Having married a woman with an eating disorder and not the good kind that leaves you skinny and convulsing due to emaciation, I have no interest in food representing sex. After seeing someone dive into a pint of ice cream or a can of whip cream, or eat an entire cake in severe desperation and frenzy, you know, trying to get it all the fuck in in as little time possible, I just can’t block that out and appreciate a hot 20 year old girl with a little ice cream down her chin, or a girl at starbucks acting silly with whip cream. I like to keep my porn, my fetishes and eating separate.

So seeing Jodie Marsh trying to be sexy with Starbucks whip cream at some promotional event may be worth something to you but I just see a waste of tits, and it’s pretty much as exciting to me as seeing a group of old ladies talking about their grandkids over hot chocolate, where the one with Alzheimers forgets hot to drink and ends up covered in white frothy goodness, which could be hot if you think about the other things she’ll forget, like you raping her, provided you’re an any pussy’s good pussy kind of guy, which I am as long as it hasn’t hit it’s expiration date of 60.

The other thing that’s not hot is that even if you can see past the whole hang-up I’ve got about food and sex, and can imagine yourself cumming on her face and having her make these kinds of faces because of you, you gotta remember that girls who act like they are sluts are generally the worst in bed, so despite popular belief, the only place Jodie Marsh lets dudes cum is in the fuckin’ condom if their lucky, or on themselves after jerking off in the bathroom after she cocked teased them all night, but won’t let them inside her, because she thinks she’s too good for that and because she doesn’t want it biting into her time doing absolutely nothing, but managing to be richer than all of us.

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