I am still jerking off to a handful of Candian quarters. Partially because I have a hard time cumming, but mainly in anticipation of the day Kate Middleton’s bikini pictures to be on the head side…if you know what I mean….
Not that I care about this Royal Wedding shit….but everyone else does cuz they don’t realize it’s all marketing to increase the stock of the Royal Family with the commoners….
But I took the day off anyway, cuz I like to pretend I’m a british nobel….so I went to the park and a lady let me hold her baby while drunk, I played with dogs in the park while drunk, I interracted with crackwhores in a Wendy’s and I am currently trying to get more drunk to wash off the piss smell those crackwhores left on my leg…. this is the life of a loser….
So Who Wants to See Megan Fox Look Like a Bird Hooker? GO
If Kate Middleton Was Smart, She Would Have Worn This to Her Wedding and Shaken Things Up a Bit GO
I think it’s safe to say that Jaime Pressly and what must be fake tits are more than ready to release a sex tape to increase her celebrity, assert herself in Hollywood as someone worth watching, sure it’s probably 15 years later than it should have been released, but I’m pretty sure I’d still watch it….not that I wouldn’t watch every sex tape released, I like the bottom feeding it represents, but this one would be special….or not…
Alyson Hannigan is so desperate for cock that she was seen out on the street practicing how to spread eagle her shit in hopes sperm would accidentally land in her and get her pregnant again…only she didn’t realize it works better when you’re not wearing pants and the dude she’s getting down with is drunk, medicated, or confused about whether cumming in a cartoon character of a pussy will actually knock her up or not….cuz he’s too focused ont he fact that he’s fucking a cartoon pussy…you know what I’m saying…and if you’re not…it that’s not everything is as beautiful as the Royal Wedding…if you know what I mean…
Who the fuck is this bitch and why am I posting pictures of her legs? I don’t have the answer to that question, that’s why I am turning to you. Not that I actually give a fuck about what you think…I don’t even give a fuck about what I think…I just know I saw legs and went for it..I didn’t even bother looking her up on wikipedia….ohhhhh dis…..at least in the geek world I live in and I’ll just leave it at that…cuz I just realized I run a fucking website and that humilates me.
I think as a testament to Kim Kardashian’s current condition as a chunky as fuck fat girl, it only makes sense that when I first saw these pictures, I thought that they were pictures of Kim Kardashian….something that Kim Kardashian has probably spent her life trying to avoid, you know whenever any family or friends said “You look so much like each other, oh sisters”, she’d go into a 3 week long eating disorder bender, validating herself with random black cock, and whatever else she’d do to make the pain go away….but now, thanks to her sloppy body, it’s too hard to avoid, She is morphing into Khloe….Are you guys sisters, how cute…if this was a horror movie…
I am torn…and I am not talking about my asshole, it wasn’t that kind of prison rape from unhealthy constipated shit day, I’m talking about on a deep rooted hatred for Nicole Richie….
Not only have I had the unfortuante opportunity to hang out in the same room as her one club night 6 years ago I was invited to, where I first hand experienced her uninteresting, shy, snobby, insecure, cunt behavior, that may have stemmed from trying to steal her cellular, or that could be cuz she thought she was superior to everyone in the room, you know cuz she was adopted by Lionel Richel, like little Orphan Annie or some shit…
But I also think she’s ugly…
So whenever any of her shit comes up, I feel obligated to ignore it, but when the bikini pics hit, I feel obligated to post it..
So don’t let this shit confuse you, I definitely hate Nicole Richie and anxiously await her drug overdose cuz of guilt she feels for killing DJ AM….Fingers are crossed.
This is the kind of shit that makes Beyonce a jealous, insecure cunt who hits the gym, gets what look like implants, all to secure her position as Jay Z’s number 1 ho….cuz you can’t take the gully crackwhore out of the bitch….even if she’s all rich and called a Diva and shit…
What a slut. I don’t even know who this Billy Dee Williams character is, but bitch is up on him like he’s some kind of movie producer, or maybe someone who paved the way for her to launch her career when no one wanted a white girl locked in a black girl’s body…we could speculate about this shit all day, but I’d rather just look at her tits…
If anyone actually read my site, they’d know that in 1989, Elle Macpherson introduced me to bikini models. Prior to that, I was just a clueless immigrant too busy fucking the handicap fat girl on my block, cuz she seduced me and who was I to say no….
I basically got my hands on a VHS of the SI Swimsuit edition, and bitch looked amazing, and as far as I’m concerned, she still does, especially when her mom pussy eats her mom jeans and makes a mom cametoe, cuz it reminds me that she’s got genitalsI once stayed up late to jerk off to, hoping not to get caught in the foster home I was living in, even though she’s old.
