Paris Hilton Almost Died of the Day
Well unfortunately she didn’t die or almost die, but she is a rich kid and the kind of person who doesn’t leave the hosue for a week if she’s got a pimple. Unfortunately for the guys who have got herpes from her, she doesn’t take the same approach to pimples in her panties, but that’s just because the world doesn’t stare at them when in her party dress. What happened was she made a Grandiose Spoiled Cunt Who Thinks She’s Royalty exit from a club, as she does, without realizing she was walking into a brawl and she ended up getting pushed as some dude went nuts on a paparazzi, throwing punches because I assume he got sent an invoice for 50,000 dollars for posting their pictures like I did. Or maybe he got mad because the paparazzi got footage of him cheating on his girlfriend, like some guy who tried to fight me a few years ago while I was walking down the street video taping people and stopping on the slut he was with’s fake tits. Dude grabbed me by the throat, his group of 8 guys and 8 hookers circled around me and tried to break my camera, but we agreed to just delete the video because I wasn’t in the mood to get beat the fuck up by crazy guys I could tell like UFC who were drunk and jacked on coke and they weren’t in the mood to be made internet famous for their wives to figure out what the boys to when they go to Montreal for the weekend. The good news is that the video I deleted wasn’t even worth jerking off to so I guess I won in the end, at least that’s what I tell myself….as for Paris Hilton, it’s pretty unfortunate this wasn’t a gun fight and she just happened to get JFKed, not because I hate her, because I really don’t give a fuck, but because she’s pretty much better off dead.
