There used to be a girl who used to come over and put on vagina puppet shows 5 years ago. We never fucked, she would just knock on my door, I’d answer and she’d have her skirt hiked up, running dialog, like if she could borrow some milk, all while making her vagina talk. These vagina puppet shows were not really erotic, but still some of the best and only vagina puppet shows anyone ever performed for me….leading to a lifetime obsession with the idea of vagina puppet shows, but never finding a girl to take my requests seriously….
I ran into the vagina puppeteer today and she pretended she didn’t know me. Here I thought maybe we could go to a park nearby and relive the glory vagina puppet show days, but instead, she left me with nothing but feelings of inadequacies, like I wasn’t good enough to witness her secret talent she once shared with me…
I don’t know what bullshit I am running, cuz I didn’t actually didn’t bother trying to talk to her, partially because she was screaming insanity on the street while begging for money, and figured vagina puppet shows or not, it’s not worth the headaches because the vagina puppeteer was a crazy person and I try to avoid crazy people, it just didnt make for as good of a story…Here are my stepLINKS…
Deperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve spent my day looking for the hottest bullshit I could find on celebrity cunt I hate, but nothing was as good as this morning’s Salma Hayek tits, so I’m scrambling trying to find the goods, and all I could come up with was this disguting Kelis bitch in a fucking see thru and shit looks more lie Jay Z in a granny afro wig than pussy I wanna fuck, but she’s got a bra on, and that’s all it takes for me to decide whether she’s relevant or not…I am that pathetic…no matter how disgusting it is and Kelis is my proof of that….Unfortunately….
I am convinced that Katy Perry is the fucking devil coming to pollute our lives, at least that’s what her music makes me think…Not to mention that her skin always looks like it’s peeling off. Sure, she passes it off as acne, but I think it’s latex/silicone/make-up to cover her demon face….like some kind of Halloween costume on some 3 am drunk pussy after puking up the night’s festivities for 3 hours….
I am convinced she’s not human, and further proof of that is that her nipple are never hard. Prostetic to make us believe she’s not hear to eat our children.
Someone needs to slay this monster and save humanity….or at least get me some topless pics of her and her bad skin…
Remember when Gisele was all the rage, before Victoria’s Secret fired her for being a dude, and Tom Brady fake married her and fake got her pregnant, cuz she’s the kinda dude a closet case can appreciate to keep up the front, and sure these pictures don’t prove that she’s not a dude, cuz she’s wearing clothes, but they do prove that she’s not fat, and sometimes, especially in America, that’s enough to be considered fantasy, you know since everyone there is fat….
I know some of you closet cases were huge Gisele fans…so I figure seeing her wet will make you happy….and that’s really all I have to say about that….
It’s a good thing Momsen dresses in lingerie and talks about vibrators while being underage, because I just took a look at her face, instead of staring at her crotch looking for vagina lip and realized bitch looks just like Lady Gaga. Maybe they are related. They both got a weak chin, shitty nose, weird mouth and behind the big glasses, shitty hair dye, fake rocker act, she’s nothing but ugly….The only thing bitch has going for her is that she’s skinny…but that never lasts…so take the young body in while you can…ignore the face cuz when they are 17…they don’t come in ugly, they come in “Shit I’d love to fuck that if it wasn’t illegal”…..cuz we always like what we can’t have…but trust me, once she turns 18, she’ll be joining JoJo in pussy we stopped lusting for on their 18th birthday…
So here she in on set, being annoying with her Pa-Pa-Pa-pokerface. I know…I just quoted Gaga and now i want to Gag AHHHHHHHH.
I figured it was only a matter of time before someone gave Jessica Alba a hand out. She was a huge success at one point in her career and people were very into her….and by people…I mean perverts.
She was this cocktease whore who would get in her bikini and never anything less, and she kept her stock up, like any non-nude model before they get naked and see their online following drop, only in Alba’s case, she didn’t show pussy, she got pregnant…
Perverts tend to be loyal to girls they always wanted to fuck, or at least see naked, so if you put the bitch in whatever you are doing, there’s bond to be the leftover fans willing to watch, hoping they will finally get what they want….
So here she is showing off her little bloated belly that never quite bounced back to where it was and her deflated tits, cuz that’s what happens when you spend your days working out hoping to get rid of your bloated belly that never bounced back…..
Lesbians have a way of turning me off. Even bullshit lesbians who are just lesbians cuz they ran thru their dick supply at a young age and had limited options of where to take their pussy.
