I did a little research on Vikki Blows before posting these pictures from her Calendar, mainly because I had no idea who she was, but don’t worry, I like to keep things ignorant, so my research involved one google search and one click before realizing all I thought about her war right, except for the fact that her last name is actually Blows, I was convinced it was a striper stage name, but according to her, it’s the truth, which I guess is convenient and maybe ironic, despite not knowing what Ironic means, because it Blowin’ looks like something she’s used to doing….Kinda like that time I met a Jew named Freeman, who wasn’t in jail, a guy named Black who was Black and a guy named White who was white, then there was the guy named Cleaver who was a butcher, a guy named Combs who was a barber and a guy named Frye who was a cook…..but a little more pornographic, unless of course you consider a Jewish Black Guy with a Cleaver and a Comb who cooks is sexy.

Anyway, these are the things I learned about her:

Vikki was going to get expelled from school at the age of 13 for mooning her head of year, so she left school and started working at a hairdresser’s.

So she dropped out of school at 13….

I get my tittys out 4 a living, its alright, i do this as i am too lazy to get a proper job

I spend most of my time doing Nothing , im not complaining

So she’s basically a lazy stupid bitch who realized that doing nothing all day was easier than working, especially since when you have the education of a 13 year old, spelling your name is fuckin’ hard, but it gives her lots of time to catch up her reading, except she doesn’t know how to read, and the best way to accomodate that downtime was to show her titties for money and I for one, am glad she did…because despite most girls being exported from the UK being busted up hags, this one’s actually worth wanting to stick your dick inside.

So I’ve been getting hate mail, because I took the site on a weird course and posted a drunken rant about Obama. It was meant to be about how you guys should be embarrassed that kids in your country are capable of such racist thoughts and are passionate enough to say it to a TV camera all because of the way their uneducated racist parents raised them. We’re in 2008, and shouldn’t attack people for what they look like, but instead focus on what they are saying, but instead I went on about policy and the economy, shit I don’t know anything about, and shit I really care about because the recession isn’t phasing me, because I was just as broke before it hit.

I still think McCain is going to win, I still think that if Obama wins by some kind of miracle, he’ll “disappear” like he was JFK, Bobby Kennedy, or Martin Luther King, and I was just blown away at the way some of you people think, it’s pretty fucking disgusting.

So you can stop telling me I am in no position to post about that kind of shit and should focus on tits, because I know that I am just as uneducated as the people hating Obama for being black, I just get carried away sometimes and I am also minorly influenced by how cool the motherfucker is and feel the need to defend him because he is the underdog.

Now I need to stop worrying about your dirty laundry, and I’ll do that by drinking, there’s a halloween party tonight and I don’t have a costume, so unless I fuck off to find one, I will not be getting flashed tonight and we don’t want that, do we.

In my absence, you can check the stepFORUM, because that shit’s got more going on in it, than my wife’s three day old dirty, stained underwear, that looks like a real shit party on my floor, literally.

When Brody Jenner was in town, someone gave me his manager’s number, so I called asking to hang with Brody and his entourage for stepTV, but his manager didn’t get me into his event, in fact, he didn’t call, email or respond to me reaching out. I guess they all think they are too good for me, you know with their huge success on shitty reality shows they only got because of a rich stepfather.

So despite having a deep hatred for him and his lover Spencer Preatt, I figured he was enough of a no name to have someone like me follow him around, considering I follow girls around all the time, and they don’t always call the cops on me, but then again, they have a lot more going for them than this Jenner motherfucker, mainly a pussy…..but pussy is my vice. It was the main reason I even bothered emailing him and putting myself out there in some kind of selling my soul to the rich kid devil, feeling like someone who actually thinks this cocksucker is relevant enough to hang with, because I thought it would be a good opportunity to get some sloppy second pussy he turned down while I was out with him, because pussy Jenner rejects is pussy that is far better than any pussy I’ve seen.

