Here is further evidence that girls are gold diggers, because I have seen that Everyone Loves Raymond show and shit made me want to kill myself, and not in a good way, like I want to do the world a favor and end my existance, but in a horribly savage way that involves heavy pain, and slow death, because the world is a horrible fucking place that produces this kind of garbage, but for some reason he’s managed to get Pussy….and I bet it has a whole lot to do with his bank account and not so much his work on that show….and if I find out that women would watch him in action and touch themselves…I may take myself up on that whole painful suicide plan, but for now it’s up in the fuckin’ air…

There’s something nice about girls who wear bikini tops instead of bras, it’s like they are prepared for something that none of us are in on, whether it be a flash flood, or maybe an emergency situation that involves saving a drowning kid from a public pool, or a dying pigeon in a fountain, or why ever the fuck else you’d wear a bikini to get your nails done and I’m not complaining, because I like bikinis, just not on me, they make me look fat, but so does pretty much everything else, including leaving the house.

I have no idea who Ashley Green is but you can google the shit as well as I can, probably even better, since my computer has aids, so it will give you something to do. You’re welcome.

If I had known that I would have been in a club with Lady Gaga last week, I probably would have played things out a little different, and instead of grabbing her ass around her secuirty guard’s back, and demanding a drink, only for her cunt fuck face to give me a dirty look, like she’s not a ugly piece of shit girl I would normally piss on if she hadn’t tricked the world and got herself famous, and I would have suicide bombed her fuckin’ pussy.

When I see her, I feel angry, and when I see her pulling stunts like this with her stupid hair piece to hide her accidented face and I just want her dead.

I know part of you wants to knock up the first bitch who comes your way so that she can never fuckin’ leave you and you won’t have to be alone anymore, but seriously, after lookin’ at these Coleen Rooney pics, you’ll realize that it’s a bad fuckin’ idea, but then again, any girl you land will probably already look like she’s pregnant, because you can only attract the lonely fat ones, who don’t need your contribution, I mean other than for the whole pregnancy to force you to stay with them for the rest of their fat bitch life as to not feel alone, and I guess that makes you motherfuckers soul mates….

Lohan’s birthday party wasn’t hosted by me, like it probably should have been, I mean if she wanted shit to be a little less cheesy and a lot more homeless, but I guess when you do it in Vegas, cheesy is totally what you’re into, and when you’re Lohan, so is drugs and other girl’s vaginas, I mean not that I know that for a fact, because she’s playing to cool to answer my fuckin’ emails that I’ve been sending her the last 2 weeks and shit is breaking my fuckin’ heart, but not as much as seeing her in this bikini that looks like it can’t give me a boner, even if i was railing lines of Viagra all fuckin’ day….maybe it’s got somehting to the swollen vagina in her bikini bottoms that looks like it is throbbing, pulsating, convulsing, and ready to attack, suffocate and murder a motherfucker that it crosses paths with….

Here she is a little covered up….

So Ashley Tisdale was out performing and trying to be as hot as she can, but unfortunately for her, hot is impossible, unless she’s in the fuckin’ sauna, or on a tropical resort, or being caught in a house fire when a crazed fan torches her shit cuz she won’t answer their fan mail, because no matter how much surgery she gets, she’s still ugly, and here she is performing cuz I know you wish you were the mic, or at least your penis was, because all mouth is good mouth, at least that’s what you tell yourself when you hook up with gay dudes, since they’re always down to suck dick and girls you know aren’t so much, because you’re too scared to talk to them….

Either way, pics.

A 6 year old was shot by his grandfather because he dropped a watermelon. I know what you are thinking, and they weren’t black and I am offended that your racist ass would think that they were based on the motive, it’s 2009 people, let’s get a little progressive and stop holding onto stereotypes of the past, like the whole watermelon shit, because apparently, poor white trash take their watermelon pretty fuckin’ serious.

Speaking of watermelon’s here’s a video of some busty girl who thinks getting arrested is amazing, for those of you don’t think 6 year olds dying over melon is funny.

I haven’t been on the computer all weekend, because it is summber and I prefer spending my time lookin at real girls in bikinis, or at least in short skirts and skimpy clothes, so I didn’t bother posting these Lohan in her bikini bottoms doin’ the Michael Jackson in Vegas celebrating her birthday, but that’s mainly because of severe sadness that I wasn’t invited to her party, like this was elementary school, and I was the weird fat kid no one likes, which I guess is a common theme in my life.

I am so fuckin’ tired of this MJ shit, like dude hasn’t had so much air play, since he fingered a 10 year old in his Hot Air Baloon, but this lesbian pussy grab picture is alright, because like all lesbians, I appreciate a good pussy grab, finger, lick, or pretty much anything vagina related, but unlike all lesbians I am not so down with construction boots, talking about women’s rights in a man’s world, huggin’ trees while eating organic trail mix, before shaving their heads, and rollin’ their flannel shirts up to rip off every penis that comes their way, because they are still bitter they got raped/molested or ignored when they were lesbian….

