DrunkenStepfather – Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment, Good Times… » Blog Archive » Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day

For you perverts who get off to kids shows….and I know you fucking exist. Because anything you can think someone jerks off to, there is probably someone who has and really when it comes to Dora the Explorer, who really can’t find her dark complexion and little shorts hot, especially considering she is an explorer, something that usually translates into “Adventurous Enough For Anal”, something Alba probably should have channeled the night she flipped the used condom inside out after skipping her birth control pill to get knocked up to lock Cash Warren in for life, but instead was too emotional and scared of being alone.

We get it bitch, you’re a mom, you know kids shows, just shut the fuck up and put on some lingerie. Couldn’t you have been Dora the Whore Explorer or some shit, this is useless….step it the fuck up Alba, or should we just call her a series of constant disappointments….

Bonus – Cash Warren Standing Next to Ass

Pics via PacificCoastNews

This entry was posted on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm and is filed under Dora the Explorer, Halloween, Jessica Alba. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD

Oh isn’t this bitch Alba the one who comes from Mexico but tries to deny that she’s from Mexico? Yeah, she looks like she’s done a few donkey shows ha ha. Dumb ugly bitch is from Mexico, and that’s harsh reality.
Bob Smith

She’s so over that it’s a joke.

She had a cute body that she wouldn’t share with the world. Then she has a baby (to lock in serious child support) and then she’s doing her best to push her over-the-hill body as if we care any more.

Sorry honey, come back when you’re ready to do Huster.
Benji

wow! you guys sound so badass slamming her over the internet!
Seriously get a fucking life you sound like douchebags.
Bob Smith

Jessica, it’s pretty funny that you’d try to come here and pretend to be Benji. But I know you’re really not Benji. Benji is a sweaty little guy whose only sexual experience was when he fingered his sister when she was asleep.
Jack

I’ll admit that her costume was disappointing & not sexy. But I can see where she’s coming from – she has a 16-month-old daughter. But this wasn’t a children’s party! And she’s said herself that she can guarantee the studios to bring in the male audience. I was hoping for Wonderwoman or a tight leather catsuit or maybe fishnet stockings & stiletto heels! Some of the comments above are just plain wrong & hateful to her & women in general. Jessica is beautiful & one of the most grounded & down-to-earth women in Hollywood. An error in judgement this time – she forgot the guys who put her food on the table.
Egon Spengler

I think its the Pedo route she took to attract the male viewers.
drunken pig

The only “Benji”…..is a ball licking srcungy mutt!!!…on the other hand…I’d still D’hora explore her!!