I know, I know, we’ve been seeing so much of each other, it’s reminding you of that pesky case of Herpes that keeps on coming back for more only I’m not diseased and would never, ever go near you’re cock ever. The only clue I have to fat asses whereabouts today is from a note he left on the kitchen table that read:
“Dear Family
Gone to Starbucks. Trying to look up some mini skirts of teenage sluts because they like frappacino and I like venti sized tits.
Cuddles.
J”
We all know this is a blatant lie because ever since that homeless man held up the Starbucks down the stree, they kick out anyone that doesn’t buy anything right away and since Jesus is broke and smells just as bad as (if not worse than) a Hobo, it’s safe to say he would have been ejected as soon as he stepped through door. As for his actual whereabouts, your guess is as good as mine.
Here are today’s links. Click them, it’s not like you’re doing anything meaningful with your life.
Who is Kelly Bensimon? fucked If I Know, But She Looks Damn Good in a Bikini GO
Myspace Is’t Down With Coco Backing That Thang Up GO
Fashion is perverted and there are constant nipples and constant nudity and for some reason shit is seen as an art, and respected in some billion dollar industry, when girls who let people fuck them on camera or just get naked on camera is considered porn. The whole thing is a double standard I hate, so I’d like you all to take pictures of you jerking off to these pictures for me to prove to all the fashion snobs that they are nothin’ but smut peddlers….
She is a nobody. I hate her. She tried to sue me. It is personal. So I know I shouldn’t be giving her attention.
But I do have a little ski bunny fetish, only because I live in Canada and have been to the ski hill many times, only to see girls getting in and out of snowsuits and girls who think are horrible looking while bundled up on the slopes, actually have amazing bodies they are just hiding in ill-fitting snowsuits while trying to keep warm….making trying to seduce them like playing the lottery, never knowing what you are going to get….making the whole ski scene one I was too poor to ever be a part of, but a solid place to work as a janitor who cleans out the girl’s locker room where they all change and walk around in their long underwear….
I’m just using Victoria Silvstedt to prove a point…not because I think she’s one of those snow bunnies I want to fuck, cuz I know she’s just a high paid escort and there’s nothing exciting about bitches who jump through hoops for money…I guess unless they are jumping through my hoops….
Her name is Rachel Taylor, she’s some 25 year old who looks like she’s 15 and she’s from Australia. She was once Miss Teen Tasmania, she will never be quite as big as the other talent from Tasmania, like the Tasmanian devil who still graces the mudflaps, bumpers, back windows and various body parts of white trash everywhere, but she’s a lot more logical a choice to jerk off to….if you’re into small titty tom boy bitches who wear boy’s underwear cuz they think they are one of the boys, unfortunately, there’s more cock than pussy in this clip from some movie called Splinterheads you probably will never see…..but that I’ve at least posted the best part of….
This bitch is ALWAYS wearing these fucking pants. We get it, you’re a mom, you like to jog despite how sloppy your body looks, and you want us to always think you’re headed to the fucking gym, but seriously, I need some fucking variety in my life, it’s like everyday I see her in these goddamn black leggings and shit fucking annoys me, but I guess the real issue is why I even notice or care what Reese Witherspoon is wearing, its not like I’ve ever wanted to masturbate to her, or even liked her or thought she deserved an Academy Award….serioulsy, there is absolutely no reason for this post…I’ll stop now, but before I do, I will post one of her nude scenes to warrant Today being such a shitty day for celebrity smut.
Rachel Bilson bores the fuck out of me. She’s one of those young actors who I wanted to fuck when she was on the OC because of her cute little voice I wanted to muffle by shoving my balls in her mouth, but instead of turning into an attention whore addicted to fame and cocaine and partying, she got engaged to some boring dude from Star Wars to live a simple life in Canada on a farm and when she does make appearances, because I assume she still works as an actor and spends time in LA, she looks like this, boring and plain and the only thing she gives us to try to jerk off to the memory of her, is a fuckin ass check barely visible and that’s real fucking shitty of her. She needs to give more to the people who gave her a fucking career and the good life her bank account reminds her about daily. Cunt.