Here are the picssss….or the pic….but that’s not as exiting without all the “s’s”

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Turns out people are still fuckin' emotional about this whole MJ bullshit, this is going to be the last time I mention the shit, because the jokes are played out, but last night some dude who knows me and who follows me on twitter tried to rough me up for making the jokes I do about his death, like MJ was his fuckin' lover when he was 12 or some bullshit.

Here are the rest of the stepLINKS

Katie Price brought out her fake tits the other night because she hasn’t really got much of a choice and they pretty much follow her wherever she goes, kinda like when I bring out my disgustingly fat everything, my little penis and my herpes. I’ve written about her so fuckin’ much the last few days and I am bored of her….

I don’t know what the fuck is up with Louisianna, I do know that I’ve been there before and never wanted to fuckin’ leave, and the case in fuckin’ point is that some dude named Hurricane Chris was asked to come sing his song “Halle Berry ” in the House of Representatives during some Louisianna State Legislature session, whatever the fuck that means, I just know I wish that bitch on the right was doin a little less head bobbin and a little more booty talking. This is massively weird and out of fuckin’ context and that’s what makes me believe that anything is fuckin’ possible…

Here’s the lyrics in case you weren’t sure what they were talking about at this very important political gathering…

Lyrics to She’s Fine :
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Hurricane
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow

Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum

She fine den a bitch, ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Well let’s get ratchet
Let’s get ratchet
Look at her prettier then Halle and thicker than Janet
She say she like all of my club bangers I be jamming
Told her to bust it open let me see what’s really happnin
She the ship and I’m the captain
I’m tha captain
Booty bigger than the pus

And I’m all the way in your city
I’m from louisianna so you gotta show me how your
City do it for that camera
Make it drop and bring it back to the top
You no amateur
Girl you can give it to me it ain’t nothing I can’t handle
She just got out of the shower smellin like a scented candle
And I’m finna finna?
Sliding off tha mattress
No moving no acting baby this is real action
Beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me
I know your halle berry
Baby there’s no acting
I beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me for real

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Halle berry you jazze
That’s way past fine
Girl you look like something that should be on tha dance line
Increadable by tha waist
Pluss she got a pretty face
Even tho she got class she listen to UGK
I’m finna flip her through traffic
With tha top back of tha donk
Girl I gaurntee I can make you go numb numb numb numb
I got enough bread to take me and you to London
And back to America and all over the country
She make me want to keep her close by
Like a side kick
She tha type of chick that ain’t gone never look sloppy
I’m a beat it out the frame
Hurricane that’s who I be
You must be Halle berry
I don’t need to see your Id

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Gone bob your head
Gone work your shoulder
Now what I just said girl do it on tha dick
Age ain’t shit
I done got a lil older
Me or you man baby girl take a pic
Whitch one
She so classy, Shes so jazzy
Lil momma blow like a
Do it on tha dick
She don’t need no help
She say she got it
She do it all by her self
Get so fine
Like a god damn ticket
Gave her a hickey
In order for a nig like me to spend cash
You gotta bounce like shocks in your ass
You, bed, ass, work
Start slow faster
Mr. Halle Berry
Mr.Take your bitch
Take her from tha club
To tha car to tha dick

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

The only thing hot about a bitch with a thick neck, is that if you accidentally knock her up when dating her and you push her down the stairs in efforts to get rid of the baby, cuz you aren’t ready for that shit, the chances of her breaking her neck and ending up wheel-chair bound, forcing you to spend the rest of your life changing her fuckin’ diapers and pushing her the fuck around, because you’re a good guy and feel that it is the right thing to do, are a lot more slim to fuckin’ none. Now the only problem with that being the only thing hot about her is the rest of the time when you aren’t trying to push her down stairs and you’re forced to look at the shit all the fuckin time and have flashbacks of your childhood football coach who used to play find the fuckin’ 10 yard line in his anus.

This bitch is substantially more interesting when she’s half naked, watching her shop, or lookin’ at pictures of her shop, which is pretty much the same fuckin’ thing, without having to leave the comfort of my AIDS couch, is boring as shit, so boring that I figured I’d post the pictures for you…

Kendra Wilkinson’s got some hard nipples on her hard implants at the beginning of what will be a hard pregnancy because of the HPV, since she’s a whore. There’s nothing quite like a set of useless pregnant chick implants, I mean other than a set of useless mom impants, because watching a baby’s face after struggling to suck milk out of his mommy, only to come up empty, cuz shit is dryer than her pussy when she used to try to get turned on by Hefner, is amazing, but not as amazing as when the kid is old enough to use Wikipedia to find out his mom’s a fuckin’ whore….

If you are into wearing women’s panties, or having truck stop dick in your mouth, or maybe even a secret love for a dick in your ass with a beard brushing up against your testicles, you don’t have to live the gay life. You don’t need the leather assless pants. You don’t need the gay twang or gay sex or style, you can just go to your local “Gay Hating Church” and sort it the fuck out, but be careful cuz the last gay exorcism I heard about turned out to be a themed party that was less about getting the gay demons out, and more about getting the gay demons all over each other’s faces in some kind of orgy in the basement of a leather bar, but they were nice enough to give you a loot bag when they were done with you that was full of HIV, and by loot bag, I mean colon.