Natalie Martinez is not my sister, but I’d sure fuck her like she was. Some PR chick sent this out to me going off about how she’s the next Megan Fox and I got excited thinking she’d be poor, Mexican and covered in mud willing to sit on my dick for exposure, but it turns out she’s not Mexican but some Cuban who’s parents didn’t sink on their raft over hear and I guess that’s a good thing because she’s worth a round, even if she’ll never actually be famous with a name like Martinez, seriously bitch, they’ve got it out for us.

Now let’s just hope this PR chick jumps on my dick for posting this smut not because I can’t find anything better out there but because I like doing other people’s jobs for them for free because I am a fucking asshole who doesn’t know how to earn a living like all these other people….and I’m not complaining….because tonight is our office Christmas party, it’ll be sad and lonely since I’m the only one who works here, but I am totally going to fuck the secretary, and by secretary I mean the first girl I can unexpectedly creep up on…because we can’t afford secretaries here…

Here’s an old photoshoot of her when she was working as the face of J-Lo’s creatively named brand, J-Lo

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