This dude got busted for tricking his classmates into sending him nude pictures by pretending to be a girl. He then threatened them to go public with their pics if they didn’t perform sexual acts on him. He did this to 30 guys and then he got busted and now has to spend 15 years behind bars.
Which is insane, send him to therapy, not to prison. He didn’t force these kids to take the pics and it’s not really blackmail unless you let it be. I think this is just a funny internet prank gone wrong, but I guess the law is the law, even though if this happened 10 years ago, no one would give a shit if a gay guy tried to get his straight friends to get it on with him based on fear…I mean the truth is that if anyone actually fell for this shit and hooked up with him to prevent getting their pics released, they were homo to begin with and he just did them a favor, cuz I know I’d rather show the world my boner, than have a boner up inside me….and very little someone could do or say would get a dick inside me, unless maybe a free trip to Disney World, but that’s just because it’s the happiest place on earth and I like happy things….
The good news is that he will be going to Prison, which is homo paradise, where he will get all the dick he wants, so I guess things could be a hell of a lot worse for him….
Maybe I just have a soft spot for him because getting nudes of girls has been my failed life work….
Cheryl Burke looks like the kind of girl who went to prom alone, or who skipped out on prom all together because she was too busy being the fat girl eating a bag of Oreos and Ice Cream with no friends and no date. You know, before she found dance, and the community that encouraged her to go bigger and try harder becuase it finally felt like she had friends and people who cared about her, she felt like she belonged and that new confidence came her whole eagerness to take her shit to Hollywood and make millions doing what she is most passionate about and what saved her from suicide, instead of being a drug addicted stripper, but these pictures make it safe to say she hasn’t fully recovered from the scars left from Highschool…..
Corey Feldman reminds us all that no matter how much of loser you may look like you are, if you have a career as a child star everyone loved 20 years ago, when you dominated the 80s and the teen pop magazines pedophiles jerk off to, you still find some low level, slutty enough, short skirt wearing pussy to give you the time of day, and by time of day I mean dirty fucking sex, because dating you is a hell of a lot more fun than hanging on your co-worker at Subway couch watching him and his friends play videogames and beer pong, cuz you know you’re far more premium than that….whore.
I got in a fight with a Russian woman yesterday, because Russian’s are fucking insane. I guess it’s all those years of communist rule, rationed bread and work camps, communal thinking and dreams of escaping to America to one day drive a cab, or become a mail order bride to be able to afford a pair of Levis makes a motherfucker pretty fucking angry and bitter. I am not gonna bother going into details because the shit was so fucking stupid, but I will say that after our minor exchange, the bitch would no let it go, for 3 hours she kept coming back to me and getting in my fucking face, cuz I guess Russians hold a grudge, but then again, the Cold War already taught me that….
I know Joanna Krupa’s not a Russian, but I can only assume this cabbage farmer’s daughter has the same miserable, angry look and least that’s the only explanation I have for that scowl on her weathered face other than that she’s getting old and tired….
I guess she’s made her mark and has done all her skill set has allowed and had this been 20 years ago, she could have been inspiration to all the Polish people stuck in their country, unable to escape, bringing hope that one day you would be able to become a whore in America, who models Lingerie and nude and who never really amounts to anything, or is never really respected, and who just gets old when is she is no longer marketable according to her low level clients, cuz her body was the only marketable thing she had….
His name is Chuck Liddell, he is some UFC fighter and here he is working out with his wife naked, and the only thing I found interesting about the whole thing is that he actually has a wife.
Chuck Liddell, Nude, Workout
Some UFC Fighter Working Out Nude Viral Video of the Day
His name is Chuck Liddell, he is some UFC fighter and here he is working out with his wife naked, and the only thing I found interesting about the whole thing is that he actually has a wife.
I know the whole UFC thing is pretty fucking cheesy and the people involved are alpha males who like to kill and conquer with their bare hands, on some primal shit, but at the same time like wrestling and choking out their half naked homies and I am convinced that this is gay porn for straight guy who doesn’t know he’s a homo.
