Though her knickers probably smells like stale shit and spoiled mushrooms, i’d still totally suck on her naughty bits, because I’m in love with Lilly. There i said it, I like Lilly, though its mainly because she’s fighting that up hill battle of being the ideal weight and not being grossly overweight, even if she’ll always fail and will have love handles cellulite and thunder thighs regardless of how many steps shes taken or diets she’ll try.

one of the hottest chicks that i was ever with (that’s not saying much) got breast cancer about 2 years after we stopped fucking.

she had one of the breast amputated. she went through some really tough times but beat that cancer. i know that she was extremely lonely and depressed for a while. she called me a couple times and left a message about me coming over…. i am pretty sure she wanted some dick but i was too afraid that my wood would go south once i saw her one tit… so like an asshole i dodged her calls.

true story.

i am a fucking shallow mother fucker

That’s some sad shit right there, in all honesty you should have given her the one two, but spilt milk and ifa woulda coulda is always too far gone. It isn’t gay to feel, just don’t get all touchy feely, then you’d be gayer than bicycle shorts.

that’s why god invented alcohol assholes!
Get fucking loaded before you go to her house even take a hit of a bong and you will fuck her so hard she’d be shitting sideways for days.