Remember Christina Milian from that video where she rolls around in mud, wishing she was black, like the time I put shoe polish on my face and sang slave songs in a pretty shitty southern, broken english accent because I thought it would get me street cred, when all it really did was get me a lot of dirty looks because the black peole were convinced I was mocking them and didn’t realize I was trying to be down with them because I love black girls. I love the skinny ones at least, with their long legs and tight bodies and know how to move all with low expectations when it comes to Christmas, they are just happy to not get shot, so they don’t cost that much while white girls expect so much out of you, whether it’s time, gifts or hugs. I guess it’s because black guys aren’t too down with waiting around for them, especially after knocking them up.

I don’t love the fat black girls because they are horny, aggressive and stronger than me and because I don’t like fat chicks in general. About 2 months ago, I was walking around some hotel lobby, as I do lookin’ for unsuspecting girls from out of town, when some big ol’ Aunt Jamima lookin girl puts her really big arm around my shoulder and asks me what I am doing in town, how long I’m here for and who I am with. Knowing she wants to get paid to suck me off, I tell her I am waitin for my wife, that I am here all week, be sure to try the steak and she gets all mad and tells me how badly she wanted to keep me company all week, for 50 dollars a day. I told her I was offended that she would take me for the kind of guy who needs to pay for friends and sex, then cried into her big ol’ Aunt Jamima arms when I realized that I was the kind of guy who needs to ay for sex because girls just don’t like me, but they do when I am paying them to and that works for me.

Since we’re talking about whores here, here’s some Christina Milian trying to stay in the picture by wearing some slutty dress you want to fuck off her.

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