Either way, here’s the video of him and his wife in a naked workout that I can only assume is released as some publicity stunt…they are saying for Reebok, which gives me hope corproate brands realize that nakedness on the net gets views….
I know the whole UFC thing is pretty fucking cheesy and the people involved are alpha males who like to kill and conquer with their bare hands, on some primal shit, but at the same time like wrestling and choking out their half naked homies and I am convinced that this is gay porn for straight guy who doesn’t know he’s a homo.
Either way, here’s the video of him and his wife in a naked workout that I can only assume is released as some publicity stunt…they are saying for Reebok, which gives me hope corproate brands realize that nakedness on the net gets views….
I remember Anne Hathaway being known for her fat tits on her skinny frame, I even thought that they were the only reason she was famous or why people noticed her. I figured if she never had tits like that, she’d be working at KFC or some shit, but thanks to her tits, despite what small titted women will tell you, took her to the top of her game, which isn’t necessarily the top of the game, but in a game that’s got so many players, she’s still doin’ ok and really all I’m trying to say is that she’s clearly trying to break free from her tits and all they have given her like a hot teenage busty girl who hates having huge tits cuz of all the attention she gets from it when she just wants to fit in…and it makes no sense to me…but I know I don’t like this much.
It’s almost refreshing to see Avril Lavigne not dressed like a little suburban 15 year old teenager who cuts herself and writes poetry about how much she hates the cool kids at her school cuz they don’t get her, but maybe that’s just because I always found teenagers who think they are so smart and that life is so intense while dying their hair multi-color, getting stupid tattoos while learning the guitar to sing about their stupidity. She’s wearing a little black dress, she’s greased up and glistening, has whore make-up and that cheesy stripper chick skunked out hair that makes me know I’m dealing with a piece of white trash from outside of the city who if she gets too drunk will need a place to sleep cuz you’re her responsible new friend who cares about her safety and cuz she likes to get fucked by strangers cuz that’s why she wears such short skirts, crotchless panties and has 3 half-black babies with different fathers….
AnnaLynne McCord is perfect to start my hungover Friday with, because before being a married miserable old fuck, I used to get pussy, and often times that pussy was girls I was too drunk to really realize just how ugly they were, and often times I’d be with friends, who I’d consult with before taking them back to my single, sheetless mattress in the corner of my friend’s bedroom I used to live on, and most of the times, they’d hype her up and tell me she was good to go and that if I backed out now, I was faggot. So I’d go home, I’d do whatever it is I’d do to them, and I’d wake up only to realize that all that hype was fucking lies, and that my friends weren’t really friends at all…they just wanted me to go home with the girl with one-eye, or the girl with a patch of green fungus on her cheek and a variety of other seriously disgusting shit I would have hated myself for, if I didn’t hate myself already and think the whole thing was funny.
What I am trying to say is, this bitch is all hype, there’s nothing about her that warrants me or anyone else talking about her, sure she’s skinny and has a big Julia Roberts mouth you can shove your fist in while fucking her up the ass, but everything else about her fuckin’ sucks, especially the fact that she thinks she’s fucking famous. I hate her….
I should have posted these earlier, but I was in a pretty serious fight with my hangover, it kicked me in the ass pretty fucking hard, making me question my idea to buy the last round of doubles while the bar was closing. I blame my toothless, ex-biker, homeless friend who kept giving girls around us random stolen jewelry, but maybe it was the guy who looked like everything he did was staged, from his shaved head to his tattoos, to his hood half mounted on his head, to the way he checked out girls, to the girls he ended up making out with and bringing home, while me and the homeless man did shots and talked about the young pussy we were submersed it. Sure, my night doesn’t make sense, but my friend found my pants in his elevator, he lives 10 blocks away from me and I’m just hoping toothless homie didn’t have his way with me. I am pretty sure I’d remember that, but I guess 6-8 weeks will tell….
Here are my stepLINKS.
Ke$ha’s Dumpy Ass or a Monster is Eating Her From the Hips Down. The Jury is Still Out GO
