Kate Hudson was drunk in London this weekend. Lance Armstrong still only has one testicle and was in Canada this weekend for some charity event where people had to raise 25,000 dollars for cancer to ride their bikes with him.

I know they aren’t fucking anymore, but she still fucked a dude who is missing body parts, which probably isn’t as bad as the time I fucked this chick who was actually a neighbor’s Golden Retriever, boy was I embarrassed when they caught me. I am lying. I would never do that to a dog, but I’ve never fucked an amputee so I just can’t think of anything worse that I’ve done than fucking a dude with one ball, maybe fucking a dude with no balls and the female equivalent would be fucking a chick with no tits (Christina Applegate) but making fun of breast cancer is never funny, unless the chick with breast cancer is Sarah Silverman, because I hate her.

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