I was at some 18 year old girl’s house “babysitting” the other night and we started watching the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, because like Russia and the Middle East, Canada is 6 months behind on shit, and I was thinking to myself how much hotter Heidi Klum, a 40 year old with a weathered, mother vagina and a big penised black husband, was fresher than the slob of a girl I was next to. Sure, the kind of 18 year olds I meet and spend time with are what you’d expect to find overdosing in the bathroom of a bus station, or shitting herself in a bus shelter on the side of a busy intersection or pretty much someone who has anything to do with buses, and decided that I suck at life, because I’m not with someone my own age who looks like this, but on a side note, I told her to shove a role of dirty pennies in her asshole and I’d let her keep it, I guess she needed the 50 cents, because she did it and it was fucking vile. I’m not sure the last time she showered, but her anus was lookin’ a little too much like Seal.

Here is Heidi Klum posing with bras, because bras are what made her.

Here she is without the bra…

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