The thing I like about Celine Dion, other than the fact that she’s got the voice of an angel and is someone I can always turn to when I am feeling down and out and need a pick me up that really secures that I should go through with the suicide I’ve elaborately planned, is that she fucked her neighbor when she was 14, poor and living in small town Quebec and that gives me hope that in a few years, I’ll be able to find my own little money maker down in my ghetto neighborhood and I can just use Celine Dion’s success as part of my sales pitch to her drunk, hurting parents as to why they should let their daughter sit on my face….it’s a lot less criminal than it sounds, in small town Quebec most 14 year olds are already mothers of 5. Either way, here’s Celine Dion’s hot panties, because no matter how old she gets, behind those white walls is a violated teenage girl success story…

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