I just stayed inside all night. I was thinking about booking a last minute jetset off to Miami to spend the last few hours of 2008 and the first few hours of 2009 with Lohan and Ronson, then I thought maybe I’d hit up Vegas to get Fergie to sign my scrapbook as I waved to her from the dance floor as she hosted some party from the VIP room, then I figured the best bet would be to shoot down to New York and find Katy Perry, Carson Daly and whoever else did that fucking Ryan Seacrest countdown shit and get them to do body shots off my balls like we were all in college, but then I realized I am a fucking hurt bag with no money and I can’t do those kinds of things, and instead I stayed at home on the shit stained couch drinking anything I could find with booze in it, completely alone and it was fucking heaven. I don’t understand why an asshole would pay 200 dollars to be under the same roof, in the same bar as that whore Lohan, or any other shitty fucking celebrity who is getting paid to be there. It’s really a stupid fucking concept, it’s not like you can buy her a shot and get her to suck you off in the bathroom, despite how hungry for cock she is, it’s more like going to the zoo and watching the gorillas mate from 100 feet away. Either way, it’s not an issue I have to deal with.

Fuck New Years Eve, today is the time to get fucking wasted everything is cheaper and I am already drunk and here are some links…

The Best Way to End 2008 With a Bang is By Getting Arrested for Rape
GO

Why Hello Elle Macpherson’s Nipples!
GO

Lohan Buys Some Granny Panties
GO

Japanese Marathon
GO

Because I Know You Are Staying Home Alone Tonight
GO

Amateurs Galore
GO

Web Cae Stripdown
GO

Now THAT’S Some Cinematic Quality
GO

WTF Happened to Joaquin Pheonix?
GO

Remember Those Stills of Marisa Tomei Naked?
Well Here is the Moving Clips
GO

Star Jones is Slowly Turning Into Jahba the Hutt Again
GO

LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS LOOKS LIKE THE BEST MOVIE EVER
GO

Tori Spelling Wants to Let the World Know About Her Eating Disorder One Paid Magazine Article At a Time
GO

Here’s That 1 Versus 100 Prank Again
GO

Because There is No Fucking Way You Have a Date Tonight
GO

Luna Rubs One Out
GO

Solange is Looking Good on The Beach
GO

Jenny McClain is on the Street
GO

A Cat Fight Always Makes Me Smile
GO

Brawl at the Mall
GO

Anna Strips Down
GO

When You Play Wth Fire(works) You Get Burned
GO

Train Crash Test
GO

Start the New Year Off With a Bang
GO

Pimp My….Nerf Gun?
GO

Miss Pole Dancer Barcelona
GO

More Kanye West Insanity From His Personal Blog
GO

And I Thought I Was Fucking Fat
GO

Teen Nudes Are Always Good For Something
GO

Roseario Dawson is Sending a Message Out About Something Or Another
Hopefully Its About Me Banging the Shit Out of Her
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Loves the Snow
GO

Because Even a Horny, Drunk Chick on NYE May Not Sleep With You Easily
GO

Britney Spears Topless (sort of)
GO

Christina By the Waterfall
GO

Tis the Season to do sledding Double Back Flips
GO

Bypass Cabel Locks. In Case You Want to Fuck With Your Cable
GO

Bruno and I Have More in Common Than I Thought
GO

Fuck GPS Systems
GO

Random Time Wasters
GO

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