I had a plan to watch the Royal Wedding, mainly cuz I know every woman in the world is masturbating to the shit, because every girl wants a Royal Wedding, but only a handful of women get to have one, so instead they fully absorb themselves in the shit, and I thought it’d be funny to make fun of the shit, from Kate Middleton’s average at best looks, that if I was an inbred balding King in trainging, I’d aim for more a mormon approach and I’d only get down with models….not the kid of a flight attendent…
So I got drunk, thinking I’d experience this bullshit, but instead passed the fuck out when the shitty coverage of the event excitedly announced Prince Harry’s Chelsy Davy Slut showed up….I suck at drunken live blogging at 6 am…..
So I didn’t get to experience Beckham, or Mr Bean, or Elton John, or the awkward kiss, or the wedding dress and wedding cake all these shows have been speculating what the shit COULD look like, and I didn’t care….
I don’t follow this shit, I don’t care about this shit, and you shouldn’t either, there are actually things going on in the world, like critical shit that people should know about, but instead, they blinded 2 billion of us with this expensive shit…and that in and of itself is Hilarious….because I know this was a marketing campaign for the Royal Family to connect with the people, to get a new lifeline and to re-assert their position and remind people they exist cuz pretty much no one gives a fuck about them, I mean until the marketing blitz no one did….
Either way, it was a classic case of long, drawn out gold digging at its finest, girls take note, if you don’t push for a wedding, act cool, dude will lock it down…
I don’t have a hangover. Sure I got drunk. But I am not hungover cuz the Royal Wedding was so fucking boring, I passed out and had one of the best sleeps of my fucking life, I knew the Royals had a fucking purpose, and I found it…I should be celebrated….Long live the DrunkenStepfather….
Here is an outrageous amount of links for you outrageous people….I have this serious plan of getting drunk and molesting….it’s kinda my thing I fail at but I’m persistant about, along with unhappiness, it’s the one constant…do you feel like my therapist? Don’t. Therapy is for rich people who never had love from their parents and fags who are either fags and hate it or fags and won’t admit it…I’m happy the way things worked out…
This is what I call eager to post without the pictures of some bitch and her boyfriend/husband who brain washed her and ruined her career, because that’s something he’s good at, I mean unless you consider being a character they are going to kill off on Desperate Housewives after years of being unable to get work…the kind of person you really want to attach yourself to…cuz you’re just an insecure little cunt addicted to his big useless dick cuz that’s what brain washing is all about…
Olivia Munn is one of the single worse humans out there. She’s a bottom feeding attention whore. She’s gone the “target the geeks, talk their talk, cuz they are unsuspecting and can’t get laid” route, and it worked, cuz she’s getting legit gigs for legit shows now….The whole thing almost pisses me off, but I generally don’t care. I figure if an average at best girl has the ability to make millions off her body and moderate talent that is really just a willingness to put herself out there, then let her benefit from the shit….We may not be the idiots getting her gigs, but we are the idiots the networks think love the bitch….it’s just a horrible series of events…
Either way, now she’s the face of Carl’s Jr….maybe in honor of her beef curtains…maybe that beefy, cheesy smell she’s been giving off has finally been put to good use…you know cuz Carl’s Jr has done this before..with Alba, Padma, Paris Hilton, Audrina, low level scum is kinda there thing…
The Genius in all this is that she was the face for PETA, one of Carl’s Jr’s biggers endorsers…
Because Olivia Munn is bullshit…sure she’ll argue Carl’s Jr isn’t the circus abuse to animals, mass production of beef products is totally different, but I argue, she’ll do any job she’s given…all in efforts to get ahead.
She is the worst.
Here’s the actual commercial, even though Carl’s Jr isn’t paying me…
I watched Boardwalk Empire. I saw her naked hipster bush. I POSTED HER HIPSTER NUDITY. I like naked hipster bush.
Even if the bush was grown out for accuracy of the era.
I saw her in some art fag video, even if art fag nudity generally bores me, while sex simulation generally doesn’t….
I thought all these things were good enough…and now I have no idea what the fuck I am looking at now….Maybe she should strategically show hipster bush to distract me from that really freaky face….Is this a product of Botox, or no make-up….Is this a birth defect that make-up artists are able to cover-up before shooter….Is she not really hot ever, and I just got carried away about the tits on TV….who the fuck knows…or really cares…it’s just funny to look at this Amazing face…
