I love Charlize Theron. Even when she plays white trash serial killer I can still get off to her, not that I’ve got off to anyone in the last few years, but the memories are pretty fucking fond. If I knew fucking my wife at her fattest would have given me post traumatic stress making me unable to fuck anymore, I probably would have played things out a little differently, but the good news is that this new found pent up sexual energy has made me one of the biggest perverts on the internet, the kind of guy who can look at pictures of a hot South African slut who’s probably pushing 40 posing on a red carpet and visualize a bitch on her bed masturbating thanks to her facial expressions, and that’s some serious fucking issues, probably comparable to some of you virgins who think you are dating celebrities cuz you found a picture of them winking at the camera and you’re desperation makes you delusional and think she’s winking at you….
I guess all this is to say, we’re all in the same boat and that boat is not anywhere near the pussy we’d like to Dora the Explorer.
Nicole Scherzinger has a horrible face. Bitch looks like some kind of monster coming to suicide bomb my babies. Maybe it’s the fake tan. Or the fact that I think she shouldn’t be allowed out of her house without a burka covering her up..but her body is solid and even when she does some seriously faggot shit promoting Dancing With the Stars, I got no choice but to look and almost enjoy that shit and that depresses me more than you know…it means my life has come to this and apparently so has yours…
Here’s Tommy Hilfiger’s neice who thinks she’s hotter than she is, but should realize that if her uncle, a billionaire in the fashion industry, can’t get her a modeling contract and she has to resort to having a ModelMayhem page to get work, or show off her sleazy trashy pictures she’s paid to have taken of her, she should probably consider another career….like working at a movie theater or something, because shit, at least there you’ll get to see all the movies you want for free, instead of doing low level modeling work you have no right doing for free….
I’m not sure what’s going in these rollerblading pictures, I’m also not sure why people bothered taking pictures of her, I can only assume these were staged and her family paid to release them, because that’s all it takes to lay groundwork of being a low-level celebrity, you know get the buzz out there so people know you exist before releasing the sex tape with some rapper.
She’s totally uninteresting, she’s not hot, but I have no problem making her as famous as I can, all she has to do is email me some pictures of her pussy. It’s just that easy….and I know it’ll happen when this delusional bitch who has been told too many fake positive things about herself realizes her friends and family were lying to her when they used to tell her how pretty she is to make up for the fact that she’s a fucking midget.
I heard about this story last week. Basically some people are blaming facebook for the rise of Syphilis is some UK towns where Facebook is most popular and Facebook is denying the claim, saying they are a place for friends and family to connect, which is the biggest load of shit I’ve heard in a while, when everyone I know has fucked at least one girl thanks to meeting on Facebook. Including me. Yes…I venture down that road if the opportunity is interesting enough….
Seriously, I’ve heard of people getting married cuz of the shit and Facebook celebrates that, but when it comes to good old premiscuous, unprotected sex, the fuckers deny. It’s simple…hitting up “friends” of “friends” makes things less awkward, it’s like a buffer zone, the gives people a sense of trust, that usually ends up in penetration and it’s free…..
Either way, it’s an old story. Facebook are cocksuckers. They deleted my profile 3 times. They have even blocked sending porn sites to each other over chat. It’s really not our own profile or virtual space…they own it, they control it, and now they give you fucking Syphilis but the good news is that Syphilis or not, you’re still getting pussy and the fun thing about Syphilis that everyone forgets is that some of the great artists of History had Syphilis and shit makes you go crazy and justified sexually transmitted craziness is better than straight up craziness.
I am still not sure who Lisa Rinna is but I do know that she was all nipples the other night…not that that’s a good thing…because there comes an age in every woman’s life where staring at her hard nipples starts to make the average person feel awkward and Lisa Rinna is pushing that age…except the other day when I saw a 75 year old walking her dog in a turtleneck and saw nothing but really hard, awkwardly placed nipples and liked it….because like Rinna, she wasn’t wearing a bra the other night and I guess why would she…because Rinna was spent enough money on her tits over the years so that they don’t need a bra, so she might as well get her money’s worth….and the good news is that her tits in this dress give her the little attention she’s addicted to and distracts us from her thick jacked-up lipped face…..
If you google her, you’ll see her Playboy pictures and these relatively new old lady tits in all their glory…but I can’t post the shit cuz Playboy are mean and like to sue.
