I didn’t realize Taylor Momsen was a 15 year old. She’s on TV playing a high school student, and where I’m from, or at least the era I’m from, you need to be in your late 20s for that, you know to give all the girls complexes about why they don’t have full beards, crows feet and man bodies, but I guess times are changing, because here she is celebrating her 16th birthday, which as a skeptic, I think is staged because she looks like a 32 year old crackwhore already, maybe it’s just the Courtney Love hair….or the fact that she’s a teen in fucking see thru lingerie and I don’t find it the least bit attractive, if anything I want to give her a towel, some make-up remover and put her in the backseat of my car to bring home to give a serious lecture to, and I’m not saying that cuz I have a daddy complex, I am saying it because if you’re gonna be 16 and willing to get half naked, let’s move to Rhode Island and do it fuckin’ proper.

The paparazzi are excited that they get to dig into their crates and pull out pictures they never thought would be worth anything, but as paparazzi have no choice but to hope and pray that they will, because pictures of semi-famous cunts in bikinis can go either way, you know maybe the girl will just fade into obscurity or maybe she’ll date Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, who probably owns 25% of her, and that’s why he allows this all to go down, and I’m not talking about the 25% of her that is in her bikini bottoms, I’m talking 25% of whatever she makes in Hollywood, it’s gotta be a business arrangement or she’s gotta take it up the ass a lot, because based on her face it just doesn’t make sense…even if he is old dick and his standards have dipped….

So these pictures are of her in Miami, before Clooney, when she was just some slag on the beach the paparazzi shot when they were waiting for real celebs, and her body is fuckin’ alright by me….

Kim Kardashian’s found an interesting way to hide her fat, and that’s to make pants out of fucking bed sheets. I don’t know what shit she’s trying to pull off, maybe it has something to do with trying to connect to her roots by wearing traditional traveling Armenian gypsy outfits or maybe she’s tyring to connect with her black man market by dressing like MC Hammer in the 90s, rockin’ some parachute pants like she was Theo Fucking Huxtible, or Dwayne Wayne, or maybe bitch thinks she’s is a Genie in a bottle you need to rub the right way, and the right way, and as far as I’m concerned, the only way to rub this pig is not behind the fuckin’ ears on on it’s pig pussy, but by shoving a 12 gauge down her throat by tellin her to suck your pipe like it was Ray J, but that’s probably because I have anger issues or maybe it is cuz I think pigs should be treated like pigs, not named and brough into the house like a fucking pet….

Stormy Daniels beat up her husband because she didn’t like the way he did laundry. Sure, that’s a little high maintenance and crazy of her, but when you marry a pornstar you know you’re dealing with girls who have issues, whether it is because her dad never hugged her enough, or because her dad hugged her too much and by hugged I mean her mouth around his dick, or because they like the attention and are exhibitionists but don’t realize that after doing it long enough it takes a toll on their soul, leaving them broken down and feeling worthless….but the real issue is how much of a fuckin’ pussy this husband is for calling the cops on her, obviously a publicity stunt, because everyone I know who gets lip from their prostitute wives, bunch the bitch in the jaw and go about their fuckin’ day, they don’t go crying to the police, even like little molested girls have more fuckin’ balls then this motherfucker cuz they usually keep their mouths shut.This kind of bullshit is totally expected from Tampa Florida Porn Trash….and on a side note, I think she probably should have beat up her Plastic Surgeon for givin her such shitty fake tits..they look like throwbacks to what fake tits looked like when they were first invented.. she is some sloppy lookin’ piece of shit….

Here are some pics of her….

Story Via The News, Stormy Daniels’ Trashy Home and TheSmokingGun

Why’d she have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way she’s acting like somebody else gets me frustrated. What happened to the wholesome little suburban mall punk who married her suburban mall punk boyfriend who she met at the mall skateboard shop where they would buy Vans sneakers and punk accessories. Oh right, she grew the fuck up, got a little perspective and realized the faggot she married was wearing 3 inch high platform creepers wasn’t 15 anymore…

Here she is in St Tropez pampering herself up on the way to a yacht where she’e meeting some mysterious, rich, tall, dark haired man who dresses like an adult and the whole thing is so excited, I just wish I was there to see Sum 41′s face when they find out about this, shit’s gonna inspire a poorly written pop/punk song for sure. I just hope they stay together for the sake of the kids….

And just a little words of wisdom for the suburban mall punks who read this site….If you meet another suburban mall punk from the same state as you, maybe even the same neighborhood as you, who has the same job as you and may like the same music as you and attend all the same events as you, it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to marry the motherfucker….

There was a time when I would only rent movies with girls in bikinis, because porn wasn’t readily available and I was 16, horny and down to jerk off to some seriously softcore shit. That time is long fuckin’ gone, so I am surprised shit like this is still made, even when it’s starring Sophie Monk, an Australian I wanna fuck….but have been warned to stay away from because she’s insane, an insanity proven in the fact that she was engaged to one of the Good Charlotte sisters….and who got cheated on with Paris Hilton…proving either Paris has serious game, or this bitch is low fuckin’ quality….

Either way watch the clip and try to distract yourself from Amy Poehler’s midsection she’s got exposed, because there’s nothing hot about that…unless maybe you’re a lesbian…because lesbians see past the outside shell and love people with a good sense of humor who can make them laugh….

