.

Pam Anderson is wearing all white like the virgin she wishes she was, because if she was a virgin she wouldn’t be dying of hepatitis. Despite lookin like a ravaged ex porn star with a major drug addiction, no money and skin that has enough cum embedded in the hard to reach ance scars and wrinkles that sneezing on a chick can get her pregnant, she still has a pretty hot body, if you’re into skinny girls with big fat tits, which pretty much everyone is, even if shit is on someone who looks old enough to be your grandmother, which is all part of the reason I liked working my orderly job at the old folks home, those bitches were so frail and horny that if you put the catheter in proper they’d gasp in pleasure, something that gave me lots of masturbation content, kinda like Pam Anderson has done for you, pretty much making her a modern day hero in your life, so enjoy.

Sophie Monk’s wearing shorts, I guess she’s slowly trying to get sluttier and sluttier because we all know that girls who wear anything above the knees are just asking to get fucked, it’s been a key defense in rape cases for decades, and the reason she is doing it is because her self esteem was raped when her boyfriend left her for Paris Hilton, that’s kinda like when your favorite stripper gets mad at you for getting a lap dance with the old fat chick no one in their right mind wants because she leaves shit stains on your freshly pressed khakis or some shit. It’s going from good to bad, leaving the good thinking they are worse than the bad and when the bad is Paris Hilton shit’s detrimental to your mental health, at least that’s what I am thinking. It’s kind of the way every guy feels when they find out that I banged their girlfriend at some point in their life, they feel like something is wrong with them for dating something that got with me and it always gives me a laugh because I know it true and when you get over the truth hurting bullshit, you realize that in the end you still got laid, and that’s a whole lot more rewarding than people thinking you’re disgusting.

Katie Lohman is some kind of actress and I don’t know whether she has been in Playboy but I assume that’s the next step for her because it looks like up until this point, her biggest movie role was in a National Lampoon straight to video movie called Dorm Daze. I just read her bio and the biggest mistake of her career was that her mother didn’t let her join the Mickey Mouse Club show that she got casted for because her mother thought it would be more important to get a shitty high school education at a public school instead of one by the very same tutors who made Britney Spears the academic that she is. The reality is that she would have been lined up with Timberlake, Aguilera and all the other Mickey Mouse club trash with a lot of money, instead of struggling for attention in a bikini at some charity event last week. I guess who really cares, but it’s one of those opportunities Eminem told me about in the movie 8 mile and I guess a desperate girl is a lot more appealing than an established one, like just the other day I got to talking to some hot slut who just had her phone and purse stolen and was crying and she hugged me in her moment of despair and as her firm tits pressed against me, I realized that I could have totally banged her, so next week’s goal is to try to steal as many purses as fucking possible from as many hot chicks as possible only to move in on them like the shark that I wish I was. Next week’s reality is that I will be here sitting on the shit smelling couch like I always do, but I think it’s nice to dream sometimes.

Kellie Pickler, like VIda Guerra got a set of fake tits with the little money she made at American Idol and I guess that makes her the hottest girl in the town of 50 people she’s from. She’ll be lucky enough to marry the farmer who had the biggest output last season who lives in luxury compared to his neighbors because he has running water in the shack he lives in.

I guess as much as I make fun of Pickler for being a retard, she was probably the hottest thing to ride her mule through American Idol and despite having a relationship so close to her grandfather cuz her parents were deadbeats or died in a farming accident, that he even shaves her lil coochie for her, which seems creepy to us city folk, but where they are from is normal since she’s not his actual daughter and playing with your daughter’s coochie would cross the incest line from their backwoods community, but laying with your grand daughter’s coochie is ok, but in his defense he was the best damn sheep shearer in the county.

What I am trying to say is that she sings country and lives country and that’s something a lot more commendable than whatever the fuck Jessica Simpson is doing. Here are her big new tits while she signs some kind of pool table, god knows why, but who really cares, just look at her tits.