The deal lesbians is that they are either rape victims, child molested victims, or fat chicks who can’t get dick, so in turn go to women, cuz women are less judgemental, making them real fucking bitter…and willing to rip off and stomp on any cock they come across, no matter how big or how small it is, they equally discriminate. These are the lesbians behind the feminist movements, the knitting parties in the park, and pretty much embody everything unsexy about lesbianism
Then there are the hot lesbians, who have given up on cock cuz they are either too objectified by cock, they find cock too easy, or in Lohan’s case, they’ve had too much fucking cock and it hasn’t worked out for them….These are the lesbians who are only lesbians because they like masturbating cuz they find themselves really hot, they like getting their pussies eaten cuz it requires little work for their lazy asses, and they like sucking on tit, cuz it reminds them of sucking on their own tit….These lesbians although not real lesbians, but lebsians by choice are not hot cuz lesbian sex is anti-climatic, and because they are generally self-involved cunts….
So seeing Lohan, doing some lesbian bullshit, in no make-up but some trendy lesbian clothes, like the modern take on Lumberjack/construction worker fat lesbians have been rockin’ forever, and sexing it up just doesn’t do it for me, cuz I can smell the pussy juices on her face and hands from here, their whole lesbian cause irritates the fuck out of me…
Girls should only smell like pussy juice from group sex experience, or from their own pussy juices either during masturbation or sex….but not from relationships with other girls who look like Sam “Dog Killer” Ronson….
Lohan needs to go back to flashing cunt and fucking the cast of That 70s Show….
Here is some weirdness going on in the news….if you’re dumb enough…maybe one day you’ll be one of these clips…I can only hope my reader is that accomplished…
Yoko Ono Fakes a Horrible Orgasm for 3 Minutes
Yoko Ono taped ‘Voice Piece for soprano & wish tree at MoMA reenacting a three minute orgasm
2 Very Ugly Women Arrested on Prostitution Charge in Texas
Travis County Sheriff Deputies have arrested two women on prostitution charges stemming from a Rollingwood massage parlor. It’s not prostitution – it’s a cultural thing….
Murder by Minivan in Memphis
A Memphis man is accused of running over his friend with great witness recounts
Caught on Tape: Woman’s Wallet Stolen During Communion
Jean Barcone left her purse while going to get communion and a thief took advantage cuz there is no god….
Cops: Drugged Up Dad Left Son in Freezer cuz Meth is Awesome…
A Chandler man has been arrested after police say he put his 7-month-old son in the freezer — but that’s not the worst of it.
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Stripper Pole Fail
Choosing Prostitution or Torture
The Gulf Coast Violent Offenders Task Force is looking for a dangerous fugitive accused of forcing a local teenager to choose between prostitution or torture.
Penthouse Club Suing City of Detroit
New rules have changed dirty dancing in the city of Detroit. However, one strip club is fighting back and taking the city to court.
Prostitution Crackdown in Cook County, Illinois
Stretches of Mannheim Road have long been known as a place where prostitution flourished.
Salma Hayek may be older, thicker and a mom, but she’s still Salma Hayek and she’s doing pretty fucking good in these pictures.
I was one of the many dudes who thought her Mexican face wasn’t hairy enough to turn me off of her curvy fucking body, and I’m may have giving up on her, you know traded her in for younger, fresher pussy, but I’m not giving up on her now, she’s recruited me back into her fan club, even though I hate Mexican women cuz they remind me of my dead whore mother…not because of her rotting pussy, but because she’s Mexican….but her weight gain and pregnancy has brought her even bigger fucking tits, and since I don’t get to fuck her, I don’t really care how mangled her pussy has become….I just like that she’s out there, showing the other busty starlets that they aren’t anything special, cuz everyone with a little tit can get themselves a push-up bra and a low cut shirt…and as a perverted blogger…I’m glad she did cuz this is a magical reminder of great tits from a simpler time…
This kind of behavior really pisses me off. I figure if you’re gonna fucking get this naked, you might as well get fully naked. I also figure that if you’re going to try to launch an acting career, you might as well leave your moral and dignity at the fucking casting couch door, cuz that’s just no the business you are in. You’re a slut, stop pretending to be an artist…embrace yourself as the stripper with the choreographed theatrical stage performance, who no matter how pretentious she is, still gives lap dances in the back room.
