I write about useless celebrities as if they are news every day, when the real funny shit is actual news that is actually happening and not on the red carpet, or at bullshit club or event, or even in Hollywood on NYC.

The real celebrities are the people who make the nightly news, because they are not only the people who make up America and best represent America…They are real life doing real dumb shit.

Hollywood is all fake, fabricated and controlled by big budgets, and big business. It’s all a fucking lie, so I’ve decided to post a few clips of some of the best news stories of the day…

Enjoy…..

Coeds Strip Down To Undies For Charity in DC
Hundreds of college students stripped down to their underwear Tuesday night to raise money and collect clothes for the homeless and half naked coeds is always amazing no matter what the cause is…especially when they are the girl in the black legging with the hot ass who the camera man pervs out on….Seriously, if you want anything to get done, get college girls stripped down and I’m pretty sure every dude on campus will be there.

Deaf Rapper Signs Record Deal and has the support of a record label that helped launch Eminem. I assume he is probably not Deaf at all, but it’s too awkward to make him take a hearing test, shit has got to be a gimmick to get noticed since everyone wants to rap…Trust me, real deaf people I know can’t even ask you for a dollar to donate to their charity….

Man Arrested for Watching Women Shower at Wisconsin College, Something That I’ve Always Fantasized about Thanks to the original Debbie Does Dallas but never pulled off, cuz I knew I’d get caught, but the idea of all the seeing unsuspecting girls washing together will always be porn…

Woman Busted for Offering Oral Sex to Cops to Drop DUI Charges even though every girl I know flirts with cops and makes deals with cops cuz cops don’t get paid enough to not be dirty…but I guess this bitch caught the rare bread who don’t like having fun even though they can.

Census worker charged with rape
An Indiana census worker is charged with raping a mentally handicapped woman. It happens to the best of us. Those dopey seductive eyes and inability to tell on us is a major turn on….

Sex during class at Middle School
Parents are shocked after the news that two middle school students engaged in oral sex in the back of a classroom while the teacher was showing a movie. If this was going down when I was in high school, I would have never dropped out of the shit. Seriously. Why are girls so much cooler now, I don’t get it. Is it the hormones in the food? Is it the media? Is it rap music? Whatever it is, it’s arousing….

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 4:50 pm and is filed under stepNEWS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.