You know, being in his entourage for just one night, wouldn’t be as bad as you’d expect, i figure dealing with his ego, his hair maintenance and his arrogance, while wasted, isn’t as gut wrenching as considering girls love him, sure they are girls who like dudes who wear Ed Hardy, but girls who like dudes who wear Ed Hardy don’t usually like me, and are pretty high maintenance, dolled up, and keep their pussy nice and shaved, in case of a slip up when dancing on tables after one too many bottle pours from a magnum of Goose, while ignoring my requests to finger bang them on the dance floor….

Either way, this video is of the asshole Brody kissing some chick, I don’t know why I am posting it, because I think he’s useless, but I guess I did it because I have a story about him, not a very good story but a story nonetheless….

Here are some pictures of Cheryl Tweedy’s tits that are probably old, but my advisor told me before throwing these out there, that the orgasm they may help produce will be new, so it doesn’t matter when they were taken. My advisor, was unfortunately, myself, I haven’t got big enough to afford people to consult, but I decied I should just post them and get on with trying to find some fresher shit and that wasn’t a reference to Cheryl Tweedy being married to a black guy, therefore no longer fresh, if that’s what you’re thinking Racist, I just mean that if you’ve already seen them this is a huge waste of your time, but since I don’t mind wasting your time, since there’s a lot of it to be wasted, I figure, I’ll just post them, since when you masturbate on your computer, you don’t need to know who the girl in the video is, when the video was shot, or if she’s even still alive. So why not use the same logic when doing a post on some UK Spice Girl impersonator’s tits, because there’s really nothing else to talk about, except maybe the fact that you can get off to pictures of cleavage, in which case, you are probably 12 years old and should not be reading this site.

I used to hang out at a mall near a college and this brown dude with slicked back hair would always let me bum cigarettes off him. The odd time I’d see him outside the mall at a bar while drunk, he always hooked me up with a beer out of his pitcher or more of his really strong smokes, because he knew me from the mall near his college. This was at a time, most people would avoid me or pretend that I didn’t exist, and if they did acknowledge my presence, they’d never have a quarter to spare for a coffee or that they only had one cigarette left so they couldn’t spare one for me.

It turns out the guy’s name is Bloodshot Bill, I just came across his video randomly, and motherfucker is a talent and hope the good Karma from being nice to me in a time no one bothered, pays off for him.

If anything, this video proves that people like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry and other hacks make it, while the real talent is sittin in the food court at your local mall giving down on their luck homeless lookin’ motherfuckers help.

Sometimes Payback isn’t a bitch….

I am not going to get involved in your shitty politics, but when I see videos of fucking uneducated people making insane statements, I have no choice but to laugh about it, because it’s better to laugh about, than crawl into the corner and wait for the fall of America, when gun slingin’ conservative anti-abortion cowboys come to get me.

What I do know is that Obama is called muslim but was raised Christian, in Hawaii, with retired white grandparents, he went to white school, he spent a month with his dad when he was 10 or 12, and that’s the only involvement he had to his Muslim and black roots and being muslim doesn’t make you a terrorist…

I also know what he is proposing is not communism, that’s John McCain’s Maverick propaganda, introducing solutions to a health care problem, that you all have to deal with, but that the rich don’t have to deal with because they are rich, taxing people who make absurd money, and cracking down on tax shelters these rich people are using offshore to no pay the government and to hoard all their money, is not communism, socialism, or marxism, it just makes sense, especially when you are all in major debt.

John McCain, a rich man, married to a very rich woman, with very rich friends, trying to protect the free market system, where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, but telling people they are all going to be taxed, because they don’t want to see a higher percentage of their money, because they are greedy rich folk, go out of their bank accounts and into the governments

Maybe your system is dated, maybe people need government to help them out a little, considering you aren’t doing too well as is, maybe you need a little hand out and a little less pressure on things, since you can’t afford a pot to piss in, Maybe redistribution of wealth is a logical step to take, since people who make middle class money or less, will not have to pay more to make up for the government and Wall Street’s fuck ups, but the people who make more money than that, will, it is a scale set up because the rich should be taxed more, it only makes sense, they don’t need all that money to make ends meet or for survival, they are already making too much of it….and I know I support that. I hate seeing these rich fuckers living large, while a huge percent of you are losing your house and I also like seeing sick people get help, because it’s just fucking human nature. Not everything has to be a fucking business, turning simple needs into something for profit, is the devils work. Maybe that makes me a communist.

