I hate Kristen Bell. She is boring. Here she is doing some bullshit campaign for Gap that made me hate her more.

I wrote a poem, even though I hate poems and find them really fucking gay, but I did it because I had no choice and it turns out that it’s a lot better than this candy-coated Gap bullshit that she sold her soul for a dollar to the Gap Devils like she was Perez Hilton….and it goes like that.

For all the virgins and the guy’s who like comics
For All the married men who’s wive’s make them vomit

For All the men that don’t do men and the girls who are just like them
For All the bored and the social outcasts who are forgotten

For All the porn addicts and the rapists
For All the guys who like to wear bracelets

For All the losers who masturbate a lot
and all the guys who have contemplated fucking a robot

Those who can’t talk and those who can’t write
There’s a way you can help and try to do right
Take of your shirt and even your skirt
Spread your little pussy and make it squirt

Squirt for for those who can’t squirt at all
Or those who have only see one pussy that was their mom’s
if only for one tuesday late in the fall….

Squirt for those who can’t.

drunkenstepfather.com

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