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Lindsay Lohan Deathwatch of the Day

Lindsay Lohan’s Deathwatch continues…she’s still alive and trying to pack on the pounds by switching up her diet from being a diet coke, cigarette gum, vodka redbull, cocaine diet, to a regular coke, cigarette gum, vodka redbull, cocaine diet. That’s an extra 200 calories a day, so she’s probably not going to bottom out just yet, but you can’t live long off cafeine and other substances, so our day will come. Let’s just hope that this bitch never meets Kelly Clarkson, because that Kelly Clarkson diet plan despite may save Lohan’s life and we don’t want any of that happening….

Here are some really fucking exciting pictures of Lohan and Ronson leaving Ronson’s house to the Filipinos/Mexicans to clean up their lesbian drug addict mess.

Bonus Here’s Some Lohan Slutty Conspiracy of the Day

I got this email. I thought it was funny….

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Where Lindsay Lohan Really Got the Name For Her New Self-Tanner
As many of you probably already know, Lindsay Lohan has her own brand of leggings called “6126 Leggings” and apparently the line has been so successful that she is expanding her line to include another product she loves to wear, self-tanner.  I always thought 6126 was a stupid name for a brand and the name of her self-tanning mist is just as dumb, it’s called Sevin Nyne.  Noticing that Sevin Nyne, is an obvious play on the numbers 7 and 9, I thought to myself, self, maybe 6126 is also a play on numbers?  It only took a quick second to notice that 1+2+6=9, throw the 6 in front of the 126 and bam you got 69!

I guess Lindsay loves the position so much she named her leggings after it which isn’t that much of a stretch considering her current relationship status.  I bet she thought she was so smart disguising it the way she did. 

Further, in regards to her new product, according to http://www.urbandictionary.com, the 79 is simply an enhanced version of the 69.  If she loves the 69 enough to name her leggings after it, then I’m sure she also enjoys the enhanced version enough to name her self-tanner after it!  This time around she tried to hide it by craftily spelling the words in an unconventional fashion but alas, my mind is as dirty as hers and I discovered this little conspiracy theory which I’m sharing here with the world. 

Clever clever…someone call that guy from A Beautiful Mind…or the military…I think we’ve got a code cracker on our hands…someone who can help take down Korea!

  • Lt.Dangle

    I got 50 bucks that says she dead with in the year from an overdosed of we don’t care that your a fake lesbian or she slits her wrist after eat half a tomato and a walnut.

  • HorneyLohanWanker

    Who cares when she dies? There will always be another whore to step into her shoes.

    She DOES need to smoke more though, bitch is letting me down by allowing herself to be photographed with out a cigarette in her hand. Bad Lindsey!

    Hey, Also, Bitch, Show us your tits!

  • Satan666

    DIE DIE DIE!!!

    Do it Blohan!

  • escape

    Crafty? I thought she was just too fucking stupid to know how to spell seven and nine.

    That’s a great theory though and I really appreciate the thought and time that went into that.

    I also hope you did it on some asshole boss’s dime.

  • bob

    some people are so fucking stupid. it has something to do with marilyn monroe, some significant date for her or something.

  • Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD

    That certainly is the look of death on Linseed’s face. We must hope that whatever kills her, also kills that that putrid butch lezbo freak Ronson, who is just too disgusting to look at.

  • Ladybug Superfly

    I don’t mind the relationship aspect so much. Whatever her past, I think it’s good that she’s in a committed relationship and not currently whoring it up like every other celebrity.

    She needs to get over the whole Marilyn Monroe thing though. It’s like Jennifer Love Hewitt linking herself to Audrey Hepburn. Sooo lame sauce.

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