And who the fuck is Joe the Plumber, an educated fuck, to label a motherfucker as a socialist, but the biggest concern is what McCain camp is using an uneducated plumber as part of his campaign, i don’t even trust plumbers to be alone in my apartment with my stepdaughters, let alone making claims of who is communist and who isn’t, but maybe that’s just the plumber who comes to my building doesn’t speak english very well, but he does know how to say he wants big boobies in his mouth, because he says it more than once, every time he comes to unclog the toilet, which is often.

This has got nothing to do with your moral stance, you know whether you are against abortion and for guns, it’s gotta do with logic and calling a spade a fucking spade, that you can’t see because your entire life, you’ve been told communism is bad, and that distracts you from opening your fuckin’ eyes and realize that some aspects of socialism aren’t that bad…..and what Obama is proposing isn’t even communism or socialist ideals….

None of that matters, it really isn’t even relevant to what’s going on, i mean i am drunk when writing this and I do know that seeing young kids call black people a monkey from Tarzan is a bad fucking sign. I can’t believe people are still passionate about hating someone for being black and you know they learned this in their uneducated home. People perpetuating racism need to be shot the fuck down, republican, democratic and politics aside…we don’t live in the 1800s anymore, Jews and Black people are allowed to vote and join country clubs, so get your fucking heads out of your fuckin’ dumb asses and focus on the fuckin’ issues.

It seriously makes me sad to see kids saying this kind of thing because you know they don’t know any better.

Don’t bother sending hate mail, I am not American and I do like McCain. I think he looks like a nice guy and Palin looks like a nice fuck, but that’s about all she’s worth, because she’s a repetitive puppet and she gives me a headache, so this post isn’t PRO-BAMA, it’s really supposed to be a commentary on these idiots in your nation, who make racial slurs on TV, and haven’t even hit puberty, and the real tragedy is how divided your country is……

Here’s the Obama Informercial…..He’s got nothin’ on the Sham Wow guy, or Suzanne Somers for thighs of steel or Jessica Simpson for Proactive, but i am posting it anyway…

I am at my neighbor’s house. Obama just took over all of his channels….this is probably going to work against him. America wants their TVs back….they have a limited time to enjoy them before the bank repossesses them, not that I think it’s a bad idea, but I am sure the republicans and people on the fence do. Give them their Wheel of Fortune back motherfuckers!!

I still think this dude is one of the coolest motherfuckers out there, I am hypnotized, his voice is like a hot jacuzzi, or a long massage, just want to cuddle up under a blanket and fall asleep to the lullaby that is is speech…and you can’t deny that no matter how racist y’are.

His biggest mistake was talking policy, people don’t want to hear all these numbers, he should have turned this into an Extreme Home Makeover, where they build one massive house for everyone who had to give their house back to the bank to live in….

How can you not vote for this dude, you people are fucking crazy.

Here are my links

Her name is Aisleyne Horgan Wallace and you’ve probably never heard of her, but I have. She’s some rich kid socialite from the UK, who has some important stepfather, who wanted to get a career of her own as a model, actress, Paris Hilton, so she signed up to some reality show, and showed off her ability to have pretty much no self respect while craving a lot of male attention. She’s showed up to events with her tits out, her underwear showing, and has done all she can to have people talk about her, her fake tits and heer used up pussy.

The truth is that she’s a pig faced waste of fucking space, but like all party sluts with the same self worth, she’s managed to show off her ass and fake titties again, it’s pretty much the core of her person and the only reason she gets work, and I’m going to support that, in hopes that one day we’ll meet and she’ll be nice enough to support me for being part of her quest to draw attention to herself. I am not very expensive, I just want out of this hell that I am living.