There’s nothing more insulting than a bitch who is prude, has a no nudity clause, but still manages to agree to getting this naked, without getting fully naked, cuz nipple pasties look fucking stupid, they irritate me, and remind me of exactly the kind of girl this no-name, useless, bullshit actress cunt is…and that’s pussy that isn’t quite committed enough to the cause and who doesn’t care about the people trying to jerk off to her shitty acting in a sex scene.
Seriously. This makes me mad….just another example of big tits gone to fucking waste…
I had something to say, but then I came across this pictures and I am just trying to figure out what went through this bitch’s head when she took these pictures. Tese are the kind of underwear that make men gay, but instead she’s wearing them to amateur porn shoots…it just doesn’t make sense to me, unless she’s an immigrant, or these pics were taken a long time ago, or who the fuck knows, but it’s bringing in horrible flashbacks from the 80s I don’t want to be having….and luckily there’s a great cure for that I call hard drinking….which is where I’m headed now, cuz it’s the key component to my inspired Tweets about Justin Bieber and Kanye sex, NASCAR and Roeseanne, and anything else my drunk, useless brain decides to pollute 3 ppl with….
I am onto Jersey Shore. They are so fucking obvious in their strategy to be the safe for TV version of Girls Gone Wild, by taking girls who would have been in the RV showering for Joe Francis, and making a show out of the trash.
So in keeping up with obvious, almost boring and expected drunk girl at the party behavior that has become norm at college events, thanks to Girls Gone Wild and other Spring Break related bullshit….that includes body shots, girls kissing girls, flashing panty and tits, and all the other bullshit that comes with being a trashy party slut, only I am pretty sure these Jersey Shore bitches are sober and just going through the action.
It is all bullshit, their ugly, let’s hope they die when their tour bus drives off a ravine because the driver is a hero willing to sacrifice himself to save humanity….
But on the positive side of everything, know that at least one teen who watches this bullshit is going to be busting out body shots at their next party….something…that just didn’t happen when I was in school, spoiling this generation even more that they already are…
If you like leathery skinned, horribly aged monsters rockin out like college whores, even if they never went to college….this post is for you…
Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson walking chin first in some ridiculous heels, cuz everyone knows ridiculous heels make your mom legs and mom ass look a lot fucking better, even if your mom legs and mom ass are hardly used, since the man you got knocked up by is a total faggot who only likes when he is the one things are being inserted into…
She’s still come a long way from being the lip syncing joke trying to make a name for herself, stuck in her sister’s shadow, but I like to think her sister’s over-eating ha s a lot to do with that…
Either way, legs are legs, and the fact this pussy is practically virgin, despite having had a kid pass through it, not only confuses me, cuz mom pussy by default is supposed to be haggard pussy, but kinda turns me on….
So as long as she keeps up this chin first whore strut, I’m down to watch.
On a sidenote, I had no idea the Emmy’s were on. Maybe because I don’t have a TV, but probably because the Emmy’s fucking suck….even when Christina Hendricks wears push-up bras to make her tits look ridiculous and the rest of her as lean as she can…
Sure she’s got huge tits, but I still think she looks like a dude, or an alien, or a robot, or something I have no interest in having sex with just because she has big tits….I’ve always been one of those dudes who wouldn’t fuck a pig of a woman by choice, or sober, just because she had big tits, and even when I was fucking them, I’d know what I was doing was disgusting and against all I stood for, even though she had nice big tits…if anything those nice big tits were just a vehicle for me to cum, by blocking out everything else about the bitch, and I kinda feel the same way about this Hendricks girl, who is totally overrated….but who has totally huge tits. Totally.
Either way, she won something….at what I assume are now called the Golden Globes….get what I did there? I replaced one award show with another cuz it suited her big tits. Genius….but seriously…this tits are ridiculous…they aren’t on another planet, they are another planet…
I gotta stop this post….too many bad jokes in too few words…
I haven’t figured out why I am posting this bullshit, because it fucking bores me to see. Maybe I’ve been doing this too long, or maybe I’m desensitized, or maybe Britney’s not all that fucking hot and I could go to my local park and see hotter pussy in a bikini, or maybe I get the PR game of getting in bikinis to get noticed and the whole thing is dull….
When it comes to Britney, I need mental breakdowns that involve shit smeared war painted face and naked body while performing a puppet show with her vagina, making it look like her cunt is lip syncing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and until that happen, I will be disappointed in pretty much everything this trash does.
Hollywood needs new blood. Not more true blood. New blood…..of hot young pussy who don’t start out as mentally case sluts, but who gradually get destroyed enough to become that….you know, kinda taking us on a ride and keeping us interested.
What it all comes down to, is that I need new hobbies…