Here’s another clip….

And here’s some screen caps…..

I am posting this news story of some girl who did some car jacking and tried to rob some store or garage or something all while wearing a bikini, because the concept of a bikini bandit is a hell of a lot hotter than her inbred face. When I saw it was in Mississippi, I shoulda known bitch would have looked like she was hit in the face with a shovel by her father who also happens to be her husband and father of her babies. Either way, watch the video cuz you have nothing better to do with yourself….

I used to have a girl I dated who was paranoid I was fucking other girls. I guess because she lowered herself to get with me, she figured I had that affect on most women, unfortunately she was wrong. But every night I would come home and the first thing she would do is sniff my dick to see if she could smell other pussy on it and only half the time she’d suck me off after realizing she was being insane. So I started trying to fuck with her when I realized we were done and I’d rub random disgusting things on dick to fuck with her head, from mustard to mud to not washing for a week just to gross her out, but that just made her stop giving me blowjobs. Until one day, I took the plunge and rubbed my dick with some raw 3 day old fish and when I got home for the inspection she freaked the fuck out and stabbed me in the fuckin’ neck with a pen. I lived and lucky for you that I did cuz here are my stepLINKS….of the Day

The Miami Dolphin cheerleaders are doing some kind of Calendar in their bikinis, and there’s really nothing wrong with that because there is nothing wrong with any girls in their bikinis.

Now, I’m not a big sports person and I’ve never been excited about cheerleaders, I don’t really find them all that hot and even when I watch those televised highschool cheerleading competitions, I don’t get excited. They are too athletic and even though that whole fantasy’s been around forever, I just don’t dig anyone who acts a fool over team sports especially you.

Here is some Lindsay Lohan shopping, because that’s all she does since she’s got all kinds of money and nothing better to do with herself, and she’s wearing a tank top, while covering up her tits, because her nipples are hard and she’d hate to accidentally turn on a dude, because it’s in her nature to jump on the shit and fuck it, and that doesn’t really work for her whole lesbianism.

While Rebecca Gayheart is out having lunch at some fancy spot called Cafe Med, guess what the girl she ran over was doing? Come on, I’ll give you three chances…ok fine, I’ll just tell you…the girl Rebecca Gayheart ran over was busy being DEAD while Rebecca Gayheart was out having lunch at some fance spot called Cafe Med.

I guess this is further proof that the world isn’t unfair, but not unfair enough for Gayheart to get her period in these white pants, which would have been really fucking entertaining….it’s be like the blood shed of the little kid she killed’s head when she got ran the fuck over over, on the vagina/uterine lining version….where only the pants have to get cremated and not little kids….

If any of you want to know what freedom looks like, when freedom is clearly not deserved, but paid for with good lawyers, here are the pictures of this murdering cunt…….

Here’s some Gossip Girl bullshit wearing a see thru shirt because she’s got little tits but still wears bras because she is the kind of girls who doesn’t like other girls to have things they don’t have, that’s why they film sex tapes because dreams of getting the fuck out of the gutter overtake having any intregrity, they just love the male attention and being infront of the camera so even if dude’s fucking her foot while she’s doin’ it, and it all worked out in the end for her, but not for me, because I haven’t seen her sex tape yet…..and sex tapes used to be my job…

I don’t know who Rachel Taylor is, but I know I don’t like her, because like a typical cock teasing whore in a skirt, she’s gone and put on a pair of fuckin’ panties, when everyone know there is no fun in panties, except for maybe my neighbor who is obsessed with wearing women’s lingerie, to the point that he doesn’t give a shit that we all know and makes a point of picking up his mail or taking out his garbage with his thong exposed like he was a trashy teenage girl back when showin your thong was in style, when all I want to see is pussy.

I was talking to a guy from Barbados about Rihanna, since she’s Barbados pride and joy and everyone knows everyone there, so his friends were friends with some of her friends and he told me that when she comes back home she stays at the single most exclusive resort on the island, she doesn’t stay back in the shanty with her family, it’s like bitch forgot where she came from and is too good for them or some shit.

It turns out she’s too good for showing us her tit, because she’s gone so far as to not wear a bra in a see thru shirt but decides to wear nipple pasties so none of us perverts can see what’s goin’ down.

Cunt. If it wasn’t for singing, she’d be selling blowjobs to tourists and not even the tourists who stay at the luxurious resort she stays at, I’m talking tourists who stay in the bottom feeder hotels, so bitch needs to get some perspective….and here are the pics…

I don’t know where the fuck this was shot, or who the fuck is doing this news broadcast, but motherfucker, should be in a different line of work. It reminds me of when I used to hang on Indian Reserves and we’d be listening to their shortwave radio, where some asshole would read out the fuckin’ weather, when you could tell he’d rather be drinking and gambling or snowshoeing.

Seriously, this is the weirdest fuckin’ news report I’ve ever heard….Shit reminds me of when I used to play “radio” thinking about how great it would be to be Ryan Seacrest, and by be I mean be inside….

Ok that was a shitty joke, but you’ll like this video, even if there are no tits in the shit and it’s all about black on black crime…