I just saw this video of Jamie Spears telling the paparazzi or a reporter to fuck off and it is amazing.

This guy is a cross between a modern-day cowboy and a drunken homeless sex offender only instead of being like the homeless dude I ran into this morning when walking my wife’s dog, who was just winding down from an all night Christmas binge that’s lasted the last 6 years in an alley outside my house, this motherfucker can’t formulate a fucking sentence or hold a conversation.

He just got awarded 16,000 dollars a month to manage his daughters shit, which seems like a lot of bottles of moonshine, a lot of cartons of bootleg cigarettes, a lot of jeans and baseball hats from the Salvation Army and enough for a different 50 dollar an orgasm hooker everynight of the week. He even has enough money to put some aside for that dream vacation he always wanted to go on to the Flea Market and the whole thing just proves that America really is the promised land, where uneducated poor trash who lost his virginity to his uncle on the farm can live the life of luxury because he whored out his daughter on a whole other level than his neighbor at the trailer park did, because letting letting his bowling buddies fuck her for 10 dollars didn’t pay as much as international fame.

So now when Jamie Spears is drunk and wrestling furniture in his backyard, he’s doing it in a million dollar house next to an infinity pool and not next to a flooded outhouse next to the shanty with no running water or electricity that he lives in. The only challenge is trying to come up with a new excuse to beat up his wife because not bringing enough tip money home from her job at the diner to buy some feed for his pigs just doesn’t work anymore….

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 am and is filed under AMazing, Jamie Spears. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.