Vida Guerra is the first slut I can remember who made a name for herself because of her fat ass. I know J.Lo was some kind of fat assed pioneer or some shit, but at least she backed her ass up with her song and dance and acting career that lead to her high profile celebrity cock-riding, while Vida Guerra was just some nobody that had some pictures sent into FHM or some other men’s magazine by her boyfriend and that lead to cover after cover and Top 100 lists everywhere, making her a staple ass guys jerked off to….the good news is that whatever money she made allowed her to afford the set of tits she dreamed about as a little immigrant girl in her poor immigrant household because a girl with a big McDonald’s eating ass is always out of wack without a set of big ol’ titties. It’s nice to see that her money and career have kept her classy as she wears a subtle black dress to an event, I hear it’s the same dress she wore to her father’s funeral.

Shenae Grimes is some Canadian actress who has been on the Show Degrassi that I have seen a few times but only because watching teenage girls have sex makes for good TV. She’s rumored to be some kind of partying coke slut, which seems totally unlikely considering she has minor fame but enough for her to have an ego, she has lots of money and pretty much everyone is doing blow now that shit’s pretty fuckin’ accessible and helps feed her ego, and that all makes sense because you’d have to be on something to wear a pair of pants like this out in public and I am not talking about being on an Indian Reserve, I am talking hard drugs and lots of them because the last time I saw someone in pants like this, the dude wearing them was trying to convince me that huffing gas is part of his culture and he only does it to stay true to his people before asking me if I wanted to pay him to give me a blowjob because I guess inuit prostitutes come with penises too.

Either way her ass is little and hot and she’s about to takeover on 90210 the Next Generation so get ready to see more of her thanks to her new found stardom

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted yet, it’s because I got this email last night and it threw me off and forced me to keep drinking til 6 am or at least made a decent excuse for me to drink…..

I know you have a whole schtick about being drunk and fat and lazy…no doubt I believe your fat and lazy, but the whole gimmick about being drunk 24/7, I don’t buy it…I actually used to be a big fan of your site, but then every single post became “such and such in a bikini of the day”/ “such and such bikini pictures”….the shits not entertaining anymore, and I got sick of it. In fact that’s what every single celebrity blog post is now a day, bikini pictures….your site used to have shit that no one else had and I came to you first, but now it’s a last resort…see I actually am drunk, unlike you who I’m pretty sure just makes drunk jokes to seem like you don’t give a shit but in all reality do, and I started this email as a random whiny pissy rant to get you to check your spelling, because you suck horribly at it….if you have a blog that generates at least some of the respectful “fans” you used to have, at least spell check your shit and don’t insult our intelligence….if your being dead serious about why you have no traffic on the site, it’s because you’ve lost your talent, I wish you had it back, but seriously, I used to love your site, and now it’s just advertising for bullshit webcam girls/bikini pictures/teens on photobucket….don’t get me wrong, I love tits as much as the next guy, but dude, you stopped trying a while ago….hugs and kisses motherfucker

Now my public response to this is that I don’t pretend I am drunk all day, when I do the site I am usually not drinking but recovering from drinking and planning my next drink. I don’t claim to be an alcoholic or glamorize it, it is just one of the few things I do and like doing so I write about it.

I agree that bikini and celebrity pictures you can find anywhere are boring, I wish I had some exclusive content ideas and resources to go out there and expose shit, cover shit and produce good shit, but I don’t so I work with what I have and can afford and if that means ripping off other sites and forums, it’s what I am going to do.

I don’t check my spelling because I hate reading shit I already write, I am not an educated English professor and I am pretty much just winging it, if that’s not professional enough for you, that sucks, but I am not insulting your intelligence, but more showing you my lack of intelligence.

If I got lazy. the truth is I work on the site more now than I ever have……

If I lost whatever talent you think I had, then I guess that’s a good thing because it means that at one point I was a talent, something I never believed I was in anyway.

I have pretty much no advertisers, I link to a couple cam sites to pay for the server and I don’t think I ever did try.