I watched the OC back when every college girl watched the OC and I needed to know what was going on to fit in at every college party I would go to because they had the cheapeat drinks and the best, drunkest, slutty girls….the most common drunken conversation was whether Mischa Barton or Rachel Bilson were hotter, I know, I can’t believe I would have such pathetic virginal conversations, but they did land me some serious playtime with young pussy and it was worth it. Either way, girls would always say how Mischa Barton was the hot one and I just didn’t get it cuz she always looked like she does in these pictures to me. I always new she was a bloated sloppy pig of a woman just waiting until the show was off the air to let herself go and I was right….
I don’t know what’s going on with this girl, but I know it’s nothing good, but maybe gutter pig women on the verge of death are your thing, because they are usually too unstable and weak to say no to anal, but what the fuck do I know.
I never found Ellen Pompeo hot, but in my defense, I’ve never found most of the girls I’ve actually had sex with hot, but I still had sex with them, and I’m just posting pictures of this hag, and not even buying her drinks with a guilty conscious knowing that after I cum, I’ll have to tell her a fake name and give her a fake number so that she doesn’t call me back, not because I’m all that impressive in any way, but that they are just that fucking desperate and ugly….
The nice thing about checking out girls is that that don’t have to look good or be hot, they just have to be wearing tight enough clothes and be willing to show the world their milk filled tits or spandex wearing ass, as she spends her days trying to get her body back to where it was before getting knocked up, as her career depends on it….and I like to think she’s doing an okay job…but like the mom’s I check out on the street leaving Yoga class in tight bike shorts, I have no idea what her body looked like before she got pregnant, I just know her pussy was a hell of a lot less stretched out and damaged, since she wasn’t worth lookin’ at then, and maybe she’s not even worth lookin at now, but I’m posting the pics anyway.
I don’t know where these Mila Kunis pictures are from, but I do know that I have a thing for Mila Kunis. She is the reason I made it through a Russell Brand movie. She is the reason I used to get hard watching Family Guy. She is the reason I watched That 70s Show and almost liked it. There’s just something mystical about Mila Kunis and that thing is not the fact that she is engaged to Michael Jackson’s emotionally distraught, confused, drugged up ex-child star….
Macaulay Culkin managing to convince her into his bedroom despite his probably AIDS dick, is the one thing that is wrong with her, I mean sure, their relationship means she’s loyal and not too picky, doesn’t mind people who don’t shower and that she has no issue running after her childhood dreams and that she gets what she sets her mind to, even if that thing isn’t reaching for the stars, but I just hope she just feel obligated to be there for Macaulay Culkin since no one else is, in some friendship and maternal way, since he’s gay.
The whole thing is unfortunate, but her showing off her tits for some male attention that she’s not getting at home is really one of the best things in Hollywood according to me, which isn’t saying much, but it’s saying something.
I know you don’t give a fuck about Jeremy Jackson, the kid who played Hobie on Baywatch, even though Baywatch was something you grew up jerking off to, but I thought these pictures were funny.
I don’t know if he’e ever worked since Baywatch, but he still live in LA and here he is making faces that lead me to believe dude is jacked on some kind of drug…..
I’ve been in drunk near these jacked-up jock lookin dudes, who look like they go to the gym before going out, so that they muscles are as swollen as they can get, in order to impress the girls in their tight shirts…and every once in a while one of them decides to dabble in cocaine , usually cut with speed, and it ends up lookin’ like this, all aggressive and in your face, cuz jocks on drugs just aren’t as wholesome as people who aren’t on steroids…until they embrace their homosexuality…then jocks on drugs become the topless guy with glow sticks and a boner brushing up against dudes…but it takes a few nights out to get to that level of acceptance of their own sexual needs….
I don’t know what’s going on in this picture, but I do know that whatever it is, it’s fucking disgusting…the only good that about it is that it reminds me that there are some tits, on some pussy, that I just can’t fucking stomach…while sober….but at least she’s got a real great fucking tattoo….that reminds me she probably doesn’t have the best oral hygiene and her scraggly teeth, are a tender reminder that she’s packing a BlueWaffle one of my worst Internet discoveries today…you can thank Trey Boogie the whitest black guy on the internet for ruining our lives with that….
I am sick. I am tired. I need alcohol. Here are my stepLINKS….
