Maybe I am horny and tired of fat chicks who share a bed with me every fuckin’ night, but I think Tara Reid looks pretty fucking amazing. Maybe it’s her tan that distracts me from the fact that she’s dying on the inside from being on an alcohol and coke diet the last 10 years, or maybe it’s the fake tits, sloppy lipposuction job and bony ass that make her hot to me because girls who are dying on the inside are usually a fetish of mine, I mean that’s why I spend my hard earned money I steal from my wife on blowjobs from bitches with crazy addictions, but maybe that’s just because I can afford them. So in a lot of ways Tara Reid is the crackwhore who escaped being a crackwhore, the kind of crackwhore who made enough money so that she doesn’t have to sleep on park benches or wear the same panties for four days while lookin’ for dick to suck for more crack, she did is a crackwhore with a retirement plan, but a vagina that still looks and smells like a crackwhore, making her the idea crackwhore bride, making the dude she’s with the luckiest guy in the world.

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