On a side note, there is a trendy club here, that I have managed to work my way into a couple of times with friends who knew people, not that getting into any club in this city is hard, everyone is relatively broke and useless, and the city is small enough to know a couple of key people, but that’s not the point, the point is that it has a similar balcony that looks over the dance floor and when I saw it for the first time, I thought i was in heaven. I looked up to the Gods while totally wasted and lookin back at me was young girls in short skirts wearing all different kinds of panties, some weren’t wearing panties at all, and as pussy, ass and thongs were being showered over me, I felt like I was in heaven, taking it all in, until a bouncer grabbed me and escorted me out for being a creep, never to be allowed back in again with nothing but memories to remember that glorious days, memories that are unfortunately sparked by this ugly slag.

The paparazzi attacked Amanda Bynes making her giggle like she’s on drugs, playing off that she’s shy, but when asked about Jennifer Hudson, she doesn’t seem too shy , after saying she feels very sad for them, then bursting into laughter…..pretty sympathetic, but in her defense, she’s too busy loving herself and thinking she’s the best thing on the fuckin’ planet to really bother with this black on black crime, I mean the only black people she knows live in Beverly Hills and other rich neighborhoods, and she even clenches on her purse when they walk up to her at charity events, on the street or in the club.

I don’t know if any of that is true, it’s just my own speculation, but I do know that her legs are good enough for me to forget her seemingly racist, insensitive, self-absorbed personality, because I never really take the time to get to know a girl well enough to know her opinion on shit, when I’m hiding under the stairwell trying to look up their skirts, if you know what I mean.

BONUS SOME OTHER MESSAGES TO JENNIFER HUDSON….

Here’s New York, she’s on some reality TV show called “I Love New York”, a show Jennifer Hudson’s Fiance was on before they were engaged, giving Jennifer Hudson a heart felt apology….

Here’s Sam Ronson, who has pretty much nothing to do with Jennifer Hudson, but the paparazzi feel the need to ask her opinion about it, regardless of her probably being too busy babysitting Lindsay Lohan to bother watching the news, giving her heart felt thoughts on the incident….

Heidi Klum played on her German or Swiss roots by posing with a cow for some Milk campaign. I am sure it’s not the first time in her career where she had to pose with an animal and I’m not just talking about her family portraits, but the truth is that I’d like to see her in a more traditional German outfit, maybe a Nazi uniform or maybe even lying in a cold dark basement covered in feces after shooting a hot scene for their nation passtime, Scat.

I never found this Milk shit hot, I mean who gives a fuck if she’s got a white substance on her lip, that shit doesn’t make me think of giving her a facial, but instead makes me think of all those night’s I’ve busted my wife in the kitchen with a box of oreos mid binge. But since I can’t always get what I want, I guess I’ll have to settle for this.

Elle Macpherson is the kind of model I like. Sure, she’s big and tall but that body is thin and long legged and she looks tight, despite being old and washed up. Sure I have a warm place in my heart since the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 1988 VHS tape was the best thing my perverted roommate who left behind because I got to see her tits in it and I’d try not to remember my perverted roommate who once got the police showing up at our place when we lived together because he was watching bondage porn and the neighbor thought someone was getting raped, when the only thing he was raping was himself, usually in the middle of the evening when he’d run off to the bathroom to take a shit and come out an hour later, something I never really understood, because sitting over a festering shit, never got me hard, even if it was the only alone time I got in a day….but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Elle Macpherson is so hot, she probably looks good taking a shit, which is something I’ve never experienced, mainly because the only time I’ve ever admitted that girls take shits is when I first got married a bunch of years ago and was given the job of helping my wife get off the toilet when she got stuck and if was lucky, I’d get to wipe her messy shit off her ass, all while contemplating suicide until doing a google image search for Elle Macpherson, to remember that not all girls make me sick.

Here is Elle Macpherson is some see-through dress recently.

Bai Ling is known for showing up to events with various body parts exposed, usually her lengthy fucking nipple, but for some reason, her Halloween costume is a hell of a lot less slutty than anything she wears in a normal day. I mean I hear the dude who works her local convenience store has seen her vagina more than the guy Bai Ling is fucking, but I could have the facts distorted and the convenience store clerk is actually the dude she’s fucking…..I guess it’s an Asian thing, you know owning and working a convenience store is regarded as the top of the food chain for them, I guess because of the freedom they get from sitting behind a cash from 8 in the morning until midnight, or the discount they get on expired food, and that is why they aspire to move to America, the land of opportunity, to own every single one of them in a 4 mile radius from pretty much anywhere you are right now. I guess it beats building the railroad.