I had an internal battle over these pictures because I hate Tila Tequila with a passion and I know she’s bottom feeding as hard as she can because MTV made her a star for a couple years and now, she’s done, like expired milk, no one wants anything to do with her, not even the homeless people and morons, cuz they know expired milk, although nutritious, causes serious shitting problems….but I run a site based on bitches being bottom feeding trash, so that she’s come to this is partially worth celebrating…
I saw her on Twitter last night announce she has anal sex, like people are supposed to get excited knowing that shit. I saw her do some stripshow 10,000 people watched. I saw her latch to the death of someone she barely knew, pretending they were engaged, and the whole thing was desperate, annoying, partially insane, and I really hoped it ended up in suicide, but instead it ended in this….
Her calling the paparazzi to watch her grocery shop in a thong. She’s holding on as hard as she can, but I’m glad her fake celebrity that never deserved to be a celebrity, and was just fake myspace friends, that MTV confused for relevance, finally comes crashing down….
She’s pulled every stunt she’s see in the tabloids, from sizing up melons, to reading STAR, to bending over cuz she “accidentally” dropped something, to wearing a see through dress. This is almost amazing….not for her but for everyone else…What it comes down to is that this cunt is almost scary, totally unstable, very pathetic and here are the pics…
I have had this running joke for the last couple of decades about ways I would end a pregnancy if I ever accidentally knocked up, I even wrote a script about the shit, but my computer got stolen and I never decided to re-write the shit. I had the wholesome “I’m having a nightmare” punch in the gut, the less obvious drive into oncoming traffic while making a left hand turn when the bitch is in the front passenger seat, to the pushing down the stairs…but I never thought about poisoning my girlfriend with abortion medication you give cows…that shit was way to farmland americana for me to ever think about…but shit is genius…
Adrianne Curry is holding onto the 15 minutes of fame she had 5 years ago the way any self-respecting, famewhore, would…by posting these almost topless pics on twitter. She’s such a tease, at least that’s what she’s trying to do for her 70,000 twitter fans who don’t really care about her or what she has to say, but instead are watching to see her sanity crack and post Very Brady Sex tapes, because that’s bound to happen eventually.
She blocked me and told me off as best she could a few months ago, but I still get access to the goods and despite no being interested in her in anyway, or thinking she deserves any more attention that other whores online, I can’t help myself but post this and laugh, cuz I know girls, even exhibitionist girls, who know this kind of self-promotion is the cheapest and easiest way to get noticed…it’s just unfortunate that it didn’t involve her showing her meaty cunt spread open, since she’s already done playboy, you’d think she’d step up her game…
It’s so obvious, but you idiots fall for it, and apparently, so do I…
I don’t need a lawsuit, so let me say this before I go on, Rebecca Gayheart and her high paid lawyers are not actual murderers. She legally got off because the court system is fucking corrupt…but her car did hit a kid and that kid is dead and no matter how legally responsible she is or not, as far as I am concerned her car did kill a kid….and when you’re driving and paying attention to the road and not trying to cut through traffic caused by people stopping for a kid crossing the street, cuz you are so important and in a rush while talking on your cellphone, and a motherfuckin kid gets killed, I think it’s your fault….so in the court of Drunkenstepfather, where logic outweighs expensive lawyers and loopholes, bitch is a fucking murderer..
That said, she just had a kid of her own…not that you care…but I like to check in and see if Karma has got its revenge yet, and by Karma I mean the little Mexican kid she ran over’s mother…to punish Gayheart since the courts didn’t..by taking her baby before it’s time….
I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with Rebecca Gayheart being relevant, because even in lesbian threesomes she bores me….The only thing she’s good for is if she decides to license her name to some Gay porn producers for their “Crazy Heart” gay porn, about a country singer who is down on his luck and writes a hit song for a kid he mentored with anal but who is now a star starring Jake Gyllenhaal.
Danielle Mason is some UK “Glamour Model”, a concept I don’t understand, but assume has to do with the UK having some pretty ugly grey skinned women married to really blue collar dudes with no tastes, because every single one of these UK “Glamour Models” looks like a fucking pig to me, especially when they are caked up in make-up and wearing cheap sexshop underwear like the stripper I wouldn’t bother getting a lap dance from…or in Danielle Mason’s case, carting around a cake and showing off their gunt like they’re in shape, while letting everyone know they have pretty much given up on their career as a “Glamour Model” but has taken up emotional eating since it makes everything okay, like those years of abuse and a failed career as a public whore, at least until she hits 400 pounds and dies of heart disease.
