I have an internet relationship with Lydia Hearst, at least I like to think it’s actually Lydia Hearst, because it validates that what I do is actually read, while Twitter reminds me everyday that no one gives a fuck about what I do or have to say, so I go off on long conversations about life, the weather, my relationship with my wife, how I got drunk and slapped a girl I don’t knows ass or paid that bum 2 dollars to flash me his dick, and she always comes through with a little LOL, or response that makes me feel like she cares, and I don’t even mind that it is actually some 45 year old motherfuckin’ weirdo, or 13 year old Indonesian chick who is a fan of Hearst who created a fake profile, and uploaded random Google Images, in a creepy way, is the person I am actually talking to, because that’s how lonely I am.

Here’s Lydia at an event she didn’t invite me to, showing off some tit, but not showing off some tit for me.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 at 3:31 pm and is filed under Internet Girlfriend, Lydia Hearst. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.