Katie Price is a marketing genius. When she realized that she was famous for no fucking reason, other than having the biggest stupid fake tits around, she knew that either someone hotter with more plastic surgery would come along and steal her glory, or that if that didn’t happen, people would be bound to lose interest and find other whores with no shame to fixate on, so before her flame that is fame completely went out, she jumped into merchandising. She’s got a line of pretty much everything from lingerie to horse apparel, including some haircare bullshit.

I guess the real issue isn’t that someone with more money than they know what to do with can create a line of pretty much anything they want, but the fact that somewhere out there some slut is rockin’ this hair dryer in the dressing room of the strip club she works at, you know, the only kind of girl who can look at Katie Price as a symbol of inspiration, because the only other reason to buy this garbage is because it’s in the discount bin and you really need a hair dryer, which I doubt happens that often.

Either way, she was in some costume with her new scaled down tits that are still retardedly big and fake and I guess since I am a simple minded person, that’s enough reason to get a post here. Yes, it is that easy.

Don’t bother emailing me asking why the fuck I am posting this, not that you will, because I don’t really get emails, but it feels better to pretend people care enough to send in messages of encouragement or hate, but we all know that I am too irrelevant than that, so I’ll just stick to sending myself emails from various email addresses I’ve set up, and reading my SPAM because those people will always be there for me, and in fact are offering me 30 million dollars because they are the son of a Prince as well as penis enlargement medication, because they really understand my needs, and we all know that’s more than you’ve ever done for me.

Speaking of SPAM, Selma Blair, Hollywood’s own version of SPAM landed her very own role in a TV show, because I guess the persistant emails and phonecalls to producers was bound to annoy one of them enough to give her work, because that’s the only justification I can think of for her being on set dressed like a colorful streetwhore, but I figured it’s worth drawing attention to because it’s a motivational poster to all of you, that pretty much anyone can make it when they don’t have a gag reflex. Thanks Selma.

I went to the second hand clothing store to get myself a mask to wear for Halloween last night. Now, I have never dressed up before, but I’ve been told that I shoud because of all the good that dressing up does, like trick people into thinking you are in the Halloween spirit, leading to all kinds of wild and crazy adventures. When you don’t dress up, people just look at you like you’re some kind of asshole who think he’s too cool for the shit and girls tend to avoid you because they thing you’re a killjoy, instead of approach you and do body shots with you all while wearing their whore costumes….

So I was debating being the fat Sam Ronson, then I figured I’d go as a 15 year old girl, without thinking about the psychological affect that may have provided I enjoy the knee high socks and fresh white panties, then I decided to be lazy about shit and get a mask. So I hear about this place that has shit for 8 dollars and when I get there, it’s all in fucking shambles and the whole place smells like dead people, because I guess that’s where they score most of their second hand clothing.. The masks are supposed to be new, because putting someone I don’t know’s face up against mine grosses me out, but I decided to try some on to see which one I like, because I wasn’t thinking.

Big mistake. Whoever had tried on the mask I happened to pick up seemed to have a fucking cold, because I didn’t inspect the shit, and next thing I know I have green mucus all over my face and it wasn’t my green mucus, it was some other motherfucker’s green mucus, and since the place is designed for poverty, I have narrowed it down to poor person green mucus. Now, I wasn’t near a sink, I tried wiping it off with a pair of jeans that were on the shelf, that I have no idea who they were on before they were on my face, but based on the smell I can only assume a very fat man who doesn’t wear underwear and despite the panic, I barely got the shit off me, so I was forced to come home on the bus with it crusted up on me, my hand and my shirt. I got home and the water was out because my landlord decided it was a good day to work on the plumbing, and I was forced to use the orange juice in the fridge to try to scrub it off.

Now I am a sticky fucking mess and I am convinced I am going to die from whatever contagious diseases were in that mucus, fuck you hallloween.

Here are some links to shit going on in the stepFORUM, there’s a lot, but I figure it’s good enough to distract you from my stupid posts….