So Jennifer Love Hewitt and her boyfriend/fiance of 3 years broke up over the Holidays and I don’t really give a fuck, because I don’t feel sorry for anything bad that happens to celebrities, because I figure it balances out all the luck those fuckers have had over the course of their lives. They aren’t anymore talented than you and they don’t work harder than you and they aren’t fucking blessed so it’s nice when they deal with some real life issues. Sure breaking up on the holidays is bad, but not as bad as the time I dumped a longtime girlfriend who wanted to marry me on our 3 year anniversary because shit was getting heavy and she was totally not expecting it, she was actually expecting a ring, but I’m sure she’s happy the way shit panned out in retrospect….but that’s not the point, the point is the life lesson we can all take from this….

When you’re dating a fat chick and you don’t put the pressure on her to lose weight and take the weight gain as a sign of sexiness, comfort and stability, you’re fucking up, because girls don’t respect guys who date fat chicks, even if the fat chick is them. They look at the mirror in disgust and realize that something is wrong with you for not busting a fucking move like a real man, so the second they start working out, you gotta take that as a sign because it means they are about to get ready to move on to new dick.

Seriously, dude put up with her when she looked like this for probably half their fucking relationship and where did that loyalty get him, pretty much no where but with a big tattoo on his face for future girls as a guy they can walk all over because he stands by his chick through thick or thin….

Here are some pics of the happy couple on the 27th, before their worlds came crumbling down….or at least his world, because there’s no way he dumped her after sticking out the fat years. Idiot.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 at 6:43 pm and is filed under Jennifer Love Hewitt, Single. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.