I appreciate the feedback, but next time I hope it isn’t sent by someone who’s emails is “NewFoundGlory” because anyone who liked that pop punk suburban cover band enough to name their email after it, it really someone I can’t take seriously, so I’ll just keep doing what I do, while you sing along to the suburban punk versions of whatever shitty songs they sing while driving your car feeling at one with the music.

It’s okay to hate, I learnt a long time ago that you can’t make everyone happy and have made an effort to make as many people as possible unhappy, so maybe this is just a sign of my success. It’s also okay to get bored of this site because God knows the 90 percent of the time I am, but then again I have a limited attention span.

Either way, here’s some pictures of Audrina because she has no talent also and I feel like that is our bond, it looks like she is too stupid to realize that she’s useless as she blesses what looks like her slut sister’s offspring, like she was the real Jesus or some shit and I guess that’s what makes ignorance bliss. More to come…..

I got an email the other day that had the subject “This is What I’m Usually Doing When I Peruse Your Site” or some shit and I got nervous to click the link because got knows what the fuck people do when they visit this shit, but my curiosity got the best of me. I was glad to see that the dude wasn’t sending me video of him jerking off, killing animals or children or beating up his wife, but I wasn’t so happy when I found a picture of a toilet filled with some wonky lookin’ shit that dude took before wiping his ass. I gagged because I love shit as much as the next guy, which is not very much and I debated not even writing this because I expected the other 5 of you to send in pics of your toilets filled with shit, I’m just hoping the other 5 of you don’t have enough money to eat or enough money to find toilets to shit in because I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach the shit (literally) and my have to change my email like a girl getting stalked by an ex boyfriend. Either way, it’s Frosh week and I got a whole lot of shitting of my own to do, and by shitting I mean drinking with 19 year olds begging them to show me their anuses but I do have time to post my links because it’s kinda what I do here….enjoy the goodness and don’t send in pics of your shit…unless it is shaped like a naked 18 year old slut…this is not reverse psychology because I really like seeing your shit….it’s seriously because I don’t want to see your shit….thanks in advance, asshole.

Jessica Biel reminds me of this dude i know who just never stops working out, he doesn’t fuck Justin Timberlake, but has told me that sometimes when fucking random girls he picks up, he plays the Sexy Back song over and over in his head, so if that’s not a six degrees of separation situation, I don’t really know what is, but I do know that Timberlake’s not the one doing the fuckin’ in this relationship and sometimes that’s okay because it can be hard being the man in a relationship, you know with all that pressure to provide and protect, passing the reins off to your bigger, stronger and more endowed lover only makes sense.

Here’s Jessica Biel on a power hike, burning off some calories in hopes to make her muscles look jacked for her man, the way he likes his lover’s muscles to be, because he’s on step away from coming out of the closet. Jessica Biel is just he gateway person to fully embracing a new and exciting lifestyle.

Jessica Simpson is still trying to be country and the whole thing is getting pretty fucking obvious, boring and desperate. Seeing her in some country farm girl dress that looks like it was made by her fashion forward mother who has an affinity for the big city fashions and who tries to stay on top of the trends by copying patterns out of dated fashion magazines and who dreams of a glamorous life that wasn’t of her in Paris, New York, Milan equipped with nothing more than whole lot of fabric and a sewing machine, but who is instead on the receiving end of her husbands abusive drunk weather hand from working the farm. Unfortunately, we all know this bitch is rich and famous and the furthest thing from country. Her stupid costume won’t fool us and either will her uneducated drawl and I predict the next step for her is bringing a cow on stage to milk and I an only keep my fingers crossed that the cow they cast is her sister, it would kill 2 birds with one stone, you know with the whole hick incest thing and all. Either way, I’d still fuck her and her joke of an attempt to re-invent herself. Just because a whore doesn’t charge you for a blowjob doesn’t mean she’s no longer a whore. It does however mean she’s a fuckin’ saint, if you know what I mean….

Here’s Jessica.